❄
I know
No one had cared
and I know now
No one cares

My heart tugs at itself
Desperately wanting
Some closure from the others
Because I can't provide enough

I feel so much for the past
And present of others
Because I know real pain
And I know real suffering

But to keep my own
Past and present covered up
Is what bothers me most
About life

They have always pushed me
Into solitude - just me and the issues
That weren't even my fault to begin with

They keep all my secrets there
But for years and years I've been banging
and Banging on the door
All I've ever wanted is for someone
Just someone
To open it, and at least accept
and Listen
To who I was, Who I am, and Who I strive to Be
❄

would relish greatly the clinging of friends
in a moment of darkness
and loneliness
clinging so much
that i forgot who i am
and what i deserve

I keep running
While you keep trying to figure me out

Some things are left
Undiscovered
Even from the host of all that is unknown

Once they know you for too long
They stop caring

Once I know them for too long
I start caring

They turn away and I turn to
I make them walk away
So I can stray alone in my sorrow

Self-sabotage is
The idea that I do this
To myself

They all attack me
Coming from all angles
But they don't wound me
No, only I can do such a thing

They paint a picture
But I enlarge it
Hiding behind the brush
Just to be splattered upon the canvas

Hiding
Screaming
To myself
Would not want to
Disturb the people
I've known for too long....

I live and see within two dimensions
The past
And the illusions of today

Three times
The mice have followed me

Into the woods
Deep into the forest
Where they deny me any more sanity

Because three times
They have followed me
Into darkness

Through reluctant times
I am traveling

The unknown is not so mysterious
For I can now see it

Yet the reason why I still travel
Is unclear

And eating at my skin

violet sea
arises the violence in me
directed towards everyone
that may cross the path

violet sea
washes away all the possibility
that i too may be
something greater than wrath