the teardrops run down
and fall off her nose
she cries in the dark corners
where nobody goes
you can follow the tracks
from her eyes to her chin
years upon years
of letting them win
and her eyes tell a story
of anger and pain
you think that she's happy
but just look again
and the scars of her past
hidden under her clothes
are a roadmap to places
that nobody knows
her smile is now painted
she's a master of disguise
and you can see it all
just look into her eyes

I dreamed I stood in silence
beneath a shattered golden sky
while the stars rained down like tears
blinked from a universal eye,
and in my fist I held
all that I've ever truly owned
yet my fingers closed on air
clutching only my skin and bone
but something in that gesture
hinted at more than I could see
that like my skin, the air
was just as much a part of me
and I'd found that I owned nothing
for I already had it all
I was the gold that streaked the sky
and every star still yet to fall
it was this that I held onto
when I finally awoke
to find a sky the brightest blue
that showed no sign that it ever broke

I attract lost souls
those who cannot sleep at night
they ponder life and deeper meanings
I decipher their fears
protecting them from fright

they are wounded and ungaurded
their houses broken with sadness
and alone in solitude
I am their guiding light
but I am the only one with the dimmest madness

I fell in love with you
when you didn't want me to
and I told you the darkest
secret of mine. thinking you
would be the one to save me
and make us combined
but instead you walked away
with my sadness still bleeding
from my brain, a pit of blood
left from the confusion
that is my pain

there was a time when
things were so good
and you were happy

you wonder how things got so bad
then you blame yourself
you hate yourself
you cannot control the pain
and you mark your body
with little slit like tally marks

but you desire to fix yourself
you want things to be better

you are trying but things take time
you must be patient
and you must learn from your mistakes
before you can fix yourself

it is a process

depression is a puzzle
they give you an illustration
of what it's meant to resemble
but when you take the pieces
out of the box
they're all scrambled up
no where they're supposed to be
it takes time
to put the pieces back together
because sometimes the pieces
don't fit where you want them to
but you soon grasp that
that's not where they were meant to be
once your puzzle is complete
you admire it for a little bit
then you detach the pieces
then start a new one
that's what depression is
it's a puzzle

I was alone
and the darkness said hello
he has
always
been
my
first
love
I was alone
and the darkness
kissed my brow
and said hello
when
my friends planned parties
I would not be
invited to
he held me down and showed me
how to stick *******
down my throat
I was alone
and my darkness said hello
it has been seven years
since a blade
first graced my skin
and he is the only one
I have ever
let in.