I loved you for as long as I did.
I loved you for as long as I could.

Yet it mattered not in the least.

It never did.
It never could.

I've seen what is behind your mask.

You may not know it,
but you let it fall away
when we are alone.

I've seen your sorrow,
that grows ever steadily towards tomorrow.

I've seen the strife,
of how much you hate your life.

Yet...
I've also seen your heart,
and all the love it can impart.

You have no clue,
do you?

How easily my heart breaks.

How easily it shatters.

At the thought of loosing you.

Things that were not supposed to happen,
have happened.

And things that were supposed to,
have not.

And indeed,
such is the way of this world.

I don't know where I'm going.
I barely remember where I've been.

Tomorrow scares me.
Just like yesterday had.

Living in the moment seems...

Irrational.
Illogical.
Impossible.

But not doing so,
seems even more so.

I am afraid of today.
Afraid to live a dying life.
Each day,
and each night,
I hold on to a chance
that I could die a death worth living.

Here I am,
under pale blue skies,
talking to you again
up here in my head.

What seems to be
worlds apart.

Wanting nothing less
than Universes.

Yet I'm utterly aware
that the distance is merely miles.

Cursing every moment,
every pretended word,
every fleeting image.

Only because
I love it so.

Imagining us together...

Holding hands and exchanging vows.

Kissing and consummating.

To passionately conceive.
And to birth a passion.

To raise it,
and love it,
and watch it grow.

For us as well...
To grow old,
and love one another all the same.

And in it's own time,
to die at your side.

But for all it's worth,
to live a life worth living,
with you.

Yes, indeed.
Imagining us together...
It does not scare me.

Not one bit.

Not when I look at you.