if i hurt myself
will you flinch
we used to be like one
but now you're one of them
what happened
to us

i play with my food
then throw it away
the idea of nurturing myself disgusts me
and you're doing great
it's not the same
when there's no us

and maybe it's wrong
to carry on this way
but i don't feel weightless anymore
and my heart thinks you're to blame
one day i'm angry
and the next i'm depressed
today i've given up
hollow in the chest
sometimes i'm gracious
and i can see the good in it all
but today i'm feeding the negativity
i cannot say it's not your fault

and i hate it
but it's your fault
i shouldn't say it
but IT IS YOUR FAULT

𝘪𝘵 𝘯𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘩𝘢𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘸𝘢𝘺

I finally lost my mask, finally I can be me
The person I was scared for everyone to see
Hes finally out, look at him shine
Just kidding, I had that mask to make you think I was fine
Inside I'm dying, so I hid from my truth
Deep seeded issues that came from my youth
Buts all out now, you can see who I was scared to be
Finally the mask is off and now you can see me

These pills took away my ability to feel
Now I dont know whats fake and whats real
Cutting myself because I need the relief
When Mum saw my arm she was in disbelief
I know I shouldn't, its not goof for my health
But when I look in the mirror I dont recognise myself

Laying here in my room staring at the ceiling
Feeling numb from all the drugs just trying to find a feeling
Praying for a better day when I wake up tomorrow
I can't keep spending these long ol' nights just living in my sorrow
So I take sip of another beer
Wake up in the morning and I see things clear
This old town just ain't good for me
Time to pack my bag and leave real fast
100mph just to escape my past
No idea where I'm gonna go

You said that I'm different, I'm just not the same
We both know the problem, it's the drink to blame
I'm not the man you met all those years ago
Turned into a stranger, someone you don't even know
Looking in the mirror, I know this to be true
I became the man I was all because of you
But something just happend, I guess I lost my way
Maybe I'll become that man again.... One day

On the radio I heard our song start to play
Suddenly taken back to that faithful day
When we danced all night to that song on repeat
Learning all the words and remembering the beat
The song brought love and joy, sadness and heartache
Maybe listening to it again was a mistake
Even though listening to it maybe be wrong
It will always be our song

How did I get like this?
Trapped in a dark abyss
My mind is clouded, heavy thoughts like rain
Numb to the point that I don't feel pain
Mum said time will heal me
But she doesn't understand the pain I see
It's hard to explain when you feel so low
I just want this dark abyss to let me go
I can feel it getting worse, day by day
As I'm writing this now, I don't know what to say
Maybe I'm broken, a lost puzzle piece
Everyone getting put together while I slowly decrease
I'm scared to ask for help because I think I'll look weak
I think it's because I'm a man that I don't want to speak
I guess I'll keep pushing and see how long I last
I never thought at 21 I'd want to die so fast