I didn’t need this city to create magic.
I needed me - fully unleashed, raw and unapologetic.

LA was just the place I finally allowed that to manifest.

Some things we feel are real.
Some are not.
The phantom phone vibration in your pocket.
The effects of the placebo pill.
The spiritual awakening.
The new disciple who was touched by God.
We can feel anything if we want it bad enough.

“It’s so close I can feel it.”

Are the hymns sung in every pew in vain?
Are we all just trying to feel something?


But then again, who knows.
Your lips feel Holy to me.

I am not damaged.
I am loved and lovable.
I will continue to open myself to love.
Radiate it.
Seek it out.
Call it out.
I will be the love I am searching for.

They said they just knew.

“I knew they were the one.“

What a powerful thing to know.

How much uncertainty gets taken out of life. Because they knew.

The bar is set high.
Do you know?
Do you know like they knew?
Don’t you want... to know?

You reminded me I haven’t found what I’ve always wanted...yet.

If the me of the past, present and future could sit me down for a cup of tea.
Oh god how interesting would that be. What would she tell me?
What parts of me are real and which ones are just phases?
How do I find my “true self” and does even that, go through changes?
Is there no right me except the one that can handle the now?
Or is there a best me, that is trying to break out?

Run run run just as fast as you can
You can’t catch me
I’m
Chasing after my next win.
While the enthusiasm I have for my current venture soaks in slowly like syrup into the cedar floor.
Why do I love to run so much?
Why can’t I be happy at a truce?
Why can’t I stand in resolve at the finish line?
Why does the finish line never feel like the real finish line?
There must be another right?
This can’t be it?... Right?