Caleb John

Caleb John Dec 2018

Test

If everyone I loved hated me

If everyone abused me and hurt me

If everyone I loved died in front of me

If everything I ever cared about was ripped from me

If I had no more fight left to give

Would I still love you Father?

So many people that I love are being left out to dry

I know you forge us in fire

Sometimes the fire burns

So many are being beaten and abused

Father I know that this isn't you

Father I wish that it was me instead of them

Dear God all I can tell anyone that comes to me is this

"How much heat is your faith able to take?"

Sometimes I have to tell myself

It's you over everything

HOW MUCH HEAT IS IT GONNA TAKE FOR MY FAITH TO MELT!!

Dear Jesus I tried so hard to run but God wouldn't let me

How far would those I love go before they forsake you?

Dear Jesus cling to them

Dear Father don't let go

Father, the only way we can stand the test is with you

Caleb John Dec 2018

Whispers of Stars

You whispered

And the Stars came into existence

It's beautiful

Caleb John Dec 2018

You Answered

I thought I was done

Dying

Lying

You pushed all the demons away

You ripped the sword from my chest like Arthur and the sword in the stone

My weakness was shone

When you pulled that sword I could breathe again

I remember breathing with relief

You came when I called

You answered

Caleb John Dec 2018

I Called

I screamed

Broken and out of options

Tired of wearing a mask

Broken

Beaten

And bruised

I had nothing left

I was tired

My pain was spent

My blood was running like a river with a sword stabbed through my chest

Caleb John Dec 2018

How?

How could you love a sinner like me?

You know the things I've done

You know it all and still love me

But how could I know this and try to push you away?

You created a universe

You created an Earth with nearly 8 billion inhabitants and still you find time for me

I know I'm not worthy of it

But you made me worthy through your son

You make the rise and setting of the sun

How could I push you away?

I thought I was too far deep

I thought a standard was required of me and I couldn't fill it

I tried to run and hide

Then I realized that without my relationship with you all I felt was death

You said you'd always love me no matter what

I still can't believe how far Jesus went for me

But forgive me for my faults

I'm the chief of sinners

But maybe that's why you saved me

Was to show just how far you could reach and how far your love could span

Yet I know as far as I've run

I know it couldn't scratch the surface of your eternal love

I hope my salvation reveals your Glory

not mine

You used me to show your love and you allowed me to be a part of the salvation of others

But none of it was ever me

It was all you

Because my hands were on the wheel I would've crashed

I wouldn't even be here

I don't know how I could ask you this but...

Take this life and make a message...

Caleb John Dec 2018

Surface

I wish I was who they saw

"Someone Important" is what they say

My friends only see one side of me

Some spiritual person who gives advice

I wish these skeletons were ripped out of the closet

If they knew what you knew

They wouldn't want anything to do with me

They would turn their head in disgust

Ok

Maybe they wouldn't but I wish they would

Because I can't even look at myself in the mirror without wanting to spit

I wish they saw more then the surface

Cause the higher you raise someone

The higher they can fall

I realize my voice carries farther then I want it to

I don't ever want to sound self righteous like I'm someone who matters

I'm just a filthy bag of bones full of filthy bones

I wish they could see more then the surface

Caleb John Dec 2018

Rally

You let the devil take your joy

You let him rip into your soul with his illusions

You let him take your heart and control it like a puppet

You tried to retreat into your own kingdom thinking the devil spared it

Why do you try to hide when your King is fighting for you

Why did you hand your life to the devil when you were so close

Your King doesn't stand on the sidelines and watch while you fight a pointless battle

We're not cattle

So pick up your sword and rally

Rally to the King who already won!

Stand beside your God and King who stands beside you