i write my feelings
for i lack the courage to speak
coz darling my emotion
is vast as an ocean
and if telling you them
with my voice
trembles at the sight of you,
you'll drown

and i'll be left with the thought
of drowning with you
or left, rubbing my voice
against the wind

we've exchanged I love you's
how many was it?
i couldn't count
and didn't kept records
of how and when were those words
slip our tongues

we've exchanged emotions
i cry and you laugh at me
like it's a silly joke
yet you gave warmth right away
kissed my soul, deeply
it felt like  i floated in the milky way
lots of stars glimmers
at the sight of your smiles

we've exchanged love
but i think, you love me greatly
for you didn't just chose me
you love me, long before you met me

there had been days
i wish for rain to pour
so hard that i could drown
my thoughts, indoor

there had been days
i wish for the sun to shine
so bright it could scorch
my troubled soul

there had been days
i wish i had none
and stared blankly
to the reasons i couldn't shake
of being away from you
my heart withers;
thirsty to the touches
you do

i am a commissioner of love
i speak for the voices, unheard
i speak for the hearts, broken and untreated
i speak for the thoughts, rejected and frightened
i speak and stand for them;
       for i was like them
       before and until now
       still looking for places
       i could fit my heart and soul in

i speak for them and for me
       for the courage to spell words personally
       creates waves of emotions that drowns throats, unspeakably-
       than writing it with this pen and paper with me

i speak for them
       not because i'm brave enough to chant the spell
       but because i knew,
       someone is counting on me
       to do something we couldn't complete, singly

she used to call herself, Laurein
but i love it most calling her, mine
i know it's a bit cheesy,
but she's the love i couldn't define

i tried math
to find the value of her love
but i found indefinite

i tried science
to search and study
how great she is
yet even Einstein complained;
she's more than we could understand

i tried asking GOD...
and was told,
to just hold your hand, tight
with eyes gleaming with contentment and surprise
"love her for the rest of your life,
for the love she have,
is an equation made only for you"

this wasn't the place
we dreamed to live with
nor the words we promised

it has changed differently
not even close
or more than words
ours was vast and beautiful
but this, only holds
pain, the grave we fall
from hopeless wishes
and empty jars of faith

i know this wasn't
but to do something to change it
requires my soul to break

           so better leave it be forgotten
           than have myself to completely fade

i **** at everything i tried working out
every effort seems worthless
every sleepless nights
           turned to memories in a dream
           turned to shadows, untamed
           turned to ashes, unseen

then there came the you
           who called perfect my every flaw
           who fearlessly catch insults they throw;
           on me who's defenses are low
           for i never tried to let them grow
           strong and sharpen the claw
           for i only kept them below
           the surface of who i am they know.

there came the you
          who brought sunlight
          i have believed untrue
          who melted the sadness
          i have held and can't undo

there came the you
          who love me so true
          i couldn't wish for anything
          but to be only with you