I didn't want to add another one; it would tip the balance.
I'd reached the perfect place, an aura of harmony amidst the chaos that was.
To tamper with that would be reckless.
Yet I did.
As I always do.
It seemed to me to be predestined that I took that step
that would ruin the joyous innocent circle
of trust
of acceptance
of happiness
which has somehow found me at its centre.
Everything that had been had led me there
so I rejoiced in my follies and ***** ups,
the things without which I would not have such glorious company
So I took that lucky number,
that large one three -
lucky to some, especially to me -
I took it and added one more.
One perilous, tiny straw
on the end of the balanced seasaw
And I waited.
I waited for it to collapse.
To come rushing down
A rush of adrenaline, panic, and joy
A sharp thud -
The fleeting moment the body has stopped but the mind has not.
The sickening non-existent stair the foot falls through in the dark.
The startled loss of something unknowingly treasured yet treasured far too much to lose.


Yet it did not.