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Jun 2014 · 327
Lost one
Tuesday Pixie Jun 2014
Such a dreary mood upon me now
- I wish to be free
From memory,
Hopelessness,
This surging, riling, anxiety
Swirling heart and stomach,
Free from all that I know:
Running away would not suffice,
I wish to be reborn.

I escaped for a moment through another's life,
more suffering than mine, more confused, more lost -
Yet the soft light of hope pervaded
And potential shone, an open door.

Why, when I have so much, does this suffering descend?
No, not descend,
It comes from within.
This waking life in all its glory
Withholds explanation

Focus on the breath, lost one,
"The movement of air,
Into bodies, out of bodies, through lives,...
The great exchange"
Feel the swell and dissolve
The tingling that dances, the pain, the heaviness,
Let it all fall away
Let dreams clear that which lingers now
Worries dissolve into symbols and stories
Slip through the curtain to Morpheus's realm:
This heaviness may yet disappear in the light of a new sun.
"The movement of air... the great exchange" is quoted from Janet Frame - an unfinished poem or perhaps simply a poetic stream of thought, mentioned in the foreword to 'The Goose Bath' anthology of Janet's poems. It has long been one of my favorite poems.
Jun 2014 · 306
Bradley
Tuesday Pixie Jun 2014
You bounced in
Overjoyed at life, at music,
At me.
You bounced in and I taught you a tune
Expecting nothing.

And when I was cocooned and numbed in sorrow
You kissed my cheeck
And my heart exploded
And the sun itself - though it was night -
The sun itself flowed through my veins.

And here we are.
And you're a pillar of hope, of courage
You heal me.

I've dragged you through my pain and sorrow
But with arms around me
You paint stars and joy
You bring me home.
Apr 2014 · 418
A beautiful soul.
Tuesday Pixie Apr 2014
You were a simple soul.
Not that you were simple:
You were simple in your complexity.
And tragic.
And divine in your tragedy.
To indulge in the destructive... Was bliss.
To indulge in the tragedy,
The confusing tumult of emotion
Drowning out any hint of clarity,
... Was bliss.

Until it became suffocating.

And I, longing for air, for sense, I climbed out.
But you, consumed, indulging,
Reveling in the intoxication of it all,
In the danger,
You were left behind.
Perhaps that's  what it was:
Both of us exulting in pure emotion.
Feed me. Feed me your anger and pain.
I feel it swell within me even now.
Some dark aspect of ourselves was escaping to see sunlight
- Or not, for we stayed in doors.

A beautiful soul.
Beautiful in your love as well as your sadness.
Beautiful though I saw much of your ugliness.
Beautiful in your complexity. In your tragedy. The agony.
Consumed by the abyss.

We're all beautiful, in the end. For life itself is beauty, and once we have slipped to the darkness beyond, there's nothing left but to cherish the memory:
that
beautiful
living
thing.
Tuesday Pixie Mar 2014
Because in this moment I feel 80% lesbian
and 20% straight
Because I've never desired a woman
like this before
Because curiosity
will be my Eve's apple
And because I've realised that I relish the temptation
above its release

Because she is special
- and I mean beautiful in mind and spirit
- and I mean graceful in body and word
- and I mean life itself seems to sparkle from her smile

Because this may be me coming out to the world and saying:
I don't care if you are female or male
if you're beautiful and amazing and wonderful
then ****-it-all!! I might just have to love you

Because all I really want to do
Is hold her hand
or hug her tight

...
And I'm scared
I'm scared that if it went any further
we wouldn't be two souls sharing something beautiful
this deep intimate connection
or love
or beauty itself divine
emotions soaring, smiles wide

Instead we might just be
Two bodies
Trying vainly for the highest of ****** pleasures
Hormones gushing -
gaining only a sinful moment

Because I'm scared that
I am just a romantic
And anything more than bathing in her smiles light
May make these moments
lose their beauty
- instead being shrouded in the knowledge
that follows temptations release
The understanding that
she is beautiful and untouchable and I
I, straight, female, me
I cannot share in more than that smile
I may only revel in the touch of her hand
or occasional embrace

Do I need anything more?
No. The beauty, the temptation, the agony
is divine.
But. Still. I long to know.
Mar 2014 · 559
Slump. Sigh.
Tuesday Pixie Mar 2014
Slump.
Sigh.
The chest ache again.
But then, it never quite ceased.
Slump.
Sprawl.
The lump in the throat.
And the hope that it doesn't spill out. This skin has had enough to drink. Salty water doesn't quite do the trick, anyhow.
Glance.
Stare.
At nothing. Still nothing new, nothing holding.
A distraction, any distraction. Please?
Curl up.
Cry.
And because this mood has muddled one thousand days already, there is no hope for anything else:
Sleep.
Please.
Erase the world. That vague dark wave will crash down. Its stillness banish this heaviness. Just for a moment. A sweet blessed moment.
Mar 2014 · 223
One day, in my mind
Tuesday Pixie Mar 2014
And the little voice piped up,
Growing louder with each word;
"Who are you to succeed?
You're invisible,
You're small
It will all end in disaster,
Mark my words,
Them? They don't care one jot!
You're a pawn in their plan, that's all,
Just stay in the shadows, that's it,
Right there, that's the spot!"

It drove fear to my heart
A falter to my step
- But wait what was this?
A success? I did good?
I realised then that I am no longer small
But powerful and bright
I'd thrown off that cloak some time ago

Another voice butted in,
Shining brighter than the other;
"You? You're amazing!
Just look at your life!
Your dreams are being realised
It's true - you're loved
And I can see why
You're powerful for sure
- But don't shrink away
It's okay to live in the light
Up here with these shining people
The universe flows through your veins"

So I stand tall,
Against doubts gnawing
My nails too
Assert their power
No longer stunted by wicked doubt

I am bright. I am powerful.
I AM IN THE LIGHT.
Sep 2013 · 1.3k
I'm sparking I'm sparking
Tuesday Pixie Sep 2013
I'm sparking I'm sparking
Electricity bounces through my skin
I've found a sudden freedom
Somewhere I never thought to look
In something I'd forgotten to remember:
In my independence.

I'd built myself a prison
Trapped with notions of how to please
The image of his perfect girl
Now I've awakened an inner fire
And I'm sure he's somewhat off balance
But, well, TOUGH!

I'm sparking I'm sparking
And it's driving me on,
Away from expectations,
It's driving me on,
To follow my desires

It's a curious thing,
To be liberated from something
That I once invested such pride in
What a way to love someone!
To dim down ones own wants and desires
I've done this for you...
I wonder if you ever realised?

But now, now,
No more wondering
Because I know I haven't done anything special
And I know I don't need your approval
Coz there is no way in hell you could stop me
I'm a force of my own right now, honey
And this good-girl gon do what she please

I'm shaking, I'm shaking
Excitement tingling through me
And no! I won't come home tonight
But don't worry, I am faithful
I just got caught with spontaneity
See, it's catching like the cold
And I'm following that buzz,
That spark across my skin

I'm sparking  I'm sparking
And I'm back, I'm me,
I'm unchained from that inner leash
And ****! It feels so good to be free!
Jun 2013 · 598
Tick tock tick tock....
Tuesday Pixie Jun 2013
And the world keeps on turning
it doesn't mind if we fall behind
it doesn't wait.
And our clocks they keep on ticking
Ticking ticking
Because time was invented to push
And push
And push us forwards
Endlessly forwards
Into the present
As if without their ceaseless urge
We might just slip into the past
And in the turmoil we strive for a break
A lapse in time
A passage to the ether
Where we may actually be able to stop thinking
- Maybe this time we can have a break

And in the space that lies
Between thought we will find peace
Or boredom
Or nothing
The type that doesn't exist
Even space has rocks
And there there will be elevator music
With purpose to entertain
But a function to remind
That we are just waiting once again
In the space between
The place we were and the place we want to be
To remind that we are in the present.

And the clocks tick ceaselessly
And we are losing seconds
Each a step closer to the eternal dark
The white light
Or nothingness
How can we know?
And we are pushed
Pushed
Pushing forwards
Lest a second wasted is the last we use,
Lest a second wasted is the one that leaves us behind
- That leaves us without another
And time is a constraint to be obeyed and structured
And time is an allowance we forget to enjoy
And time is the rule
The non-existent measure of life
- We've only a limited budget
And it will never ever be enough
Just give me a moment
Just give me a break
The ether might yet consume me
Or maybe I should consume it;
A medication for my hectic mind
The stillness I crave is all too brief and limited and much too measured
Just give me a break.

*Tick tock
Apr 2013 · 850
Scrambled Eggs
Tuesday Pixie Apr 2013
"He has one magic trick, just one and that's it; he disappears"
Is that how it is?
****
And you're gone. And he's gone.

I'm having trouble.
I tried to make an omelette today and it turned into scrambled eggs.
And I was standing there,
Giggling to myself
As it must be my brain.

****
And everything went dull,
numbed,
- And under that so much anger
And I didn't know how deep until just recently.
Or perhaps I don't even know yet.

And I met a guy.
And I think he's the one.
And I've never really thought that before.
And I think we could be together forever.
And I've never really thought that before.

And I flip from feeling crazily, happily, madly in love
And I flip to feeling crazily, urgently, madly desperate
And I flip to nothing at all.

A numb.

But I know the feelings are still there.
I know I'm still teetering on the edge
The balance.
That balance between a wonderfully happy me
And a ridiculously desperate me
What if it doesn't work out? What if I ***** it up? What if he finds someone else?  
What if what if what if what if...
And I know I just need to relax,
There's no answers gained from this repetition;
BUT what if?!

And I've been looking at myself lately,
I've been realising how wonderful I am
I've been realising how intelligent I am
How talented
How beautiful
I'm even funny!
And I think to myself
A whisper from somewhere dark and deep;
*But is it enough?
Mar 2013 · 692
There's too much.
Tuesday Pixie Mar 2013
I can feel them all pressing down.
They piled up, one by one
And I could knock some off
But it didn't make a difference;
they just kept piling up.
I'm some sort of magnet
A pressure point
In a glacier, perhaps
- all sides pushing against me and no relief
So this ice turns to water
My composure disintegrates and leaks
And suddenly I'm not a person any more
But a puddle of exhaustion and desperado
There's too much, too much, too much.
And there's nothing I can do
But try to pick them off one by one
One day at a time, as they say,
One thing at a time.

Will I ever be freed from burden?
Mar 2013 · 558
Us 4.
Tuesday Pixie Mar 2013
We were quite something,
Us 4 against the world.
Us 4, because we didn't really have anyone else.
Us 4,broken, damaged, rebellious and bitter.
- But we knew how to have fun, we sure did.
We knew how to stick it to the powers that be.
We knew that what we did didn't really matter.
We knew how small we were.

And that made us angry.

Because society's system comes in a 'one size fits all' that didn't, and doesn't, fit us.
Because when you're broken and the world doesn't care and the system doesn't work and you're NOT just the average teen who parties and wears the latest fashion, when you're nothing like them, when you're nothing like they want you to be
-- When you know that the socially accepted normal is stupid and meaningless and pathetic --

There's nothing else you can do but scream "***** YOU I'M DIFFERENT" with every fibre of your being and defiantly stare into the eyes of normal as you step over their invisible little line -
And it helps a little.

But only a little.

....

I'd like to say we're still united,
Us 4 against the evil oppressors.
But we're different.
We've always been different.
And that which united us once then pulled us to different places.

And now there's only 3 of us.
And it's strange how death can reunite,
Even for a moment,
3 rebels.
It's strange how death can bring clarity
To an age ago.
It's strange how it all makes sense now.
Because I think it had to be us 4,
I think we found each other
While the rest of the world was still asleep
- And much of it still is.
I think we needed each other
- I certainly did.
And I'm glad that,
In our hate,
Our bitterness and pain,
In this we found each other.
In this chaos we found love
- Even if only just for a moment.
And I miss it.
But it couldn't have lasted.
And I miss him.
But he wasn't ever truly for this world.
And we weren't ever truly for each other.
So it's a memory now, a memory of an age ago.
But I wouldn't say just.
Because 4 rebels united against the world are truly something,
Something more than just.
Jul 2012 · 871
When I Mounted the Mountain
Tuesday Pixie Jul 2012
I'm so exhausted
And my cheeks are still burning
My legs are still hurting
My stomach still churning
From that slippery *****
Of ice and snow
(Frozen water, yet it's fluffy?)
From that tumble down
Poles and arms flailing
Skis skittering
The snow one blank sheet
One flat generic and invisible terrain
Rising into bumps and dips
As soon as it reaches the feet
And, of course,
From those slips and dives,
Collisions and misses,
Trips and stumbles
Where legs rise up
Offering the sky a warm embrace
- Or perhaps a better perve
At the naughty parts
While the ground gets a ***** of the other end
Perhaps it's all just a trick
Of the mountain, the land
An attraction to lure us
Into it's cold, deathly grip
A chance for it to feel our skin
Our attention
Our bums
A chance for the mountain, the sky
To be the ultimate perves
Or perhaps we provide for them
A massage with our gentle gliding motions
Our poles are further *******
A more intense, deep happy ending
Or perhaps the sky and ground
Are in coherts
To gain their perverted glee
And we continue skating
Falling
Gliding
Happy
And  innocent
Of their disgusting
Kinks
I went skiing for the first time ever :D It was marvellous fun! The snow groped me all over!
Jul 2012 · 586
A Ray of Sun.
Tuesday Pixie Jul 2012
I woke up and there was a raging sea outside my window
The waves spitting at me as they threw themselves to their doom.
Did you drown amongst the chaos?
Did they claim your life with their own?
In any case, I cannot see your body on any shore near mine.
Nor any boat anchored in hibernation.
Good lord!
Don't tell me you tried to swim!
I'd much rather presume the oceans rage
Tempted you to stay inside
Stay Inside the dry and warm
Stay inside 'til the storm had passed
And out you would come;
A ray of sun.
Jun 2012 · 984
I'm falling for you.
Tuesday Pixie Jun 2012
I‘m falling for you
Like Autumn leaves
In the clutch of the seasons force
This world’s inevitable turning

I’m falling for you
Not just because I can.
Not just because I can’t not.
Both of which are true.
But because I want to.

I’m falling for you,
Remembering those dark sinful hours
Sweat on skin
Hips embraced by teeth and tongue
Rustling sheets, gasps and moans
Passion and pleasure and desire and,.. and…

I have fallen for you
Hoping, just hoping, you’ll be there
Arms warm, inviting, secure
Ensuring my plunge is not into the depths of despair
The despair of rejection, of dashed hopes and broken feelings
But, instead, instead, into the ethereal bliss that is love.
Jun 2012 · 836
Look At Me
Tuesday Pixie Jun 2012
She strutted in
Hips swinging,
And stood in the centre of the room.
As if all eyes were upon her
She tossed her head
The hair flick suggesting "look at me! I'm amazing!"

She sipped a drink through a straw
Occasionally licking a stray droplet from its length
Smirking as lust filled their faces
- and their pants
Her tongue whispered alluringly "look at me! I'm ****..."

She gazed at them with incredible ease
Absolute confidence
She lifted a hand and wiggled her fingers at them, a suggestive wave
- and winked
Her eyes twinkled, daring "look at me, I'm irresistible"

She followed the first guy that took her hand
She giggled at the compliments
Drank his money, glass after glass
She let him strip her bare
Of the slight barrier of fabric that shrouded her,
Her naked, fragile body begging "You believe me, don't you? Tell me you believe me? Tell me I'm wonderful, tell me..."

And the sweet poison took over.
Their clumsy bodies entwined, drunken blood urging drunken desires to be fulfilled
Her drunken mind pleading for affection, pleading, just for this moment, to be adored.

She picked up her clothes
Feeling his eyes upon her
Feeling his wanting
Feeling his satisfaction, of what she had given him
- Feeling, miserably, feeling that at least he saw her as incredible, as ****, as irresistible, as... as ...
A ****
May 2012 · 1.8k
Broken Minds
Tuesday Pixie May 2012
I think I’ll drop guitars
Watch them fall and crack
Strangers would pick them up
And pluck a broken tune
Upon their broken necks
And sit with broken bones
Singing broken words
Their minds broken long ago
By ******* politics
Crushing voice and body alike
Breaking bones into conformist shapes.
Their broken dreams
May yet be given
Wings of grace and flight
Their broken eyes
Might just yet see the light
And perhaps,
Perhaps,
There’s still some hope
For these bones
To heal some.
This was inspired by a Facebook conversation about dropping broken guitars instead of bombs - make music, not war <3
May 2012 · 4.8k
The cage of womanhood
Tuesday Pixie May 2012
The kitchen be my prison
To which I am confined
Enslaved by my position
As 'woman' to mankind.
This poem was a response to my friends constant jokes about my gender - which become rather annoying and predictable; "Make me a sandwich!" "Get back to your kitchen!"
May 2012 · 601
Foot
Tuesday Pixie May 2012
Foot.
How strange you seem down there.
Well, strange from up here.
Attached to an ankle to a leg to -- to the rest of me I would hope.
And though you're holding me up,
Balancing my every move,
You're mostly ignored, much forgotten,
Quite integral you do prove.
May 2012 · 1.8k
A Leaf Falls
Tuesday Pixie May 2012
A leaf falls
Brown and wrinkled
Starved of it's trees sweet nectar
A leaf falls

And while they are shedding their summer cloaks
We are adorning ourselves with scarves and hats,
Gloves and mufflers
Shivering at their barely clad skeletons
Huddling around their burning flesh

A leaf falls
It twists and dances in the wind
joyous at it's freedom
joyous as it plummets to the earth
Nourishment for it's mother tree

We watch and marvel at the beauty in the entropy
At the renewal that comes with destruction

A leaf falls
A change is upon us
A rebirth into a crisp and clear world
A leaf falls.
Tuesday Pixie May 2012
Perhaps I will become a waxing fiend.
A perpetrator of the nerves within my legs
In order to reach the imaginary beauty
that society has ingrained into my open mind.
Yet how can I ever fulfil this growing hole inside
Urging, commanding that I shall not be beautiful
Without Revlon mascara and tinted eyebrows,
That my diet must consist of a celery stick a day
And I must have a new wardrobe every week
- to keep in with the highest of fashions.
Do men really care if I'm wearing Gucci or Prada?
Would my restricted diet and devotion to thinspiration blogs impress them?
Has society really just given up on the love of personality,
the good old fashioned 'inner beauty'?
Feb 2012 · 621
Thud?
Tuesday Pixie Feb 2012
I didn't want to add another one; it would tip the balance.
I'd reached the perfect place, an aura of harmony amidst the chaos that was.
To tamper with that would be reckless.
Yet I did.
As I always do.
It seemed to me to be predestined that I took that step
that would ruin the joyous innocent circle
of trust
of acceptance
of happiness
which has somehow found me at its centre.
Everything that had been had led me there
so I rejoiced in my follies and ***** ups,
the things without which I would not have such glorious company
So I took that lucky number,
that large one three -
lucky to some, especially to me -
I took it and added one more.
One perilous, tiny straw
on the end of the balanced seasaw
And I waited.
I waited for it to collapse.
To come rushing down
A rush of adrenaline, panic, and joy
A sharp thud -
The fleeting moment the body has stopped but the mind has not.
The sickening non-existent stair the foot falls through in the dark.
The startled loss of something unknowingly treasured yet treasured far too much to lose.


Yet it did not.
Nov 2011 · 654
Depression.
Tuesday Pixie Nov 2011
The sadness grew until it became over weight and juicy with dignity, a belief that it belonged.
It hunched itself up into a mound
Which sat
Heavy and fat
Weighing on her shoulders
Absorbing her energy
Forcing her to hunch and stoop.
Where ever she went
She carried the desperation
She couldn't escape it.
It ****** slowly from her life
A leech drinking her soul.
Nov 2011 · 608
Dreams
Tuesday Pixie Nov 2011
She built her dreams with bare hands,
Her eyes closed
Against the constraints of reality.
She carved them slowly,
Smoothing their edges.
But she had forgotten to open her eyes,
Forgotten to make her dream world a reality.
And a crack formed;
It laced up the side of her perfect sculpture
Until it was cobwebbed and dusty.
It shattered.
Disintegrating into a million pieces.
Lost.
Fragile.
Nov 2011 · 751
The Hinterland
Tuesday Pixie Nov 2011
They stand,
huddled together,
tall protests that peirce the air;
With their shear beauty
they show reason enough,
they need no more justification.
And there, bleeding out of their mass,
mangled hunks mercilessly hacked from helpless trunks,
reduced to a pile of rubble, of rotting flesh,
filling the air with their putrid smell,
murdering the serenity with their own death.
And the perpertrators?
Long gone.
Their blades dripping with blood, oozing with evil,
their stinking motors,
all gone,
leaving only destruction and acrid smoke,
which can not be cleared,
swept away,
by the mass that was beauty,
destroyed by greed.
Nov 2011 · 727
Wishing Star
Tuesday Pixie Nov 2011
This is a poem I wrote when I was much younger - I think around 10 - but it has always been special to me, so I thought I would put it here.

Star Star
In the night
Why do you
Shine so bright?
Give me a wish
Give me some treasure
Help my friends and be there forever
Guide my people
Guide my heart
Help me have
A wishing start
Oct 2011 · 1.3k
Binocular Vision.
Tuesday Pixie Oct 2011
I stare through the binoculars that border my world,
my life,
my mind.
The steel rims,
walls which encase me,
limiting my sight,
my thoughts,
my knowledge.
I yearn to reach out,
to push them away,
but without them I fear I will no longer be able to see.
I feel blind already,
stumbling through my darkened doorway
to the conclusions my narrow mind rests upon.
Stumbling to the same perch,
although the route has changed,
although the facts are different.
The same limited view.
I wonder; when will I see other dazzling landscapes?
And, if I do, will I be brave enough to relinquish the safety of my curtailed vision
for the bigger picture,
a bright overview,
instead of my fuzzy focussed spot of knowledge.
Oh, binoculars, your safety is hindering.
Oct 2011 · 435
Her Heart.
Tuesday Pixie Oct 2011
She wears her heart upon her chest
yet it will not be given away
to her neck it was chained
for by a man it was tamed
and forever
it will stay.
Oct 2011 · 598
Love.
Tuesday Pixie Oct 2011
It all falls away.
'Til naught is left but the inner core.
And this is where I am most fragile, most timid.
Stripped of my defences, I hesitate to speak.
Weak as I am, I will buckle at the smallest push,
so tread wary else the vibrations from your footsteps may cause me to fall
and shatter.
Oct 2011 · 694
We Yell.
Tuesday Pixie Oct 2011
And we yell.
Each nursing a private hurt.
A self-centred pain we believe the other caused.
And we don't pause to think about the others pain.
We are too focussed on our own sense of wounded pride.
Our own need, desire,
for the other to understand our reason,
the pain they caused.
The insults fly,
words pierce,
the pain grows until we can stand it no longer.
'Til there's nothing left but that blinding stab.
'Til we can only glare in anger, think in tears,
emerse ourselves in our own inner pain
as we clutch at our wounded sides.
Oct 2011 · 460
Words
Tuesday Pixie Oct 2011
Words, like music on a page
filling the silence with beauty
how we long for such words to be said
and meant
perhaps we've all gone loopy
Oct 2011 · 660
The Tide
Tuesday Pixie Oct 2011
I will write a story.
But it is not for you.
And nor is it for me,
but for the tide that goes in and out,
everchanging,
gaining and losing,
winning,
yet never reaching an end,
a ******, a finale,
spending its eternity just moving against the sand till its belly is rubbed raw,
but no pearls will be formed from this graize,
no beauty found in its torture,
only pain and sorrow and lost souls
and a mournful wind that sweeps and stirs the sea into a fit of emotion,
into a writhing curling mass which is lost to all and which all is lost to,
but nevermind, for we are on the land.

And so the sea is left,
forgotten by us,
as we live,
and thrive and jump and play,
left to its own ruin,
its own regretful demise,
maybe one day it will rise from the sand that rubs it bare,
in a wave of foam and fury,
to revenge upon us who turned our backs,
left it in neglect,
in disgust,
as we ran about in our wealth,
our bellies clean of wounds
hardly rubbed by sand,
who could have offered shelter from the winds fury,
or comfort from the abrasive grit,
and deliver unto the oceans wound
a pearl of comfort
so that it may enjoy the peace and health
which we take for granted

but then
what reason for us
of two legs
to interfere in such ruin
of a thing so different and seperate to our own
so far from us
and complete in its seperation
that we may forget
and by such slip of mind
enjoy our comforts
unperturbed
uncaring
for any suffering
or demise
other than our own.
so far it is, so far
and we would much rather stay in here
warm next to our open fire
than shift  to the rough stormy sea.
they will have to save themselves
it is not our cross to bear

But then perhaps I was mistaken.
It seems we are no longer on the land.
But emersed too in the ocean,
seemingly as endless as the pain with which it binds us
they are not so far or different as they seem
This story i tell, it is for you and me both,
but mostly for the tide, the pull, the current, the sea which has dragged us down,
and been dragged down by us
through our own lack of care and
our neglect,
is dragging us and together we sink,
drowning in our foolishness,
they are not so far from us
nor so different

We waited for them to be saved
as they drowned
if only we had stopped waiting,
waiting for the sun to rise,
to turn their water into air,
a mighty pearl to free them from the wrath of the waves
the wind which traps them in dispair
and now, in turn, us
we starve
stripped of our wealth
yearning to be back
by our fire
warm and safe
in ignorance
of their reality
and suffering,
Surely if we could go back, it would be different,
we would lend some wealth, our hand of glory
gift upon them a pearl
so they may not be so troubled
and we hear, as a whisper ripped from some time long ago,
on a far distant shore, in the haze of the sun;
*Nevermind, for we are on the land.
Oct 2011 · 693
Teddy Bear
Tuesday Pixie Oct 2011
I sit lifeless, watching
unable to move except by your hand
no muscle to aid me
no heart, no nerves
yet I feel a sadness
an emptyness
as though I weren't filled with cotton
as though only this hollow shell of fur remains
my cage.
These eyes stare out through bars of reality
longing for freedom
to do
to be
to live.
Tuesday Pixie Oct 2011
Oh tooth
forsooth
you left me in my youth
of your betrayal there is proof

It's not so hard to find
It's there in the not-there kind
(It's not as if I really mind)
But your lack of existence is hard to miss

And so with a gap
A child-like toothless smile
I turn to you and haply yap
"You should have stayed a while"

Oh what fun we would have had
Eating and biting things
I didn't treat you all that bad
Until the accident that I had

And out you came
Almost gleefully
Escaping my gummy prison
Far too easily

And now I have this plastic fake
In the act of consumption
It is unable to partake
Out of my mouth it I must take.

It is not for aesthetic beauty alone
But to ensure my gap sticks around
And although I do like to moan
A better party trick I have not found

:P
Oct 2011 · 1.3k
Gossip
Tuesday Pixie Oct 2011
I somehow feel that life isn’t real.
There are fragments, I see them separate from one another –
Yet they’re all so obviously intertwined.
Apart apart apart.
Everything is set apart.
Connected yet not.
Perhaps a tree has fallen across the lines?
Its blocking the signal.
Interrupting the charge
Yet at the other end people still hear it-
Oh they hear it alright.
But it was passed on without my knowledge.
Passed on without any inkling, or desire, from my part.
And the effects are there -
Perhaps a spark jumped across just as the tree came crashing down?
Perhaps.
The other end heard the call.
They heard and they picked up.
They responded accordingly.
So when I stumble in, ready to deliver the news -
Or not deliver, to dance around the subject-
They grin and say “oh, we knew all along!
Did you think that we’d approve?”

Shocked, I stammer, pretend it’s fine
As though there was nothing wrong with that line
They giggle behind their hands in evil glee
And proceed to talk of someone other than ME
“Did you know; SHE’s pregnant?!!”
They haply yap,
Merrily waving at the poor chap.

So apart - yet so close!
The parts of my world intertwine
And sadly I glance around
As their mouths flap and fingers waggle
Oh! What marvellous company I have found!

— The End —