It's 3am, the vodkas gone and I've been out dancing.
I've been looking at the other boys but all I thought about was you.
Stumbling home I wonder if you'll be in.
Or are you out drinking, snorting and ******* again?
You meet me at the door with an offering of water, food a hug?
I love it when you crawl.
I love it when you beg.
I just love it when you want me.
You tell me I look pretty, that you've missed me and have been waiting.
You wonder if I've spoken to other boys, ****** them or have I been dating?
You don't deserve my words, my reassurances.
I will never tell you that all I think about is you.
All I want to do is curl up in your lap and have you stroke away every stress.
I miss being your cat.
But you found a new ***** to stroke if only for one night.
My territories been tainted, she sprayed you and I can't get out the smell.
You take me in your arms and I let you.
To feel your skin on mine makes me whole.
I miss you, I want you but I hate you for what you did.
It's too late for moral objections, I need to feel connected.
Lips on lips, caressing with eager finger tips.
I am wet, I am ready, and then we are one, I am whole, I am filled with you.
I think of her, I think of you. Together in this way.
Did she feel better then me?
Are you thinking of her now?
My fingers turn to claws and I mark you with my rage.
Was she tighter, better, slimmer?
I am downgraded, I am less, I am not good enough.
I reach for you throat as you ****** above and glare into your eyes.
"Call me Kate."
"Call me Kate."
"Call me by her name."
You try to kiss me into silence but I am persistent.
You lean down and whisper her name in my ear.
Again! Again! ******* call me it again!
I am me and I am her. I feel sick but God does this feel good.
We both reach that point of no return with her name upon your lips and I wonder where we go from here...