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2d · 31
Two in One
I wish you could see my thoughts.
To be inside my head,
When the world gets way too much
And I don't get out of bed.

I wish you could feel my pain
To know what it's like to be me
When life seems like death
And it's all I feel and see.

I wish you could cry my tears
To try to stop this endless flow
When my heart seems like it's breaking
And my life feels so **** low.

I wish you could forget for me
All the trauma I've endured
When the night goes on forever
And my mind is so obscured.

I wish you could be just like me
As I stare into my mirror
The hardest thing I have to do
Is to learn how to forgive her.
It's funny how my outside can laugh and smile while my inside is screaming and dying.
Jan 9 · 67
Sleep
Laurel Selby Jan 9
When I wake, I feel weighted
Weighted down,
Waiting for life.
When I wake I feel lost
Losing time losing memories.
When I wake I want sleep,
Sleeping dreams make it right.
Jan 4 · 573
Fragile
Laurel Selby Jan 4
A fragile mind knows born to lose
A fragile mind has internal pain
A fragile mind is forever anxious
A fragile mind has demons no one can tame
A fragile mind sees  what most miss
A fragile mind hears the whisper of love
A fragile mind can dance to silence
A fragile mind knows of beauty within
A fragile mind lives strengths unmeasured
A fragile mind shall stand to exist.
Jan 1 · 488
Alone
Laurel Selby Jan 1
The void of emptiness
The black of night
The sound of silence
My soul takes flight

The questions asked
The fights re-lived
The fact I'm broken
My soul takes flight

The love that's lost
The time unshared
The signs of stress
My soul takes flight

The tiresome thoughts
The preempt plans
The truth of loneliness
My soul takes flight

Foretold is a saying that holds the control
They say when in trauma your soul just knows
To stop all the thoughts running round in your head,
To protect oneself mentally so you don't wind up dead.
Your soul chooses for you fight or flight as they say,
So I sit and I wait for the choice of the day.
For so many years the choice was to fight,
Leaving me tired and empty all day and all night.
My soul wears the scars so deep yet so clear,
Fight or flight brings me loneliness,
My one deepest fear.

Laurel Selby
01/01/2025
I lost my dad to cancer 23 days ago, I miss him so much, my head is heavy, my heart hurts.
Laurel Selby Dec 2024
Spotify
Discman
Walkman and Boombox
Four things in common
Is the music they play
Songs that you love
Loop over and over again
Songs to uplift, songs to mend hearts
Songs you can headbang to or move all body parts.
Music you play all to yourself,
No need to be embarrassed when it's only oneself.
To dream, sing and dance no rules to abide
Feeling that beat down deep inside
Ohh how the world so easily disappears
As soon as I place these phones in my ears...

6/7/24
Music is Life, without it I would be a long time....
Dec 2024 · 64
Why am I the bad one.
Laurel Selby Dec 2024
He came into my life 12 yrs ago,
A wall of destruction, a life without a pulse
A toxicity that filled my veins head and heart
The worst comedown in my 41yrs
was rehabbing you out of my mind
Today I am free but our child does bind
She didn't see the alcohol fuelled vile
You spat in my face year after year
the touch ups the tears
The broken lives that filled this house
She only sees her dad, her pedestal is high
Today was your day as I kissed her goodbye
But tonight I am filled with so much anger for you
For her I give my strength to endure the lifetime ahead
Promises made and as broken as I
placed your evil look in my baby's eyes
Instead of kisses hello mum and a hug
I got abuse attitude and hatred tonight

Because of you,
I AM THE BAD ONE


29/03/2012
I had never spoken ill to my daughter regarding her father, she is now 22 and has a beautiful mind of her own.
Dec 2024 · 306
Farewell
Laurel Selby Dec 2024
I've cried all my tears the well is dry
Let's not make this hard we can't deny
It's time to move on
No more years we should waste
Good times are remembered
though bitter-sweet we both taste
I must let you go for insanity rears
I have finally put to rest all of my fears
I am stronger in heart mind body and soul
Without you I must find my own self control
The path I have chosen, my decision to make
You lost that right long ago with the road you did take.
Goodbye to you, I wish you nothing but well,  Finally I am free from my own private hell.

14/2/2012
I wrote (just realised the date!!) this after leaving a domestic violence relationship of 12 years, it took another 8years to stop being scared.
Dec 2024 · 69
Johnny's Anniversary Poem
Laurel Selby Dec 2024
The table is older and faded so the time between shows
The scenery a little different, less the chairs still in their rows
The drinks are down by one now,  and so our tears do flow
Our hearts cry out for justice
That only karma knows
The void that's left now your not here,
Is the same in size of all our fears
That solemn day comes once a year,
The day you left, one filled of tears
So tears do flow, when the sun does rise
For the 1st of June is when we said goodbye,
Forever in our hearts they say, not a day shall pass as well
For me my heart is shattered and my eyes an endless well.
The grief I feel near every day
has not wavered in its pain,
Your death is still so **** surreal
My tears I cannot tame.
Nothing has brought you back
No wishing on the stars
No begging Jesus' sweetly
Will ever heal my scars
The first of June  I lost you
From two brothers down to one
Tomorrow marks the day our boy
When your forever 41


31/05/2023
Written for my little brother Johnny tragically taken from us 01/06/2020
Nov 2024 · 23
Death without Warning
Laurel Selby Nov 2024
Death without warning embraced my brother.
Now silently, painfully stealing another.
For now it's my dad, not long for this earth
So clear in his eyes how he questions his worth.
Creatures of habit as we humans are,
Death and dying seems to be so afar
Why don't we stop,
hold our loved ones so tight,
Not believing that death
will come creeping one night,
Because we feel so invincible
That time is just a clock on the wall.
Everything put off, due to love, due to hate.
Whatever the reason time does not wait.
I may not be the first to say this
I certainly won't be the last,

"Please make time for your family, don't wait till they pass"

For death without warning will appear in your night
Embracing your loved one into the light.



Laurel Selby
12/8/24
My dad was diagnosed with cancer throughout his Lymph nodes as well a rare aggressive bone cancer in July 2024, dad passed away 9th December 2024.
My dad Ron Selby was a founding member of the Australian Bush Poets, my dad was my world and I miss him greatly.

— The End —