Sorry for contacting but my mind is in overdrive ...

The fact that you randomly met some woman, the first to give you attention since we met and you slept with her...Does that mean you would have done the same thing at any time if someone had just given you the attention? Were you kissing before you even left the social so you knew what would happen when you got back to hers? Did you make the first move? You obviously found her attractive and wanted to **** her. Did you fancy her more then me? Am I that unattractive to you is that why you never wanted ***, could never get hard but you could **** her? Did you cuddle her afterwards? Was it actually in our house, in our bed? Did she stay for breakfast? Are you lying about the full entirety of the story? Do you still have her number? Did you *** in her? What if she's pregnant? When you had *** with me on the Tuesday did you think of her? How could you stick your ***** diseased **** in me knowing what you had done and what you could be passing onto me? Did you find it funny that you had ****** somebody else but you were acting so normal with me? Did you wish you had kept contact with her so you could do it again? Do you think of her when you're with me? Is this something you'll just do over and over again now because you're a lying cheating *******?

This isn't just the main thing. Since I met you you have been a druggy and you have spent years, actual years now lying to me and taking drugs secretly. Snorting away your money, snorting away your friends and snorting away me. You haven't just lied and kept your ***** little **** secret for a week you've kept this to yourself for years. What else are you lying about? You're very good at it. Convincing. I felt like I have trusted you always but really you've been taking me for a stupid idiot for years, lying to my face repeatedly over and over again. Who are you! Who the **** are you! You're still lying. Are you ever going to change? Do you even want to?

You say we can get over this, that everything will be better now. How can I even contemplate getting back with you when everything before has been a constant lie, a constant struggle. I will not get back with a druggy, a liar and now a ******* cheat! How can I ever trust you? How can you ever prove yourself? You've said all of this before, all of these words of change. I will not even contemplate thinking about being with you until you can show in some way that you're actually helping yourself.