It's days like this when you wake up
& find yourself in a dream.
A dream where you meet the one you love,
do things what you want to do.
But in a split second it fades
like it never existed.
The truth hits you as you realize
you were awake the whole time
& dreaming a dream in a dream.
You wake up to a whole brand new day,
working hard to make your dream come true.

I cry,
I cry for the things I can't have though I shouldn't.
I cry for the dog that lives next door locked on the roof.
I cry for the old man who can't see though it's better if he doesn't or else
he will see the unjust world.
I cry for the girl who isn't here cause she was taken away at a very young age.
I cry for the boy who doesn't have any friends because he isn't normal.
But most of all....
I cry just to let it all out.

We were in 4th grade when we first met,
you  were always tall.
Though we were in the same class,
you acted as if you were older with your wise sayings and all that.
You were always sweet,
always, the lend a shoulder kind of friend.
You loved the idea of being in love,
though you were still young.
I still remember the time when we fought,
the first and the last.
We didn't talk for days.
I missed my best friend, my big brother.
Eventually we started talking again.
Our friendship became stronger in 7th grade,
but who knew that our time together would be short.
We didn't fight, but I went away.
The hardest day of my life - saying goodbye.
I still think about our friendship and how much it meant to me.
I miss our time together, I miss you.
So here I am, having said goodbye,
now saying hello again.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

HOPE.... What is it?
Hope is when you wish for something,
hoping it comes true.
Hope is when you wish to get 'A' in maths,
hoping you get it.
Hope is when you wish not to be scolded by your mom for breaking her favorite vase,
hoping she lets you off the hook easily.
Hope is when you wish to be selected for the lead role in your school play,
hoping you get it.
Hope is when you wish to be selected in the football team,
hoping you make it,
Hope is when you wish to get an approval from your parents to go out for a party,
hoping they agree.
And lastly,
Hope is when you wish to make your parents proud of you,
hoping they do.
This is what is HOPE.

Is it wrong to say what I want to?
Is it wrong to feel what I feel?
Is it wrong to not listen to everything they tell me?
These questions haunt me,
getting their answers is not easy.

They want me to be happy all the time,
Is being sad when I feel sad wrong?
Am I supposed to hide how I feel, just so..
so that they aren't affected by it?
I am human too

I want to have choices,
I don't want everything served in a platter to me,
and still not have a choice.
I want to live my life.
Is that so wrong?

It is the fear of what would happen next,
that keeps me from speaking.
I don't seek sympathy or pity,
I seek understanding.
I want people to let me be what I want to be,
do what I want to do.
Is it wrong to have goals and dreams?

If growing up means giving up on my dreams,
then I don't want to grow up.
I would rather be an immature kid than be an adult without dreams.
I would rather be illiterate with humanity than be literate without humanity.
Is it so wrong to wish?

I am not different,
I am just me.

I am not you,
I can never be either.

I am just me,
but is that enough?

Life isn't just about give and take,
it is about sharing.
Life isn't just about me and only me,
it is about us together.
Life isn't about scowling at everything wrong,
it is about smiling while solving the problem.
Life isn't about finding something to be sad about,
it is about being happy and content with all that you have.

You say it tastes bad.
I say it tastes delicious.
You say television is better.
I say newspapers are better.
You want to hangout with friends.
I want to hangout with family.
You want to be mean.
I want to be just.
You say happiness comes from money.
I say happiness comes from what good I do for others.
This is what is different,
because I am 'ME' and you are 'YOU'.

On my way, I go.
Leaving behind the sorrow, the pain
that once had me crawling in fear.
I won't look back.

On my way, I go.
Leaving behind the memories,
memories that haunted my dreams.
I won't look back.

Because I am strong,
I am me and now,
I am free.

I can't say I regret it,
can't say I feel bad,
Cause it was long coming.
It was a storm just waiting to happen.
So, I let it.
"Why?", you may ask.
Well, because it was tough,
tough having to fight a battle I knew I was gonna lose.

I let it happen,
and I can't say I regret it.
Cause I also needed to live, just like you.
You made me do this, you know.
Why couldn't you stay quiet?
Why couldn't you stop it?
If it weren't for you,
I would still be here.

The words you said were like scars,
never leaving me.
I know it doesn't make sense,
but I don't really blame you,
I pity you, you know.
The you of then must have been similar to me.
You must have also hid when they came.
Still, I want to know, why,
Why did you do it to me?
Did you get any satisfaction?

You survived it,
you might think of yourself as brave,
but all you are is a coward.
I guess I just wasn't strong enough to face you head on.
I don't regret it because now atleast I know,
I know what it feels like to be left out,
to be looked down on,
to be spat on.

So, I thank you,
I thank you for showing me you who you truly were.
Or else I would have been living in a fool's paradise.
Even though you got through me,
but there lies a whole world beyond which, you cannot get through.
Though I'm leaving,
I'll still be here to see how much you regret it there.

It's not easy saying goodbye,
And I learned it the hard way.
Not much I remember from the days when I used to be the one,
the one saying goodbye.
But this one goodbye, I know will never leave me.
It's not mine though, it's of that one person who means a lot to me,
that one person who believes in me,
that one person who doesn't judge me,
that one person who would still be on my side whatever happens.

The days are less, yet I don't know what to feel.
"Is this really happening?', I ask myself again and again.
I don't know how I will handle it, cause this will be the first goodbye I get.
"Am I ready for it?", I ask
I have to be no matter what.
I know my tears won't stop anything, however..
I believe that those tears will help ease my pain.

Tears won't make me look weak,
they will just be small mirrors of my feelings which cannot be put into words.
And she will understand.
I can choose not to cry, but I know for a fact that won't be able to happen.
Because, she won't be there anymore after that.
All I can give her are my tears, those tears will be the only way I can let my sadness out.

She won't be happy seeing me cry, she never is.
She will still try to be cheerful, just for me.
"Why?", people may ask.
Because that is who she is, her smile is everything.
Her smile can make a bad day go away anytime.
She will be missed but who she is as a person will be missed more.
That one person who I love the most.

She is living a lie,
just doesn't know it yet.
Her story is mine to tell.
She is living a lie.

She believes them when they tell her who she is,
except she isn't.
They want the real her to be hidden.
To never be found, to never be heard.

"Why?", you ask.
Because they are scared.
Scared of the world finding out about the real her.
Scared of the consequences they will have to face.

What they don't know is....
that she will find out.
And when she does,
they will not know what hit them cause she will be heard.

But right now,
she is still hidden.
Under hundreds of different locks.
But she... she will break through.

"Why?", again you ask.
Because she just realized,
that she was living a lie.

I think of you everyday,
I think of you in the morning,
I think of you in the night,
I think of you in my hard times,
I think of you when I am alone,
I think of you when I feel like giving up,
I think of you when it feels like whatever I do goes wrong,
I think of you everyday and will keep thinking of you.
But....... where are you????

I feel restless.
I am helpless.
Have I changed?
Or have you given up on me?

Feeling like a nobody,
reduced to dust.
Have I lost the way?
Or have I lost myself?

Trying to find answers,
I reach my destination.
Only to find myself falling into
a deeper pall of darkness.

What is right?
What is wrong?
Living is already tough,
do we have to make it even more unbearable?

Not knowing which way,
I continue walking.
Hoping, wishing,
someday I find myself again.

What if the flower doesn't bloom?,
Then I plant a new one.
What if the bird can't fly?,
Then I check to see if it's wings are alright.
What if the time turns back?,
Then I correct my mistakes.
What if I finally break apart?,
Then I will try to fix myself.... cause waiting for someone else to do it would only make me less me.