Thoughts traverse my mind
As I walk the road home,
Steps mindlessly taken forward.
By myself, but not alone.

Kept company by my thoughts
About today, about tomorrow,
Of my actions of yesterday
Filled of happiness, or of sorrow.

Have I done what I could?
Is what I've done, what I should?
Should I have done what I did?
Why was I so cringe as a kid.

Given a chance for a life do-over,
Would I make the same choices again?
If I change some things, will I do better?
Or will it be for naught; in vain.

What should I do tomorrow?
Would it still be the same as today?
Am I doing what I want in life?
Or am I wasting it all away?
Am I just going to be stuck here forever?
Existing but so monotonously
Or can I live with the consequences of doing what I want,
And let things be?


Oh this thoughts, they walk with me.
Unrelenting, everyday, constantly.
On the road home, directions known with certainty,
I walk lost in dysphoric reverie.

but i cannot be
for i am not free
i am shackled
by people's expectations, the responsibility
to make them happy
to make them feel not hurt
even in times when i feel like dirt.
Even when i'm down,
i cannot be me
because, only as dirt can i help them grow
to help them heal
to make them feel loved and appreciated
for their need for validation to be constantly satiated
only as dirt, can i help them bloom
to be the person they need to be.
Son. Lover. Brother. Friend.
i am always another
but i am never me.