I have read,
once upon a time
somewhere,
sometime,
that I'm supposed to tell you
how I feel about you.

And I begin to think
that he who wrote what I read,
did not have me in mind when he did.

For in my outlook,
you are so far beyond words
that it is almost a sin
to try.

So when I shut off reason
and say what I need to say
before it kills me...

Please know,
that I was once told
to tell you how I feel about you.

Even if it drives you away.

I planted a plant once,
without knowing.
I could not see it,
for it was metaphoric.
But when I was informed of its presence,
I watered it with the best efforts that I could muster.

And I soon forgot,
That I was blind to it.

Blind to how much water it needed.

Blind to which way it leaned.

And blind to how ill it had become.

Needless to say,
that I killed it.

Now,
all I wish,
is that I had it back,
to the way it was before.

So that I could try again,
and grow a forest
from something that was once dead.

This dark room is my life.
It is all that I have ever known.

In it,
I am blind to who I truly am,
and I prefer it this way.

I thought it was safe.
I thought it was solid.
I was wrong.

It cracked,
It broke,
and it shattered.

Down,
down,
down it came.

Amongst the rubble of my solitude,
my home,
here I stand.

A monster among men.

Let me imply
that if I'm to die,
it will be on my own terms.

I insist,
need be even with my fist,
that I tie the noose myself.

My foot
will give its input
to the bucket.

And for a single moment
I will be buoyant
among atoms of air.

In the next I will fall,
with my shadow against the wall.

My feet will never again touch the floor.

The rope whispers one last twang
as I hang.

Eyes loose luster.

My life has burnt like Magnesium.

Fast and bright,
like the speed of light.

I am standing on the edge of a cliff,
with arms outstretched to the wind.

Beneath me, crash the waves of the unknown.

Within me, clash the waves of uncertainty.

My heart urges me to jump,
because it is blind to the signs of risk.

Yet my mind longs for me to stay,
because it is deaf to the shouts of reward.

So I do what any sensible man would do...

I flip a coin
and chase it over the edge of the world
to find the answer.

It is the shadow
that walks beside you.

It is the boogeyman
that waits under your bed.

It is the monster in the closet
that watches silently as you sleep.

It is the shiver down your spine
that leaves the air around you cold.

It is the "tick" of the clock
that wakes you up in the middle of the night.

It is the lonely howl of the wolf in a frozen winter,
that echos through the dark dead forest.

It is the silence of the tall mountain
that blocks all light from the world.

It is the lasting quiet of the room at night
that makes you pull the covers over your head.

It is your ultimate fear.
And it never leaves your side.

It is your harbinger
that will deliver you
into a cold
everlasting
black.

Long has been this night.
With the wind
and it's freezing white.

Long has been this night.
With the moon
and all it's gleaming light.

Long has been this night.
With the dark
and all it's endless might.

Long has been this night.
With the silence
and it's unrelenting bite.