Do you like it when I tell you my deepest thoughts?
That I fling them into cyberspace;
That I so yearn to be exposed
Stripped and shamed
I will tell you whence they came?

Do you like it when I share with you my darkest dreams?
That I rummage through them carefully,
That I so yearn to be known
Deep and sweet
I will hold them up for you to see.

Do you like it when I call to you, expecting no response?
Knowing you are silently aware.
Not hearing any whispers
In my heart,
Nor pretending on your part.

I thought never aging would be a blessing,
But it's a curse under cover
The fact is time means nothing to me now.
I can't look for you, or seek you out
You might as well be dead to me now
In you grave with a headstone saying:
"here lies a man who waited for his beloved"
For you will always be aging, and I am immortal
It is a horrible truth and it breaks my heart, more than it breaks yours
For I am stuck with the terrible truth of my mistake
For the rest of my eternity

Oh how precious are your thoughts of me (they are more than all the grains of sand)
And how you sing for me (i can hear it in my heart)
How you dance, wen you hear my name (will you dance with me one day?)
Teach me all of your ways, all of your thoughts (so they can be mine from the heart)

I will hold on to everything that tells me how beautiful you are
Keep me close to your heart, for i will keep you close to mine

Maybe tonight is forever
What if this is all we have
Maybe this feeling is eternity
And your eyes are seas that have no depth
Maybe I was meant to feel this way
And you were meant to hold me
Kiss me
Love me
Maybe
Maybe this is a dream
No grasp of reality at all
Maybe my broken heart was just me dying
And this has all happened in the moment between life and death
Maybe it’s just a swell dream, and maybe I’ll wake up soon
And maybe when I do I’ll forget it all
Forget your name
Forget your touch
Forget the way you changed me
And maybe I’ll smile again

You are, to me, like a spider.
When I move I can feel
your web tighten around me.

I am, to you, like a puppet,
You push, pull,
and I react.

You are, to others, nothing special,
Another face in the crowd,
A print in the sand.

You are, to me, blinding,
Startling and magic.
My vision dances when I look away.

I am, to you,
Expendable.
Unfortunate.
Ignorable.

To hate the person with whom you lay is grotesque feeling.
As I lay next to you my skin crawls...the hair on the nape of my neck stands
Our spirits repel each other like the strongest of magnets
And I can feel my hate for you growing...
Yet every night there's only one place to find me...
Next to you

The darkness that surrounds me
battles my fair skin.
I stand out, not meant to be here
but aware of the reasons.
Others wander around me, ignorant of my story
they pierce my soul with pointed fingers.
They blame, scold, and criticize me.
No one reaches out, no one to lead me through this dark abyss
of life.
I am not like them. I am conscious to what I have done.
My actions have lead me down this path,
my thoughts, the war within my mind.
I continue to walk, lacking regret
as the light fades behind me.