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If there was time to sleep,
I would dream larger
than mountains.
My fingers would rake
the pale sky and leave
streaks of the cosmos
in their wake.
I would conquer fear,
and death.
I would laugh at entropy.
Heat death wouldn't harm me.
I would stand my ground
among the myriad humiliations
of endless days.
I would let out all
the things that I keep in
and no more would I stand
a monster, but become
free as a cleansed man.
Obstinate structures would
never stand in my path
to rewards earned.
I would force the *******
world to a halt to hear
my words and beat
the rhythm my world
moves to.
A billion what ifs
would stretch before me
as I plucked the strings
of maybe to arrange
a song that matches
the perfect version of my life
But of course,
there is no time to sleep.
There is only now
and what is waiting.
 Apr 2014 Just Jenny
cheryl love
He does love me
I hope that he does
Or does he even care?
He is never here
Never there
Love can cruel
Sometimes
He shouts when I'm ill
Which is most of the time
Will it be until
The day I die?
Love can be cruel
Sometimes.
He is always sorry afterwards
Sorry is such a petty excuse
Take another pill
I say I am fine
Love can be cruel
Sometimes.
Is he bullying me
For his own self satisfaction
If he is then that is wrong
Love can be cruel
Sometimes.
They say one has to be cruel
to be kind
Who on earth thought that one up
Love can be cruel
Sometimes.
I know they love me
In a strange sort of way
I cant help being ill
They know that
So where is the love
Sometimes?
I dislike writing poems
I dislike them because they force me to dig deep
Deeper than I am comfortable digging
It unearths my uncertainties
Exposing soft spots in my facade

I base most decisions on information gathered
What happens when info is left out
I mean the IMPORTANT stuff
How can you make a critical decision
When people blindfold you from the truth
Most people think they know it all even the gray stuff
But from mouth of someone trusted, you doubt anything

Why do we use our brains so often
Our thoughts change like a clock's tick
Should we not consult out hearts a little more
It seems to change alot less frequently.....

Any storm can be calmed
Intelligence is useless with out common sense
Timing helps the substance pertain  
Why drop the bombshell too late
Now all is left is the aftershock
Nothing can be effected just felt.....
It is useless, even poisonous

But hey a little smoke signal would have been nice
Silence is a hard hitter, trust me
Is poetry just our thoughts in code words
If so I might end up liking poetry



*COI
 Apr 2014 Just Jenny
cora
My arms are numb again
as panic begins to ensue.
How familiar the sensation
of this panic feels.
I want to scream.
I want to scream out for help.
yet theres nothing I can do but breathe.
My heart rate rises and my body shakes.
I regain control but only just.
Then again I try to breath and remember..
everything will be okay.
 Apr 2014 Just Jenny
cora
I need...
 Apr 2014 Just Jenny
cora
I need to be held..
I need to feel better...
I need to be told things will be okay...
I need to hold you...
I need your love...
I need you....
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