Tired of the lies
Tired of the weakness I feel inside
So many years
So much time
Effort to just get fcked
Wouldn't it be my luck
Lucky enough to fall in love with my best friend
Took me three years to let you in
Didn't immediately allow the love to flow
Scared to lose a friend
But ended up gaining a lover
3 years together and you made me a mother
Beautiful daughter
Smart as fck
Then you started fcken up
The lies just to get what you want
What was the purpose
Of making me happy to play me like a game
Being in love wasn't enough in your brain
I'm tired of the mistrust and hurt
I don't think I will ever love again
But why did you do this to me , my best friend ?
Why does it feel like I belong in your arms but you hurt me and drive me insane ?
Why does it feel like regardless of all the games when we touch we are meant to stay ?
No one attracts me in any which way
But I'm letting go of all ties
I never want to get hurt with all the lies
Time heals all they tell me
All the same
How can you forget someone who impacted your life in so many dramatic ways . . .
Staying strong and never looking back cause what the heart wants hurts me real bad . .

Why do I still fcken care
I see you in my dreams
I see you everywhere
Your eyes , your lips pink
Your caramel skin
Oh how you know me so well
You spit a couple of words and touch my skin
And my skin fcken burns
Full of passion and desire
I lose it all completely
You kiss my body like you admire every piece of it
From my forehead to my toes
Slowly working your way around me with your nose
Kissing me slightly
Something inside me wakes up
With every bit of your soft touch
How can forgetting you be something I was willing to do from the jump
This feeling I feel I never felt before
No one was irreplaceable
Everyone was easily discard
But with you . . . I believe I'm still in love .  .

I was hurt
It wasn't nothing new
Something I should be use to
something I should be already use too
I ignore the signs and lies
And just stare into your honey brown eyes
Mesmerized I give in
Letting your sweet kisses poison me
Oh how you've frozen me
I'm stuck on the past yet currently in the present
I'm stuck on the future with white picketed fences . . .