I'M OPPRESSED BY AN EDUCATIONAL SYSTEM WHERE CODES OF CONDUCT GET DRILLED UPON A BLACK INDIVIDUAL BECAUSE OF HAIR COLOUR THAT DOESNT QUITE MATCH THEIR TINT.
TO EXTENTS WHERE THEY CAN FORCE YOU TO TURN BACK ON YOUR HUMAN RIGHT TO LEARN.
WHEREAS THE SAME WHITE INDIVIDUAL WHO TRANSFER THEIR HAIR COLOUR FROM BROWN TO BLONDE CAN SIT AND RECEIVE AN EDUCATION WE BOTH PAYED FOR.

two burns decorate my shoulder
due to drunken recklessness
one on my forearm
by a stubborn game of pain
but the second in the same spot
was not in ruckus or fury
it was born from being
terribly, terribly
empty

Hey Eddie,
       where are you tonight? I'm outside and my body aches. My feet are frozen too. Do you hate my cigarettes? I'm sorry I'm weak sometimes but I think you understand. I still haven't felt you, maybe once on the hill, but I live in Long Beach now. Not close to the hill or your home or our streets. Crazy huh? It's a long way from where I thought we'd end up. Do you remember how much you liked sushi? I had some today. It tasted like the river and the rope swing. I wonder if you would recognize me. I'm a mess Ed, a mess. I'm posting this on some website in hopes that it finds its way to you. I'll write it down too, then burn it over a mountain so the ashes might meet with yours. I don't know. I'm tired, so tired. Hey Eddie, where are you tonight?

I'm a wreck
I'm ******
I stare in the mirror wishing it was
a truck
I want the headlights
in my blue eyes
I want to sleep with her
in my arms tonight
******* it this *****
I'm friendless here
I'm drunk here
I'm faded and jaded
misplaced and disgraced
I want a fresh start
I want a new brain
With less thoughts and feelings
less staring at the ceiling
Lately all I can imagine is Eddie
and Ryan and Alyssa
she hung herself
Ryan ODed
Eddie in a car crash
Grandpa Jerry in surgery
Grandma Cherry in her sleep
Grandpa Con soon after Eddie's retreat
Come on Death, give me a break
or give me a grave
or give me another beer
so I can disappear

I think plants live in slow mo
when we walk by
it's just a shimmer
like the last tendrils of a ghost
lazily dissipating in the night

A disturbing lack of interest
has risen to the surface
struggling for purpose while
school work seems worthless
unimpressed by the standards set
or perhaps just pensive
wondering where the road leads next
the feeling that textbooks
only hold answers for paper tests
not physical, substantial assessment
That ****** diploma a chain
keeping my brain and body locked
to this spot, this location
when my very essence yerns for motion
for some cosmic lotion to apply
to this burned romantic
helpless, maybe, but awakened
none the less
even if I can't be bothered to
laze over homework
two weeks and it'll be no work
to fall from the sky
back into my old house
and maybe
her
eyes