there it is
a little glint
of sunrise
urging my eye- lids
to pry themselves open
again
though we can hope
for what might've been
Having trouble just trying to understand
I must keep missing the message
within .. us
lustin' after
inter dimensions
But it's make believe
hey, you know,
What is strange
Is lately
I no longer have to need
Only sweat & bleed
POETRY
Pushing ink to
swim deep
via bloodstream
She
is so complete
but eaten up with
Ancient Bruises
How bout you
Go
Get a grip
then
make me lose it
look at u
misusin
uniqueness
As if
It wasn't given
as a gift
So that your hues
can breathe less
Let my limbs
weaken
when I reach the
deep-end
Yes you yes you
Yes! you are the glue
that keeps my
parts from leaving
"I love the drama
in the dry heave
Eye look for ward
in putting it all behind me."
Release all things
Which make us nervous
Sir
I dont think
even heard this
****, didn't peg you as
squirmish
**** It
let's ready the curtain
I swear
I didn't mean to hurt them
sorry
I guess I'm still learnin

All I really need
is to know that youre breathing
A feeble attempt at
knowing my own pity

Though it's for the best
I keep on walking
I could cross off
favoring modesty
over flinging undergarments

to hardly anyone who gave
two s*s
...will be addressed incessantly
until you're quest is up

Drug Addict,
you made your precipice
sank into a mess
you'd never see yourself
destroying
In a million years

Burn the books you bled into
Sweat pouring
heavy pencil scribbles
fog your head with voices
beg for answers at the door

Sour Statistics
for breakfast
caress the
kyanite
before the doctor
walks on in
Figure you can
fix the intent..
just quit hittin the
self destruct but-ton
Let it all come un-done
Constantly undercover
but abundant because of it
bouta buck 50
but buckin' the f**king
government
bounda break free
cutting the ties to
our suffering
come on world,
I've been too patient
throw me a bone that
I can play with.

It is,
cracking as we speak
basking in it?
Flapping
just to reinforce the seams
Tired of rhyming
tired of squeezing out strength
in between bed sheets
Dreams do not make us durable
if anything they trick the psyche
It's okay though
It is a test
we are all eligible
to
TAKE

Feed your ego to the dogs
Finally freed from the fog
That's alot
That's a body
That's like alot to follow
Also,
Make sure you mock
The other comics
Cuz I wouldn't wanna cause
False hope
Ironic
How you lost confidence
When
You was on top of the world
Til you got on stage
Stay tuned
All the way to the end
Ya'll prolly ready for the plot twist
It's all for show
But yo, watch this
Finale' I voluntarily
Throw a bottle
Of cotton and lava stones
I lit from the suns' light
My cocktails are molotovs
Why flaunt or front
Im fully flawed
And now Im wishing I
called home....

Oh no
dot dot dot
....................
"thought so"

Sick of the land
I was placed in
Coddled with knee socks
I breathe when I feel lost

If I'm being honest
I can't even concentrate

Just gonna conk out
My last thoughts
Are on some

Wanna be
Sarcastic
God-complex
****

Breath in
take a wiff
Fight off blind spots
Dissolve these
four walls
that box me in
eating away at my perception
fill my lungs up with smoke
...pause...
and choke choke choke
the worries
loosen from the bone tissue
and temporarily
this gives me a profound dream

My lack of
Currency
Makes me worthless

In the worst way

Makes me
dispensable
   Disposable

Low and behold
I never thought
I'd dig myself

This deep
A hole

Oh No!!!

I'll break it down for ya
break dance beach

I read dem daily Eulogies
To early tunes
I know it sounds morbid
but don't worry its cool
Gives me a chance to duel my dual diagnosis
SOON as the warm sun
Cast my curtains open
***** you bet, Both Sides, Show up  and You know they be holding
Tip o' the sword  Tack sharp
Make Sure that poisons' potent
Soon as the worms' are pushed
Up from the dirt
Good mernin ' Sermons
...likely to listen yet never
Learn

Divine thought
busted out the top then stopped
caught mid-moment another day
good, bad, and ugly, and loving it
man down, malfunction
mild brain eruption
Tell me if I'm caught in the
stagnant melting ***
You aint sheltered
By no corporate ****
send your cops to block me off

Tell me I've been slashed off on the list
of high class citizens
pretend im with them
to sneak a sip of gin
and make a mochery
of their plastic, puffed up
Way of life
It will hoist you up and
drain the dreams from your ears
They don't accept me here
or respect the ones who have the GUTS
to be weird

Dare ya to judge
cuz we love to **** with normalcy
You peek inside like a stray dog
crying to the cold night
About as vacant as a vessel can get
transfixed on your picket fence
botox stretched lips
spewing straight *******

You can miss me with your stipulations
you're obliged to have nice things
No thanks
This is not what we were taught
to deem as important


Spoiled silver spoon snoots
I could learn ya how to be human
Lets shed those comfort zones
Have I been snoring through my big show?
Eyes always open
fists always closed
teeth tightened  to the point where
words get stuck in the gullet

Go head swallow that lump in your throat
Let it digest and sit quiet
Anguish aching
in the pit of my stomach
so shut up with your
need to squawk at the
I don't need you tp tell me
my words mean more than I do.


I am an instrument but I am affected too
Watch the monkeys dance
document this social ludicrous
can't believe they even live like this
I will teach my kids to know the difference
"Social Acceptance" isn't winning
Dance monkeys Dance
like cyborgs in a psych ward

Forever snoring in a narcissistic coma

Per-fect-ly
proportionate
in pretty little pieces
the carnelian cracks
that clumsy ****
cant meditate
can't mean it
come accomplished
no conscious
constantly overdone
exhausted

Gimme just a few
Seconds
I've been waiting
For us
To one day
Finally
Fuse again
No old habits...
No Abusive Ness
The nature of aging
Said stupid kids
I can't tell where
The stoop begins
With Suits that cover
Up every sin
Sticks
Static tension
Lack of friends
But from our fingers
Something electric
Fizzed
I need a few more seconds
To confess
How I've loved you
Ever since
We were both
One of them
Lazy stoop kids

Trigger happy
Finger driven
Don't lift my body
Just my spirit
Is it weird
That I don't always
Like sensual
Unusual at best
I'm used to my human  I guess
I am another animal
let out all my anomalies
& scream for closure,
For criticism,
For Recognition

Woman of the house
modern princess in a tower
type ****
Type up your **** talk
and I'll chalk it
It'll be fun
to see your
fingertips
fall off
My auto bio should be called,
"LOST CAUSE"
Cold Contact
Case Closed
Arms open
Mouth sewn
Fit to freak the **** out
Leave me outta the line up
Likely to live with delusions
....on a loop
don't ever call me
"baby"
that name is reserved
for him

Do you ever miss me?
Finding all of these forgotten songs
I wrote for you
10 plus years of hope
Hoping I'd learn how to get over you
I filled my void with food,
With hunger,
With chemicals,
With ***,
With words,
Waiting for each one
To fill me with warmth
But I hadn't felt it since
These old songs match the scars on my arms
And I'm left here wondering
Was it ever mutual?
Did you even feel a fraction
Of the hurt I did?

How painful it is to lose your soul-mate...
Dunno how to make it
How heavy my heart hangs
A little lower each day
Can't hardly write since your life was taken
Our plans for 2020
Quickly spiral down the drain
What to say to myself
To keep From going insane
Blatantly angry
Sapien Shaking
Maybe it's the pain
Or the way my shadows chase me
Aye, Meet me in the middle
Bounce a verse against my head
My stomach summons butterflies
Finally  alive  
Like a child
You always made me feel inspired
Trying to write without you
I feel,
Like a fire dying out..

They say you
can recreate the **** you've lost
forget-me-nots wont work here
Pitiful Stranger
Need I remind you of what you are able...
wait for the veil to someday slip
A fib as this is likely fatal.

Compassion & Action
set me free
jus really need to be lonely
for a second
Left NAKED
so that stretched seconds
**** dry your insides
shoulda stuck to daydreaming
Jesus please release me
the leash is lingering a bit
too long
The ring is ceaseless
Disease that'll likely eat my head
Times like these I kinda regret
tattooing "Ramble On"
On my forearm
Though it's an art and it's cathartic


again this is directed at a select few
5 minutes of peace
please please
make the squawking stop
I'm gonna get ornery
Too blind to see the exit sign
Found Guidance
in the crisis  
You cake on a coat of
niceness
most likely
hiding behind
******* masks
f* your jaw
you can't stop
flapping

Dear God
forgive me yet again
for I stirred the pity ***
a bit too long
and its honestly pathetic

We are trapped within ourselves
noses glued in biographies
cobwebs covering the shelves
the big book of 'WHYs' I havnt even tried to read
too much respect, too much mystery
I leave it there abandoned
because my stomach churns to look at it
meant for mint condition
wanted and forbidden
it took so much time to sew up
took so much thought when written
I know you BREATHE EAT SLEEP,
like me you have human needs
Page by Page
you spectate
We feed off of mutual inspiration
WE

Signal sacred
smokey basement
Holy, hatefit
Make me brave
just brave enough
could I stay an angry sapient
with no ideas
no chance of makin it
Where the hell you been?
Your time is up