Looking for comfort
On the screen of a device that won’t give it to me
Fatigue finally wins

I had this dream where I was recalling stories of us. Of all the things we’d done together.

I was sitting on the side of a bathtub, telling my mother.

How we met, how we’d always been intertwined, how we grew up together.

And then I say, and then we moved into together, and had kids built a family.

And my mom responded “Right, just not in this timeline.”

And I realized I was my single self, not with him, not with his kids. And I was recalling us from another life.

I hope you have a favorite tree.
I hope learn to cook your grandma’s dishes.
I hope you realize at least once when you are talking to an old aunt that you should just slow down and listen to her ramble about the neighborhood gossip knowing you won’t always have her.
I hope you look forward to dessert and bring out the bottle of champagne you were saving for a special occasion, because life is a special occasion.

If an even match cannot exist
Let the underdog be me

I do not mind punching above my class

If there must be fighter and a settler
Let me become black and blue

Until my lip is swollen and the count is through

If there is a hill to climb
Let me grab my hiking boots and stick

I will climb to the top if no other reason than to take a pic

If you tell me I can’t
Let me promise you, I must

There is something about a new challenge that if not taken on makes me want to combust

& most importantly
if equal affection cannot be
Let the more loving one, be me

Maybe you just always need someone to be kinda sad about. Someone to think about when all too well comes on.

The goodbye that flashes into memory when you watch a romantic movie.
Maybe people need that.
Maybe I need that.

The void will always be filled by someone until there is an equally powerful opposite emotion to take its place.

It always surprises me when I somehow still shed tears for you.

I keep thinking it will be the last time. Then it happens again.

My mom prays for me a lot.
Which is good.
If God has favorites, I know he’d listen to her more than me.
She deserves a direct line.