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i see the storm clouds rolling in
should probably head back in
but my afternoon has just begun
and i didn't get to see anyone
i'm being stubborn and careless
just to be out on the terrace
soaking up the last of dancing rays
in the last of my suffering days
i really oughta close the window
but i like how it feels when the wind blows
i didn't feel anything for a long long time
and its selfish but who cares if i die
at least i died free
if it were following my wishes
the last you'd see of me
congratulations and farewell
oh the stories we both could tell
but that would be in bad taste

goodbye and good riddance
you grew fond of my permissance
and now you recoil seeing my face

whatever happened
may never be clear
if erasure is what you want
for the last 5 years
that's honestly really sad

i can't stop you
but i can grow on
when you're ready
i'll be long gone
and it'll be just too ******* bad
i didn't want to move on, but i am. it's weird to feel empty looking at her, when i used to feel so much love. but what can't we do? no negative wishes, just respectful distance. the least i deserve, no?
if i hurt myself
will you flinch
we used to be like one
but now you're one of them
what happened
to us

i play with my food
then throw it away
the idea of nurturing myself disgusts me
and you're doing great
it's not the same
when there's no us

and maybe it's wrong
to carry on this way
but i don't feel weightless anymore
and my heart thinks you're to blame
one day i'm angry
and the next i'm depressed
today i've given up
hollow in the chest
sometimes i'm gracious
and i can see the good in it all
but today i'm feeding the negativity
i cannot say it's not your fault

and i hate it
but it's your fault
i shouldn't say it
but IT IS YOUR FAULT

π˜ͺ𝘡 𝘯𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘩𝘒π˜₯ 𝘡𝘰 𝘣𝘦 𝘡𝘩π˜ͺ𝘴 𝘸𝘒𝘺
when he gives you half the effort
i hope you go back to last year
and remember the good times we had

he could never do it better
but that's neither here nor there
hope you're happy with what you have

but i also hope you regret some things
and that you miss me all the time
that when you blow those candles out tonight
i'm there in the back of your mind
if you even get cake or a celebration
maybe you probably might
but it wont ever be the same
cause i gave everything to see you smile

and you wont ever say if you do
because that would mean you ruined us
and you don't want me to be right

i was never against you
but you heard what you wanted
left without even a fight

just radio silence
and i didn't even get to know why
i figure i bruised your ego somehow
or you found someone easier to like
and instead of being honest with yourself
you abandoned ship and broke your promises
because if you dont need me anymore
it's not a crime to find new accomplices

but tonight when you're one year older
and every year until you lose count of them all
i  hope you remember the day you turned twenty five

be it demolished or sober
the memories right there with you
when they're singing out of tune
the last time you had me in your life
i never said i could walk on water
or that my feelings wouldn't be a bother
but you cant hide your disappointment
as i get swept into the current

as the tide crashes it swallows me whole
and i dont think you've ever been this cold
just watch as it carries me away
bitter to the very last wave

blaming me for what i wouldn't be
acting blindsided when i never missed a beat
trying to tell you how to steer back into safe waters
you couldn't even bother

so as you spit on an empty grave
cursing those who speak my name
remember who hurt who
the person you should be projecting on is you
not trying to be insensitive with the title. think exasperation πŸ₯²
 Apr 2020 Thomas Burge
Laiba
I'm so happy now
I have snapped out of my Depresion
My anxiety has waved goodbye
Life is beauful
People are accepting
I only cry like once a day
























I lied.
I lied
 Feb 2020 Thomas Burge
Laiba
I used to be this person
Who thought she would make
The one person she loved the most happy

But now i can't even
Make myself happy
 Jan 2020 Thomas Burge
Laiba
How much I have cried in the night
Nobody knows
I have cried in the loneliness
Forigve me
What kind of crime is this
Why should anyone share my pain
Or the thorns in my heart
When all this was written in my fate
Sad hurt
A lot
 Jan 2020 Thomas Burge
Laiba
A happy day in an expectation world would be a day with no tears
A day where I could embrace my mama
And tell her I love her
And I am sorry for not protecting her
Stay in her comfort arms sleep in it
A happy happy day for me in reality
Would be if I died
And nobody cried
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