I never wanted you to be
The inspiration for my best artwork
But here I am
Crying watercolors
Desperately clutching
Sketches of our memories
Both terrified the colors will fade
And horribly sick that I painted you
Into my life at all

I am so tired of feeling this sick
Of knowing that every beautiful taste
will have to be thrown up
Of searching for the sweetness
knowing the peril that will follow
I am tired of feeling empty
Of emptiness than can only be filled temporarily
I am tired of feeling this sick
And so it may be time to starve
So that at least there will be
Nothing left to lose

I remember the first time
I realized I lost you,
It was the morning I sat
Paralyzed in shock
On the cement back steps
And lost in a fog of confusion
I wondered,
How could something
So beautifully perfect
Break as easy as glass?
I supposed the most
Beautiful things were
Always the most fragile
•
I remember the second time
I realized I lost you
It was the hot midday
I called you from my car
I heard you paralyze in shock
As I yelled words
That cleared the fog and
I wondered,
How did this glass
Not shatter sooner
For it is the most fragile
Of love I’ve ever known
•
The third time I lost you
It was a painfully clear night
Those pieces of glass became
Speckles of sparkling dust
Dried and fresh blood
Still staining my hands
I guess it took three times
To wash my hands clean
And to pull the last shreds
Of our love from my skin
•

There’s not a day that passes
That I don’t think of you,
They tell me this is love
You told me you’d always
be there if I came back,
Anyone would say this is love
Hand out our book to anyone,
Let them read the words you spoke and
The details of your decisions and
I promise,
No one would title our book Love