We are getting older.
And the adventures we didn't partake
Are barren to the memory yet vividly clear.
Dare I say, unbearably so.
I ask not of god, but instead to the phantom me that I will never see...
To be swift with his blade and blessing.
May he cleave me in two,
Spilling my blood upon the dessert sands
And pick from it
The fragments of mine soul.

I'm introduced like a champion,
So that is what I will be.
I will be humanity's champion
and every champion's humanity.
I will be what you ask me to
So long as it is something that I can become.
I'm eager to jump in,
But am afraid of the things I've heard
Regarding it's depths.
But that's just it...
I don't even know what it is.
So many whispers in the day light
To let you know what it's going to be like.
Let's forget tomorrow,
And look forward to yesterday.
I've forgotten what I was supposed to forget.
And now I'm back in bed
Where I was last month.
Wishing I was invisible
Standing on highway 94.

My hands have fallen from grace.
And my mind has followed.
I've wasted time,
In an attempt to wish it back.
I've traveled the sea less than once.
And I regret not drowning beneath its salty embrace more than zero.
There is something wrong with my heart...
And yet I let it lead me.
Guiding me ever onwards,
Towards the edge of the paper.
Towards the edge of all that I have ever known.
But little by little,
And with a small leap of faith...
I begin to realize
That that's where the fun begins!
And like the rising sun,
It dawns on me,
That maybe
The comforting embrace
Of mine own grace...
Wasn't the place to grow.

The pressure is finite,
Yet we wait for its bite.
Letting Time seed itself into thought.
Watching it grow to a fault within already suffocating memories.
Tasting the flavor of its rotten decay,
When all else is gone and lost.
Avoiding the touch of a mentality separate from our own.
Only because we reach out and connect with nothing but emptiness.
Witnessing our flesh pass through the colors of our savior's soul.
Tainting their existence with the blackness of our own.
Desperately waiting for the desire to want to change.
From who we were.
From who we are.
And with eyes wide shut,
Wanting to change ourselves from what we are going to become.
Holding tightly to every breath we breathe,
For a fear of letting it evolve into the next one.
And the next one.
And the next one.
Ultimately choking ourselves for a reason we cannot fathom.
Yet knowing it to be a muscle memory we cannot overcome.
From a life long past we scream into the dust that buried us.
Cursing our parents for dying before we flew.
And in the end...
Understanding fully well that we are here if for no other reason,
Than to break ourselves on rocks we cannot see,
And were never really there in the first place.

We live and we die.
We go and we try.
And the point of life,
Is that there is no point.
So call yourself a hero,
Because no one else will ever mean it more than you.
Get up and dance with your imagination,
For it wastes no time in moving on.
And if you have to look in the mirror one last time,
Remember that it is okay to cry.
To be human.
To be alive,
And feel a pain worth changing.

It's funny what you do to me...
You see,
I smile at you to give you a courtesy,
And when you smile back,
Mine gets stuck on my face for the rest of the day.
And when I look at you,
My vocabulary grows wings and flies away.
And all I'm left with are a whole bunch of ums and buts.
And when I glance at yours,
My heart hits itself in the face.
And my brain goes boom.
Boom like a rocket goes fast.
And loud like the silence I can only think of afterward.
And given that you leave to say hello at another time,
I feel odd to watch you go.
And then I get mad at my lips,
For not dancing like I wanted them to.
And OH NO,
That's not the end of it!
You leave me to carry my knees,
And bite my toes.
I look at you and see something new.
I look at you...
And I don't feel so blue.

This existence is a drug,
And I intend to overdose.

Life will break you.
And then reshape you.
Get ready to stand back up
Because we still love you.

Simple as that...
Im as dead as the rat.

Where the rain
Splits in two
Just to hit you twice.

So many trees.
With so many different shapes and sizes
Standing next to one another in peace.
In loving harmony with the soil and the sun.
...
Why can we not do the same?

In a system like this
there are meant to be losers.

Why do you think I exist?

Shake well
Before opening.
After opening,
Keep refrigerated.

I am afraid of falling asleep.
For a fear of dreaming,
Of endless stars that I cannot count.
All in a rush to get to the end of time.
Where life takes its toll and knocks me out.

Live for living.
And die for dying.

I am home and abroad.
Alone wherever I may be, yet free all the same.
I wonder how my memory will come to pass from this world.
And if all the rumors were true in the end.
I hear melodies from far away amongst the stars.
But sometimes I forget to sing them.
I see into the histories written upon my arms.
And if I'm not careful, I may fall once again.
I am home and abroad.
Alone wherever I may be, yet free all the same.

I pretend only in the entertainment of nothingness.
For infinity is where I divide my time.
I feel naked and lost.
Blind to myself, but still in the womb of the world.
I touch the faces of gods and men in a storied darkness.
Trying to find an answer to the questions I have not asked yet.
I worry about the time I tinker with.
Setting it aside to watch it crumble as I leave.
I cry for the words that have fallen out of existance.
Felled or fumbled by an act of disdain.
I am home and abroad.
Alone wherever I may be, yet free all the same.

I understand nothing.
Not even my beliefs.
I say something for the sake of saying it.
And may that be a plea to heed the words I speak.
I dream of waking up.
With a mind wide open.
I try for a brighter tomorrow.
So that I can make my parents proud.
I hope for a humanity that I cannot seem to boast.
Finding myself to be stuck halfway through forever.
I am home and abroad.
Alone wherever I may be, yet free all the same.

I whisper my contempt to the dark
And wait patiently for its response.
For some reason, long ago
When I thought it was okay to spend my life alone,
I wallowed not in the mercy of pitiful things...
But now they are all that I have.
And I hold them close
As my memory of daylight fades against the wall.

There are many wonderous things in this Universe.
And there is a song for each and every one of them.
What is your melody?
What song sings in you?

I will cry for however long the world allows me.
And when I'm done,
I take hold of the hand that life provides me.
And when I'm done,
I see just how lonely,
I don't have to be.

I write now,
A poem of fathomless love.
And you
Are its focus.

I want to say that it's all an illusion.
That it's all... Irrelevant...


But there you are.

Holding up my reality.

*******...
For making me love you.
*******...
For making me hate you.

I am not lost,
And I am not without poetry.
Because you give me direction,
And you are why I breathe.

I know his pain.
And he knows mine.
He is the best friend I will ever have.
This sits forefront in my mind,
As he spills the essence of his soul,
Into the sink below.
I look into his eyes,
As he begins to cry.
Disgust and shame,
Written on his face.
With words unsaid,
I raise my hand to his, and hold it.
Just like no one ever had.
I tell him "Everything will be alright."
But he doesn't listen.
He does not want to hear what I have to say.
And as much as it kills me...
I understand why he turns away.

Blank pages stare up at me
Waiting ever so ******* patiently
For me to write something stupid and forgetful.

I am who I am,
Because I am who I am!
Anything different,
And I might not be that way.

Give it a rest William.
She isn't here.
Let her go.
She deserves a good life,
a fulfilling life.
She deserves a life as beautiful as she is.
Lay the memory of her to rest.
Place the memory of her down at the bedrock of your soul,
but do it gently.
She deserves more than you.
She deserves more than you could ever give.
She deserves more than you could ever be.
Let her go William.
Set her free.

There is a voice in my head.
A teeny tiny voice,
That whispers in my ear.
All the stupid little things,
Any sane person wouldn't want to hear.
But if you listen closely,
And pay attention...
It's lies turn to a truth you could swear by.
And it's utterances become lessons to live by.

I'm still worried about my acne at 25.
Maybe it's stress...
Or bad diet...
Or both.

I'm not tall.
And I'm not long.
Short enough to make a difference in either direction.
Knowledgeable enough to learn.
Patient enough for ease.
Willing enough to be me.

I look forward to habit,
Like a habit.

To experiment and in two turn, implement.

We can be.
We are.
And, we have been.

I anticipate this ten fold feeling
Thousands of times.

You were placed on my path for a reason.

If for this emotion and nothing else...
Then I embrace it in full for as long as it takes.
Yet if you want me to pray,
Know that I beg it to take me away.

Thanks to me for bringing myself to a place where I can say...
Thank you.

You.

One of the few lovely souls
That I was ever willing to let be a part of me.

You must come to understand
That my eyes don't work like they used to.

I see not just somebody.
I see you,
Through your beautiful stained glass windows,
To the infinite beyond.

May you relearn to look in the mirror as I see you.

Because I see you.

Only you.

One-liners,
When all you really needed,
Were two.
With a little more heart.

I see your palm outstretched
Awaiting and expecting my own.
So I reach out my hand
Only to discover,
That time itself has stopped.
Yet even so, I press onward
To push my mind and body
Through all seasons,
And every weather.
And as my hand touches yours...
An electric current stops my heart.

And then you turn to look at me.

And I'm okay again.

Same as I was
When I died,
Just a moment ago.

As I walked by,
There was a crack in the wall,
Shaped like a heart.
And I laughed at the irony.

Just make it to tomorrow.
So that you can make it to tomorrow.
So that you can make it to tomorrow.
So that you can make it to tomorrow.

I see the melancholy in your smile.
And I wonder,
And I hope,
And I dream,
It's because of me.


No, not because I wish to see you suffer...

But because you are the reason for mine.