Violet Sea: Poems

Nov 2019 · 343

Three Mice

Violet Sea Nov 2019

Three times
The mice have followed me

Into the woods
Deep into the forest
Where they deny me any more sanity

Because three times
They have followed me
Into darkness

11/12/2019
VS

Nov 2019 · 220

Traveling

Violet Sea Nov 2019

Traveling

Through reluctant times
I am traveling

The unknown is not so mysterious
For I can now see it

Yet the reason why I still travel
Is unclear

And eating at my skin

11/8/19
VS

May 2019 · 171

Treatment Pattern

Violet Sea May 2019

Treatment Pattern

Why can't they just treat me like a human
And not some fascinating machine
That can provide great mystery and
Something to ease the loneliness

I exist and I exist with a heart
One that can be hurt more than
It already is

Why can't God stop trying to reach out
And teach me lessons
With all the people who do this to me

Why can't I be left alone
And experience something I'd like
Something new
And something that won't arise my
Terribly uncomfortable
Suspicions.

5/5/2019
VS

May 2019 · 239

Loud Silence

Violet Sea May 2019

Loud Silence

When I leave myself to be
The silence consumes me
And all my fears
Turn into dust
That can fill my lungs
At any moment

When I don't say a word
The loudness becomes absurd
And all my fears
Devour the moment
That is meant to be cherished
Each and every time

5/4/2019
VS

May 2019 · 152

Tragedy I Desire

Violet Sea May 2019

Tragedy I Desire

it would be beautifully tragic
to share a moment
so intense
so cinematic
and so open
with someone
you will never talk to again
and for that it would be tragic
but knowing them
and them knowing you
after your inner thoughts
you could never tell yourself
has been spoken
would be even more tragic

5/2/2019
VS

May 2019 · 726

people

Violet Sea May 2019

people

sometimes people make me sick
because they expect so much
and do so little for themselves
to stay and see that life can be beautiful
with people who are interesting

5/1/2019
VS

Apr 2019 · 201

Sometimes

Violet Sea Apr 2019

Sometimes

Sometimes
You stumble into a disaster
waiting to happen
you know it will
and you know it does
feel good only for the moment

4/27/19
VS

Apr 2019 · 211

desperation.

Violet Sea Apr 2019

desperation.

would relish greatly the clinging of friends
in a moment of darkness
and loneliness
clinging so much
that i forgot who i am
and what i deserve

4/19/19
VS

Apr 2019 · 180

They Do Not Care!

Violet Sea Apr 2019

They Do Not Care!

Sometimes
People do not care
They leave you alone
When you need someone the most

Sometimes
People do not care
That you are sad
And need a friend
To laugh, to cry, and to feel someone near

Sometimes
People say "there is no way no one cares"
about how you are doing
and who you are

People say that
because they can't relate
that sometimes people do not care
and sometimes
it's often that they don't

4/5/2019
VS

Mar 2019 · 139

disappearing

Violet Sea Mar 2019

disappearing

disappearing
into a dream
where nothing is as it seems
because its rigged in my favor

disappearing
to escape the danger
that everyday brings

leaving all those behind
who sparkle and shine
only because i was there

3/17/2019
VS

Feb 2019 · 193

from the path

Violet Sea Feb 2019

from the path

can you listen to me?
for once
even after I've gone
away

can you ever see me?
in reality
in totality
of who i am?
even after I've gone
astray

2/6/2019
VS

Feb 2019 · 151

trains

Violet Sea Feb 2019

trains

trains have always been
so utterly fascinating
to my existence

the noise they make
to prove their own existence
the sturdy build of their exterior
the glamourous or depressed build
in the inside

all drives to a strong symbol
one that means escape
and beauty
old
and gold

disney made them fascinating
in one way
though upon dsicovery
yet again
a writer has proved them to
be a symbol of yet another
emotion deep inside
of escape
and sorrow

2/6/2019
VS

Feb 2019 · 169

my Life

Violet Sea Feb 2019

my Life

I have tried
To become someone good
Someone ambitious and proud
All that did was leave me on the ground
Sad and complete with despair

What to do with myself next
Is the next quest
In my life...

2/5/2019
VS

Feb 2019 · 220

Disappear

Violet Sea Feb 2019

Disappear

You lead me to a waterfall
Filled with purity and flowers
Draining down the sorrows
From the season

You lead me to a beautiful scenery
Of gardens and clear skies

Now that I am here
You've suddenly left
And everything around me
Is folding back up,
Disappearing...
And taking me with it

2/4/2019
VS

Jan 2019 · 147

Drifted Away with Time

Violet Sea Jan 2019

Drifted Away with Time

When everything was new
I had hope that it would stay
The way I thought you wanted it
The way that I wanted it

With everything now that has changed
I can't help but miss the past
As I want it here again
But better and more everlasting

Though I don't think that is possible now
Because you've drifted away with time
And you didn't want to stay
And enjoy the connections of something Real

1/28/2019
VS

Jan 2019 · 159

Running

Violet Sea Jan 2019

Running

I keep running
While you keep trying to figure me out

Some things are left
Undiscovered
Even from the host of all that is unknown

1/26/2019
VS

Jan 2019 · 130

Process

Violet Sea Jan 2019

Process

Tearing myself down
In public where all can see
They join in as they watch
My own self-image fade

For a reason unknown
For a reason that repeats

Hoping I can yet again
Sprout something new
That will once again
Lead me to disappointment

1/24/2019
VS

Jan 2019 · 418

Feelings

Violet Sea Jan 2019

Feelings

Hard work never truly pays off
When the people you love
Won't show the love back

Trying to escape - yet run back to what
I need

Friends only want to talk
When they need to take a walk
And rant about their drunken ideas
And feelings

As if I myself don't have any feelings
Of my own

1/17/2019
VS

Jan 2019 · 744

Why?

Violet Sea Jan 2019

Why?

What pleasure do they get
From being a bad friend?

Dedicated, I am
To others
But they don't know me
At all

They know nothing of me
Even though I share it all

They push me to the side
Repeatedly
Even when I am overwhelmed
And plagued with pain and sorrow.

1/13/2019
VS

Jan 2019 · 288

The past and illusions

Violet Sea Jan 2019

The past and illusions

I live and see within two dimensions
The past
And the illusions of today

1/5/2019
VS

Jan 2019 · 231

Blooming World

Violet Sea Jan 2019

Blooming World

I am indeed
Overwhelmed by all the great
And intriguing things
About you

My mind doesn't feel the need to
Lie
Or hide
Not yet, at least

I don't want to lie to you
I don't want to hide inside myself
And run

But I don't think your realize this
So alas I must be silent
And wonder for myself
While looking out at the blooming world
Around us

1/4/2019
VS

Jan 2019 · 920

Before the Storm...

Violet Sea Jan 2019

Before the Storm...

I wish you could see
That whenever my world fills
With tranquility
That I am indeed
Waiting to burst
With flammable
Feelings
You can't cure

I wish I could see
The calm before the storm
The up before the down
But alas it fools me as well
With feelings
I can't cure

1/1/2019
VS

Dec 2018 · 184

Woman

Violet Sea Dec 2018

Woman

This is what they mean
I guess
When they say to stand tall
And be a woman about it

I can only hear my ancestors
The women guiding my own soul
There for me, touching my shoulder
Nodding with sympathy

Grow strong
Accept that god set this up
Set this up to tear you down
And try not to drown
As you weep the night away...

12/30/2018
VS

Dec 2018 · 185

Effect of Words

Violet Sea Dec 2018

Effect of Words

The words
They hit me
So hard
I suddenly feel icy coldness
Race throughout my veins

Such sorrow arises
I just want to cry
And fall weak to the floor

The power of words
Can be so confrontational
Why would my mind allow them such power?
When they so commonly are used against me

12/29/2018
VS

Dec 2018 · 169

Ballad of my Life

Violet Sea Dec 2018

Ballad of my Life

❄
I know
No one had cared
and I know now
No one cares

My heart tugs at itself
Desperately wanting
Some closure from the others
Because I can't provide enough

I feel so much for the past
And present of others
Because I know real pain
And I know real suffering

But to keep my own
Past and present covered up
Is what bothers me most
About life

They have always pushed me
Into solitude - just me and the issues
That weren't even my fault to begin with

They keep all my secrets there
But for years and years I've been banging
and Banging on the door
All I've ever wanted is for someone
Just someone
To open it, and at least accept
and Listen
To who I was, Who I am, and Who I strive to Be
❄

12/29/2018
VS

Dec 2018 · 242

I wish ...

Violet Sea Dec 2018

I wish ...

I wish I liked myself
The way I like others

I wish I would look forward
To the events in my own life
As much as I do
The lives on the screen

I wish I could be the way
I always meant to be
Without the tainted hate
Seeping in from others

I wish I liked the world
The way others seem to

12/27/2018
VS

Dec 2018 · 152

Earthquake

Violet Sea Dec 2018

Earthquake

Did it shake the ground
More than my anger did?
After you tried and tried
To push me into something
You wanted?

I bet you felt the ground
Shaking and shaking
All around
And even though I feel
As if you deserve some sort of quaking
Around the life you are sleeping in

I hope you are alright

12/26/2018
VS

Dec 2018 · 359

Self-Sabotage

Violet Sea Dec 2018

Self-Sabotage

Once they know you for too long
They stop caring

Once I know them for too long
I start caring

They turn away and I turn to
I make them walk away
So I can stray alone in my sorrow

Self-sabotage is
The idea that I do this
To myself

They all attack me
Coming from all angles
But they don't wound me
No, only I can do such a thing

They paint a picture
But I enlarge it
Hiding behind the brush
Just to be splattered upon the canvas

Hiding
Screaming
To myself
Would not want to
Disturb the people
I've known for too long....

12/25/18
VS

Dec 2018 · 180

Violet Sea

Violet Sea Dec 2018

Violet Sea

violet sea
arises the violence in me
directed towards everyone
that may cross the path

violet sea
washes away all the possibility
that i too may be
something greater than wrath

12/24/18
VS

— The End —