My mind is swirling
These thoughts aren't mine
Where did they come from
When did I cross this line

Aloneness rattles
Like an old rusty cage
When did I lose everything
Who turned that page

Life like a book
Is full of new chapters
Some full of sadness
Some full of laughter

This new chapter open
The old chapter closed
I'm lost in this moment
The clock hands have froze

I'm in control
Of my own destiny
The anchor chains broken
Going forward through the sea.

Thousands of miles
And four hours away
Somebody stopped and watched you playing your music
And said,
"Thank you for smiling."
And I finally discovered
What I should have said to you
The moment I first met you.

All the hurting I do
Wondering and worrying
If I'll ever feel the warmth of your sunlight again,
It's all about that,
It's all
Because I am just afraid
You'll never smile at me again.
It doesn't make sense,
It's not explainable.
It's a happiness I have never felt before
And do not expect
To feel very often in my turbulent life.
It is a joy that stops the mind,
Save for one thought:
Don't
Go.
It's what that man saw
Walking by.

Maybe that man is sad.
Maybe his life has him down,
And he hates his job,
Or he is fighting with his wife,
Or his dog just died.
Or maybe it's even worse.
Maybe that man
Has just had the worst years of his life
Drag him helpless behind them
To hit the ground hollow over and over
Like a tin can dangling from a dingy car bumper on the highway.
Maybe he has only just
Stood up again.
You don't know.
How brilliant, you don't know!
Because he could be any of those things,
But you
Made him smile.
You
Gave him hope.
You
Had such an effect on him
With just your smile
That he stopped,
And thanked you.

I wish I had done that when I first saw your face.

Maybe today
You only made that man's good day
A little better.
Or maybe today
Your smile
Saved his **** life.
You have no idea.
That's the point.
I know what that man saw.
I envy him painfully.
I know how it feels
To be smiled at
By you.
All the poems I've written you,
All the nights I've spent sleepless
Afraid to lose the little tiny moment of you I got,
All the time I've set aside for you,
That's why.
I want to thank you
For smiling at me.
If everything from here on in my life
Crumbles like wet chalk
And I lose any chance I might have
To thank you otherwise,
I consider it worth it.
I consider your smile
Worth all of it.