Help,
I'll say it
but only in my mind.
I need help,
but that
will never be said.
They go on,
while I'm slowly
losing control.
The pain I cause
on others,
I'll inflict on myself.
not for attention,
but as punishment.

without love
I feel empty inside
and over time
it makes me want to die
they'll call the cops
when they find my note
while I'm in the sea of shame
without a life boat

Can you remember
when you were little
that one person
who made you
not want to trust anyone
ever again
who ripped your innocence apart
you remember don't you?
you are lucky in a way...
cause I don't,
I have little flash backs
but as i get older
they start to blur,
so I don't know if that really happened to me, or if I made it up.

"who are you" she'll say.
"where are you" she says as she looks into my eyes...
"what are you" she says cause she see's nothing, in my eyes.
"say it again... I might hear you this time" I reply

I've been holding for so long,
Guess it’s time to fly.
With memories I leave my mark,
It’s time to say goodbye.

Running away isn't an option,
Fear has gripped me tight.
Hiding away from my fears,
Dying just feels so right.

It’s hard to breathe right now,
Feels like I'm dying inside
In this void called existence,
Fear and death collide.

I don’t wish to live any more,
Let my soul Rust in Peace,
Let me sink in the sea of darkness,
Oblivion is what I seek.

Let me burn in this flame of hatred,
Your love’s made me weak,
Solitude is what I desire,
Oblivion is what I seek...
                                                     (M.m.)

let me be who I am
let me show you who I am
oh, you don't care
cause if I remember
you said you loved me
but when people found out
you hid and you lied
... you made me cry,
but I guess it is strange
since we're both girls.

don't question me
because you think I have the answers
don't fear me
because I seem strange
don't assume you know me
because of what I choose to tell you.

we're together again,
like many times before,
and I'm left wondering,
how I messed things up,
So I can keep you,
from no longer wanting me...
like before.

My mind is falling apart
with the time it takes,
to put myself back together
another thing will break,
So it really doesn't matter.

They think I'm weird
but I'm not scared
so loud, when they compare
to a girl, who's heart
and soul are damaged,
beyond repair
so they don't see
what she knows
when they won't believe
They'll start to talk
she drowns them out
beyond it all
she isn't there
somewhere else
her mind will wander
till she hears
the crash of thunder.

A butterfly can't be killed by a flower.

The girl in front of me
Says such wonderful things
But I wish
She was beside me
Holding my hand
With her lovely smile
And her eyes lighting up
With every word she says
But then again
She's not ready for this
So I'll wait
'Cause just being near her
Is enough for me...

What is it like,
                         to be free?

I don't want to be alone.
i want to be needed,
to be depended on,
for someone to be there for me,
to make friends with my demons.
For them to hold me close,
and calm with the sound of their beating heart.
I need to feel like I belong,
like I'm normal...
  I just don't want to be alone, anymore.

It's late... talk to me.

She made me cry
because I didn't know
it was all a lie
love is what she said
not knowing
it was all in my head.

Did you say that you love me?
The things that I've been struggling for,
it's okay to just **** them all?
As the we, as the me that you hate,
is it okay to just love each other?
When I'm with someone else,
I feel nothing.
And this isn't what they call destiny,
but just a fading
                             fading
                                           love.

Ask...
Ask away!

When I want to talk
about the little things
About the almost nothing's
About the time of day...
Or if it will come my way

I write because
I don't know
What I think
Until I read
What I say