I no longer feel sad
When selfish people walk away
Instead I become numb
Each time that they don’t stay
In fact the ones that go
Don’t even turn to leave
Instead they take what they can
Until service is no longer in need
They will beam sunshine in repay
Throw bouquets of yellow roses
They’ll call it friendship in light of day
Avoiding confrontation and explosives
But when night comes and sky is dark
It’s much easier to conceal a selfish heart
And it doesn’t seem to matter
Where their loyalty resides
If they’re not the ones that walk away
Then they can stay and hide
And claim it’s not their fault when
A friendship burns and dies

I’m exhausted with grey color- schemes
And copy-paste lines
Please spit out any empty words
Only speak if your thoughts have flavor  
I’m starving for something real
I’m aching for something breathtaking
Still reminiscing of bold colors
Passionate reds
Blooming greens and
Yellows of perfectly content happiness
And wondering, when will I feel colors again
Let me run through those trails with new eyes
And wade through the rivers with new skin
Help me to create joy that cannot be compared
To anything I’ve felt before
My god these days taste bland
The grey paint is peeling off my hands
Still they never come clean
My god, she knows I am so close
She knows I have every color at my fingertips
She knows because she gave them to me
And yet I choose to paint in this grey color-scheme
And it will be my choice to see the world
In vibrant colors again

Why am I nervous?
Walking down the street
Getting into my car
Walking down the isle in a grocery store
Remember always, don’t ever park far
You know you’re the kind of girl men will adore
Martial arts, spend the money
Promise dad I’ll try but you know
Nothing will change men’s hunger for honey
It’s not just the boys that call out from their cars
Or the old men that stumble home from the bars
It’s the man who asks for help with a plan for the night
And steps into the elevator, a situation just right
It’s an old friend who you just knew you could trust
And never would have guessed that family love to be lust
It’s the tutor that had stuck by you for years
That taught you to learn and to conquer your fears
Who says wow you’ve grown, you’re more full than before, and your clothes fit much tighter
Again that was four years before
Ironic when it turns out the final lesson he taught
Was to never assume a man to be who you thought

When do we stop making excuses for people
Letting their pasts and parents
Explain why their hearts aren’t as warm
Where do we draw the line between
Who someone is
And who they can become
You can’t erase someone’s scars and
You can’t give them the love
That should have come from a parent
You can’t go back
And nurture them as a child
Or teach them the importance of empathy
When do we realize as a lover
That a person will only change if they decide to
And that it is not our job to fix them
Instead of working to re-shape the person I want
I will find the man who knows who he is
Who knows kindness and has grown from his pain
And someday I will raise the man
That no woman will have to make excuses for