There are many types of introverts

Some truly like to be alone
People drain their energy
And clog their mind
So they stay away from others

Some like having friends
But in smaller groups
They spend time with people
But only certain people

Some people are forced introverts
They have difficulty communicating
Or other people don’t like them
So they remain alone
Even if they don’t want to be

I’m all of these
And it’s hard

I’m in love
I have dreams for this love
But I keep them dreams

I don’t act on my dreams
My dreams are perfect in my mind

I fear that if I bring them into the world
They will be crushed
And lose their perfection

This goes for many of my dreams in general.

I want to have deep conversations
I want to have personal connections
I want to be emotional
I want to be passionate
I want to have loving, close friends

But everyone else has enough friends
Or doesn’t want friends
Or just doesn’t like me
I started too late
I flew solo as a child
And in adolescence, I suffer

The close bonds that lock friends together
Also lock me out

So I stay alone
Because I am the only one who will listen to me

I think lots of thoughts in my mind
And build them up
And grow them
Until they are
Stories
Opinions
Theories
And more
But they stay there
Unsorted
Tangled
Like what happens to
Cords
Wire coat hangers
Bra straps
(I’m looking at you, Maroon.)
And when I try to write
Or speak
My words come out all wrong
For my thoughts are
Tangled
Unsorted
And so, I am unproductive
And remain mostly silent

Its starts as a spark
In the mind
And takes on form
Nouns, verbs, adjectives, adverbs
They become words, sentences, more
They flow to the mouth
And through the lips
Searching for ears to enter
To reach another’s mind
But
All ears are closed, or busy
The words are unwanted
So they return to the mind of the speaker
So the lips are shut
So the words stay in
And fester there, trapped, forevermore