I'm scared
And I know I shouldn't
But I'm scared
Please hold me
Because I'm scared
Of...
Everything
Literally everything
I'm scared

Everything's wrong
But I know it's not
The future is happening
How can I make it stop?
I'm scared to death
I'm scared to live
I hate myself
I take a breath
Look in the mirror
I bite my tongue
I feel the fear
Plunge so deep
Even before it comes
Anxiety keeps me
From climbing the steep

I wish I was an artist
I wish I could paint you
Using every colour known to man
And hang you up on my wall
For everyone to see
I wish I was a singer
I wish I could write you a song
Play it on repeat
For everyone to hear
I wish I was a poet
I wish I could write about you
People need to know what these feelings mean
For every drop of blood I bleed
Is a drop of love that I hold for you
I write and I write
Because I cant contain this
I wish I wish I wish

I know this is right because you love me for my wrongs
Once lost in this massive scary world
My hearts found where it belongs
Warm and safe in your arms I now lay
I fall more and more in love with you
Day by day

I know I'm not prefect
Sin after sin
I could write a whole ledger
But where to begin?

I am a poet
That's lost all meaning
Words come together
Like a child crying, screaming
Dreaming of a way to make these words feel new
I am a poet
That doesn't know what to do
Writings not the same
It just feels different
Maybe the passions been tamed
Or maybe I'm just different
I am a poet
Or maybe I'm not
I used to write loads
Now I can't write a lot
If you were to ask me what I am I'd tell you I forgot
Am I a poet?

This river of pain bends and winds
I shouldn't have jumped in
Where were the signs?
Dragged by the current
Drowning in my sorrow
Lucky if I ever see tomorrow
Begging for air as I get dragged down deeper
Why does it feel like it's getting steeper?
The rapids of anger?
Waterfall of death?
Will I ever get a chance to catch my breath?
Try as I might to swim to the top
I feel close to the approaching drop
Begging, praying to escape this muddle
Clawing, fighting, this river wont beat me
I cling to dry land and what do I see?
The river of pain was only a puddle