my heart simply wont survive
that's what they all say
from ages 12 to 70
everyone swears by love

trust me
broken into a thousand pieces
it will still beat
you may cry at night
pray for it to stop
even plot to take your own life

but it still beats

it beats to remind you that your alive
that this is the bittersweet part of life
to have a heart

with each painful thump
a tear will fall
for days, weeks and most likely
months

can you die from a broken heart
i do believe that
you don't have to be older either
not for pain like that...

As the wind blows softly through my hair
your music echo's in my ears
the sweet melody
so soft and alluring
I miss your warm embrace
your fingers trailing down my arms
just the softest touch
I close my eyes and I know
the moonlight shines down on us
your fingers lace with mine
and here
on nights like this
so dark and windy
I can feel your touch

Tonight is my night
the moon is full and bright
hiding somewhere among the clouds
here soon it will come out
the wind grows strong
but theres a softness in the air
rain will come soon

If I close my eyes I can see you
your playing for me on that piano
your favorite tune
the one you always hummed
I can see you playing through the window
are the curtains open just for me...
or maybe their open for you...

Tonight is my night
I'm dancing for myself
drop by drop
I feel the rain
slow at first
then it really starts to fall

Cradling myself back and fourth
my heads going to explode
nothings working
I can't control
...anything

the TV remote flies and hits the wall
its in pieces
so that's what the inside looks like

i want to rip my skin off
there's a small flame burning in my stomach
causing it to hurt
to slowly eat me away

It spreads through-out my body like a fire
my blood boils
sitting in front of a fan
I can still feel the heat rising

my thoughts are buzzing to quick to process
I simply don't know what to do
my head is heavy
a headache's rising
I'm still rocking back and fourth
what is it about this motion?

I'm scared and alone in a darkened room
waiting for it all to end
waiting to feel my heart beat
it just feels heavy
like a weight sinking into the ocean

I'm crazy
am i?

my head hurts
I can't breath
my eyes are blurred with tears
no one can help me

I'm loosing this battle
my sanity is slipping away
the thought of death brings more tears

I still can't feel my heart
but I know it must be there
why can't I feel it beating?
these are my words
not a prayer

I'm drowning in a darkened sea
the night is cold and lonely
no clouds or stars
just the moon and me
my only witness
shedding light down upon me
so I don't die in the dark
I gasp for air
feeling my body being weighted down
with tears falling
the sea kisses them away
help me help me I cry
but no one hears me
there's just the moon
watching the sea strangle me.

In the bottom of the sea lays your heart
or so they thought
but you secretly hang it on the edge of your sleeve

you put up a front
being the cheerleader
you were a drunken puppet torn in two

you danced to his tune
his words and abuse
you knew better

you hide behind the *****
I know you don't mean to
its a reflex to grab that bottle
a town curse

you put your secrets down in notebooks
hidden from the world
your thoughts and wishes
hopes and dreams

nothings petty in your notebook
you speak the cold hard truth
when he took his life
you quietly raised your glass

a tiny flame rose in your soul
this is what he deserved
because of him you could never belong
to his 'secret club'
you were just his lover
you loved him
but because of him lives were torn

your life was slightly spared
a torn and damaged soul
your mission now
is to save his mother...

You amaze me
in the most unappetizing way
my heart stops and my stomach growls
you'd think I just consumed something nasty

on the contrary you just called my name

the thought of burning my ears is a good 2sec thought

we can't talk like this
it never could happen
you and I conversing

my head hurts just by taking in your liquor perfume
from here on out I'm gone
I'm a walking zombie
For the safety of my soul I made sure it's locked away

If I can ignore your hurtful words
then freedom is in my grasp
the irritating part is when you turn
you set a trap for me
attacking yourself
putting words in my mouth

guilt use to kick in right about then
you would win in an instant
and I'd feel like ****

but that is what use to be
now I know better
than to let you get to me
cause of you I'm stronger
...colder...harder...

all your words now go in one ear and out another