I'm about to go to bed
Maybe I'll dream of you
Writing about you is new
Now thats all said
Please message me back
Please cut me some slack
I want to know you more
Your messages I cant ignore

As I look at your grave, I start to cry
All I can ask is why
Why were you taken?
Did it have to be you?
And if I'm not mistaken
You were only 52
Taken to young, why God why?
Why did you let my grandfather die?
You took a good man away from our family
Is this the way it has to be?
Can I not see him for even just a day?
I don't think you're listening every time I pray
Maybe I'm foolish maybe it's all just lies
I'm starting to think you're the devil in disguise

I keep drinking every night
I need a drink just to write
The words of a drunk man
To the same bottle he ran
Sip after sip he would write some more
Sip after sip the words did pore
Reading these words the truth I know it
I am the alcoholic poet

I want to write for you
But you're not here
I don't know what to do
Can't see things clear
Please give me a sign
Bring back my light
I want to make you mine
You're the reason I write

Drunk again so I start writing
All these dark thoughts I keep fighting
She starts smoking to cure the pain
Guess we have different prescriptions for pain

We were just talking
But it didn't take long for you to start walking
Gone, just left, blanked what I said
But now youre gone I wish I was dead

I cut my wrists again
Then blame it on the drink
I look at the scars every now and then
But I don't know what to think
See the blood keep dripping
All down my arm
Thoughts keep slipping
From happiness to harm
Just want the pain to all go away
Hope the blood will stop spilling
One day

Drinking myself numb again
Night after night
God I know this path is wrong
But why does it feel so right?
Sat here alone
Slowly going insane
Drinking to just try numb the pain

I said I'd leave you alone
And not message you no more
But your notification is the only one I want to be shone
With you not texting me now
The wounds still sore
I'm waiting by the phone
I cant wait much more

When I'm lost in my mind
I come back to this place
But all I can find
Is your beautiful face
Why are you here?
Can you please leave?

You read my poems
That makes me so happy
You enjoy my words
Even if they're sappy
I'm glad you like the poems I do
I'll keep writing these poems just for you

I'm waiting for you
On the other end of the phone
It's weird when you don't respond
I honestly feel so alone
Just a simple text makes my day
Added to all you type and say
Lost in your words
And all you write
Waiting for you
On this lonely night

Life never goes the way you plan
But it's time for me to set up and be a man
Face all of my dreaded fears
Dark thoughts I've been hiding all these years
When you last saw me I was a broken mess
Hiding all of the pain and stress
Look at me now finally I've grown
Not the same man you thought you have known

I didn't want a relationship until I met you
It's weird to say but I don't know what to do
I want to talk and text any chance I get
A soul like yours I could never forget
Even though I don't know you very well
Any second without talking to you is like a living hell
If you get this message please call me back
A day without you is like a heart attack

Tears leave my mind and heart
But not my eyes
How did this all start?
Through deceit and lies
Lying to myself about how I truly feel
You told me you loved me
Was that love even real?
Or was I blind and just couldn't see
Until I realise all my fears
Were clouded by my falling tears

She broke me in two
Shattered like glass
Now what can I do?
Will this pain ever pass?
I lost myself trying to please this girl
I will never be the same
Falling deeper and deeper in a downward swirl
Maybe I did this to myself, maybe I'm to blame

I finally lost my mask, finally I can be me
The person I was scared for everyone to see
Hes finally out, look at him shine
Just kidding, I had that mask to make you think I was fine
Inside I'm dying, so I hid from my truth
Deep seeded issues that came from my youth
Buts all out now, you can see who I was scared to be
Finally the mask is off and now you can see me

These pills took away my ability to feel
Now I dont know whats fake and whats real
Cutting myself because I need the relief
When Mum saw my arm she was in disbelief
I know I shouldn't, its not goof for my health
But when I look in the mirror I dont recognise myself

Laying here in my room staring at the ceiling
Feeling numb from all the drugs just trying to find a feeling
Praying for a better day when I wake up tomorrow
I can't keep spending these long ol' nights just living in my sorrow
So I take sip of another beer
Wake up in the morning and I see things clear
This old town just ain't good for me
Time to pack my bag and leave real fast
100mph just to escape my past
No idea where I'm gonna go

You said that I'm different, I'm just not the same
We both know the problem, it's the drink to blame
I'm not the man you met all those years ago
Turned into a stranger, someone you don't even know
Looking in the mirror, I know this to be true
I became the man I was all because of you
But something just happend, I guess I lost my way
Maybe I'll become that man again.... One day

On the radio I heard our song start to play
Suddenly taken back to that faithful day
When we danced all night to that song on repeat
Learning all the words and remembering the beat
The song brought love and joy, sadness and heartache
Maybe listening to it again was a mistake
Even though listening to it maybe be wrong
It will always be our song

How did I get like this?
Trapped in a dark abyss
My mind is clouded, heavy thoughts like rain
Numb to the point that I don't feel pain
Mum said time will heal me
But she doesn't understand the pain I see
It's hard to explain when you feel so low
I just want this dark abyss to let me go
I can feel it getting worse, day by day
As I'm writing this now, I don't know what to say
Maybe I'm broken, a lost puzzle piece
Everyone getting put together while I slowly decrease
I'm scared to ask for help because I think I'll look weak
I think it's because I'm a man that I don't want to speak
I guess I'll keep pushing and see how long I last
I never thought at 21 I'd want to die so fast

It's all coming back to me
How I used to be
Life before you was just a distant memory
But I'm slowly falling back into place
Hoping the pain you brought will erase
And the man in the mirror will once again be my true face
It's all coming back to me
Slowly but surely
All the scars you left are finally healing
The love I thought we had is just a distant feeling
I'm moving on and trying to grow
It's all coming back to me, the person I used to know

I guess it's time I let you go
Moving on so that I can grow
But in my heart I will always see
A love story that was never meant to be
So I say goodbye to me and you
And all the pain we couldn't work through
I guess it's time for me to grow
Moving on because I let you go

I feel sad but I cant even cry
So much mental pain, but all I cant ask is why
Why am I like this? Why me?
Maybe its the way life is suppose to be

My light is slowly fading, lying on the ground
I had to do it while no one was around
I hear sirens in the distance, I they're not for me
My light is slowly fading, this is how it's supposed to be
Looking at the wreckage, I did this to myself
This is what happens when you don't care for your mental health
But this is what I wanted, to end all my pain
Twisted dark thoughts that I had in my brain
My light is slowly fading, I guess the end is near
Tell my family I love them and that I died without fear

I'm still waiting for the day when you will come here
Maybe god will guide you or maybe your mind will steer
Holding out hope for something might not come true
But even after everything I'm still in love with you
Maybe I'm being foolish by waiting for your love
I just need god to help me if he's listening up above
Please come back to my arms and I'll never let go
I still love you and I need to let you know

I hope in another life we're still together
Maybe we actually reached forever
We worked on our issues hand in hand
We completed everything that we had planned
Another life me hopefully made you his wife
I hope we're still together, in another life

My wrist are bleeding and yet I don't cry
I did this to myself and I don't know why
Maybe it's the pain I hold in my heart
Every since the day you ripped it apart
Punishing myself for how we ended
I hope one day my heart will be mended
And the pain I'm causing myself will finally be ended

Do you treat him like you used to treat me
Or is he a better guy than I'll ever be
I used to drive hours just to get yelled at
I bet he doesn't ever get that
Have you realised what you did and finally changed ways
While I'm all alone lost in this scary maze
Because now he's got you and living a perfect life
While I'm looking at my wrists holding a knife

Get out of my head, I'm begging you now
Wish I could stop thinking about you but I don't know how
So I keep writing in hopes it helps me heal
But I the pain wont go and it feels so real
I want to drink to forget
Instead I cut myself and regret
You're hunting my mind, please leave my head
Because I know if you don't then I'll end up dead

I keep cutting myself to numb the pain
Because I cant seem to get you out of my brain
Why is my mind destroying me like this?
Maybe if I end it all I'll reach eternal bliss

I miss you so much, and it kills me to say
I've started cutting myself almost everyday
I hate that we cant talk and hate myself so much
All I want is to feel your touch
I know we toxic and argued a lot
But it kills me know another guy is in my spot
You probably hate me and I understand why
But there's no point living without you, I might as well die
Just want to here to tell me its going to be ok
Because I'm really struggling to live another day
I'll keep pushing in hopes we'll get back together
But if tomorrow doesn't come then just know I'll love you forever

Why do I keep looking a pictures of you? Maybe its because I cant let go
All I want to do is call you to tell you I still love you more than you know
I want to make things right and have you back in my life
Because deep in my heart I wanted to make you my wife
I miss you so much that its making cry
I cried even harder when I saw you with another guy
People keep telling to move on and forget about you
But you and I both know thats something I cannot do
Lifes gotten so dark since I lost my light
I hope you I think about you every night

I ignored my depression for many many years
Substance abuse took away all my fears
But it made me feel worse in the end
It's hard to let go when the substance is you're only friend

I used to write poems telling you I loved you
Now I write poems about how much I miss you
I used to write till you got sick of my words
Now I'm writing words you'll probably never read
I used to write poems with all my heart and soul
Now I struggle to write like I used to
I used to write poems all about you
Now I write poems about a fading memory

There was this girl who I loved so dear
When I held her in my arms I had nothing to fear
We weren't both prefect, we'd argue, we'd fight
But just her love would get me through the night
Even though she's gone I still love her for sure
But it's hard knowing she's not my girl anymore

You cause the pain, yet you're also the cure
Sometimes I'd doubt it our love was pure
Two broken souls who found love together
We were both foolish if we'd thought it'd last forever

My tormented mind will never rest
I will all aways feel second best
Battered and bruised all throughout my life
Thoughts cut deeper than a knife
I hate myself and I dont know why
Just waiting for the day I die
A lifeless husk just surviving day by day
Praying for the pain to go away
My tormented mind is slowly dying
Every day I feel like crying
Sometime I think I might be insane
Why do I feel this pain
Can't find a way out, guess I'm blind
Trapped inside my tormented mind

Why are you still here in my mind
We broke up a month ago, yet you're all I find
All the arguments and fights broke me in two
But for some strange reason I can only think of you
I keep acting reckless to try and forget
But loosing you is my biggest regret
I hate the fact we left our future behind
Maybe that's why you're still in my mind

I hate myself, so ******* much
Because I live in a world where I can't feel your touch
I'm broken, scarred, damaged beyond repair
Trapped in this lonely pit of despair
I miss you so much, but we can't go back
Falling for you again would take me off track
Maybe one day I might hold you again
As a much better man than you knew back then

You found someone knew, guess you moved on fast
Maybe you're trying to forget our past
How can you move on like I was never there?
I cant seem to move on and that's not fair
Missing you so much, I'm lost in despair
No matter what I do I see you everywhere

The sky never ends and nore does my love
Hoping one day it will hit you from above
Because your not here, I'm living in fear
I wish you was near because I miss you my dear
I'll find you again, never let you go
I love you more than you will ever know

We said forever, forever came fast
The love we had I really wanted to last
I keep wanting to call you and sort everything out
Apologies for getting angry, I didn't mean to shout
I wish I didn't drive off, and instead tried talking to you
Because I'd do anything to try make forever come true

You're the most addictive drug I've ever tried
Loving you was an addiction that I couldn't ever hide
We cried, we fought, we laughed and loved so hard
Maybe a little too hard that in the end it left us both scard
But now you're gone the effects won't disappear
I need a fix for this addiction but you're no longer here
But the ghost of you still lingers inside my head
Imagining life without you is something I dread
So I'll wait for you because you know I'll come straight away
I'll love you forever is all I want to say

I never love anyone the way I loved you
You were like a drug and that I was madly addicted to
I miss you so much, I can't believe we ended
We both had problems that we could have mended
I know you'll never read this but I mean everything I write
If you we're to call tomorrow I'd already be there last night
You said you push the people you love away
Yeah we we're toxic but something kept telling me to stay
You're stuck in my head and I don't know why
I really wish we could give us another try
Fresh start for both you and me
Maybe we'll meet again sometime, just have to wait and see

We were toxic, yes I know
A love that we should not have let grow
But why am I finding it so hard to let go
I still hold so much love for you
I honestly do know what to do
We weren't perfect and we both had issues
Shed so many tears and used too many tissues
You know if you called I come back straight away
Because you're all I want at the end of the day
I wish we could have worked on our problems and solved them together
Because I still love you and I'll love you forever

I still love you even after last night
I still love you even when we fight
You can be hurtful sometimes and yet I still love you
I can't explain why but I just do
You can be a pain in the *** but I still loved you none the less
I know we had a lot of problems we needed to address
I fell in love with you and now I'm addicted, stuck like glue
No Matter what happened in life I still love you

Born into a world of torment and sin
Born into a world where you will never win
Lost in the dark with not way out
Speak proud with a voice that will never shout
Hold strong because the path is very clear
Keep on fighting and never give into fear
Chin up high and fight till the end
Chin up high through the dark times my friend

I hate my brain, why cant I just let go
I know you changed but my mind said no
I regret what I said and how I acted
All of my actions I wish could be retracted
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, because I still love you
But the battle inside my head kept bleeding through
I know I'm bad with words and I should have spoke more
I know I ruined everything and the wound is still sore
I hate myself because I let my mind win the fight
I hate now knowing you'll be lonely at night
I hate how I let emotions get in the way
I wish I could go back to that faithful day
When I got off the train and saw your face
My head fell silent and my heart skipped a pace
I hate myself and I know you now hate me
My actions spoke louder than words and I'm sorry
I'm not asking for forgiveness, just wanted to write down what I couldn't say
I'm really sorry