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Jaimien Tolbert Feb 2019
There are 24 hours in a day
60 minutes in an hour
60 seconds in a minute
But it will only take me a minute
To translate what's going on in my mind

Feelings
My feelings feel like they are just peelings of what's to come
And the ceiling is no where near the love I have
And there is no trick or scheme

Here's 60 seconds so you can see

A piece of what's inside of me
Jaimien Tolbert Oct 2018
Sometimes I look into the clouds
Trying to pick out what each one could be
Is that a fish, a flower, a plane,
It can be anything you want when you're daydreaming

N

I daydream all the time
Especially when I'm walking outside
Basking in the sunlight
Listening to the birds sing there songs so beautifully

N

Daydreaming is an escape
A get away

Y

A way to separate you from the world for 2 seconds

L

But when you come back to reality
You realize they are only dreams
Dreams aren't real....they are dreams

E

I'm stuck in a daydream
The one thing that makes me happy...
Isn't in reach
And I constantly have to daydream
To close the distance

C

I'm my dreams I have to lie
And bend the truth
Just to bring the one thing
That makes me happy
Closer to me

O

I don't like doing it but is the only way

J

Dreams aren't real...but is so nice to daydream
Jaimien Tolbert Oct 2018
Girls
They make the world go round
But right now mine is spinning in reverse
Its like everything that they want they don't want
Everything they think they never thought
Everything theyve done they've never done
But it's still my fault

You told me from the beginning you never wanted to be intimate but that night tells a completely different story and it's still my fault

You never text me anymore but you read mine as if I was writing a book about my life and you were interested in seeing how bad you could percieve it

You tell me everything is ok and we'll be fine but it's not and you said it yourself why didn't you tell me in the beginning ...
Because it's my fault

How does that make any sense
I'm trying to tell you what happened....you wanted it...you were more or less starting it yourself....I never once had the thought that tonight was the night...but it's still my fault

It's crazy now that you don't wanna even talk to me
Nor do you want to even be around me
And that is my fault??

I'm sorry but this time it's not and I can't sit here and say it was because of you not being able to control who you are when you're under the influence

I'm not saying anyone can but I wasn't sober so it's my fault because I was drunk and so we're you???
Yup it's my fault

Us guys we do take the blame for alot of things and I did this time because I knew it wasn't all that big of a deal and not that you made it one but now it's something that is stuck to my name because you can't get it out of your head
That's my fault???

I love you to much to say it's your fault when it is but I'm a guy and what do guys do... Take the blame no matter what because girls make the world go round

Mine is just spinning in reverse
Jaimien Tolbert Nov 2018
I can't sleep
With you on my mind
But I'm glad you are
Because I need you to get me through the night

But it hurts only being able to think of you
Because I know that if I want to see you
We both have to lie and sneak around
Just to say hi

The times we're together
It always ends up being a bit of a fright
Because she tells me to leave you alone
But I know I won't and that's alright

I hope that you stick around
Because I will too, but just to the side

Through the stuggles I'll be waiting in the moonlight
Waiting For you to arrive with a smile that just shines

You make everyday a great one
And that's not a lie
But I'll be waiting for the day
you can sleep with me in my bed at night
Jaimien Tolbert Oct 2018
Memories
can be short and sweet
Just like that piece of candy
you just swallowed
You remember how good it was
till the last bite
...And then as time goes on you forget about how amazing that one
piece
Of candy
was...
Jaimien Tolbert Feb 2019
Love is crazy when you first find it
But when you do you cherrish every last moment
As I've always done because
My heart belongs to you

I know our whole relationship has been a secret
But it doesn't mean it's not real
The love for you I have
If I lose I won't heal

I can't take you away right now
They will bring you back home
And you'd have no choice
Untill the end of the year has come

But a home for you...there will always be
Open arms for you.....to lay in-between
Feelings for you...that no one can get between
A love for you....that will never fade into the sea

I love you and only you I need you to see
I love you and only you I need you to think
I love you and only you I need you to sing

.....Because my heart belongs to you

....And no one can change that about me
Jaimien Tolbert Nov 2018
People hate pain
But it's what helps us learn
Feels like a flame
Close enough to make you burn

You can't run away
because it spreads like a wild fire
All you feel is pain
Till you put water to the flame
Jaimien Tolbert Jan 2019
Its twelve midnight
Listen to the grandfather clock chime
About to walk out my house
I really Gotta be quiet this time

Creep to the window
To see what's outside
And All I see
Are the stars and the moonlight

Time to go....
Now I'm on the move
Quiet and subtle
Like walking on the moon

Through the yards in front of me
In the shadows no one can see
But the moonlight
Its enough for me

Almost twelve thirty now
Ive made my travel
In hopes that
You will meet me at the end of the gravel

I stand there looking and listening
Waiting for a sign
Then I see a shooting star
And I think about you again

I know your coming
So I'll wait in the meantime
Just to see your face one more time
Under the stars and the moonlight once again

I love you...
Jaimien Tolbert Oct 2018
I have to talk to you about everything
I know it's not alot but it's meant the world to me
Just sit down and listen to what I have to say
Stay....don't leave

Im Sobbing
Because I know how you think
And you how percieve the world around you
And I'm trying to give you something new
Something That you may have never thought you could  find

But right now something feels off and I know it's me not you.
It's how I've created something that can't be just left alone
And I know it's just sitting in the back of your head
Sometimes I think it makes you want to be left alone

But I'm here to tell you I want what could be
Anything that involves just you and me
So I'm asking you one time
Hopefully I'm not annoying you but
How can I tell you how much you mean to me
Stay....don't leave

Let me elaborate just a little bit on my question
This is kinda more of a explanation
but we'll roll with it anyway

I try to tell you all the time how amazing you are
And everything you mean to me
I've given you my heart to hold
And I see you holding it gracefully
To the point where i can feel your hugs even though your not next to me

Wait....don't look away just yet I'm trying
To tell you everything
Don't pack your bags just yet
Stay....don't leave

Yes we have only known each other for a week and memories were made that will last for ever and be cherished for the rest of my life
But I don't want those to be the only memories we both can percieve
I want to have more where I can see you smile at the end of everything
Here I go at trying something fancy
Hopefully I don't embarrass myself to much but but do laugh if you please sorry for the rhyming I'm not the best at this but here's my shot
Stay....don't leave

I wants us to be like birds in the sky playing around flying through the trees singing our song
For every one to see
As if we were performing in front of people
Reading a poem about the life of you and me

I told you before I want to hold you up on the highest mountain because I want you to know everything that we have done wasn't worth nothing every thing has meant something but the top of that mountain will only be the beginning

I just want to know how you feel about me and everything in between
if some thing changed tell me I'm not one to scream
Ive thought about you countless times and especially the times you sang to me

Made me realize you were the one for me
The most perfect girl in the world and
One more thing
We can be great and I know time is what it's gonna take but baby please please please
stay...
don't leave....
Jaimien Tolbert Oct 2018
Welcome to the black hole of the very essense of life called the darkness
We have all kinds of attractions
Spine tickling hallucinations
Motivation scaring thoughts
Life threating whispering
And so much more

Here you will stay for the rest of your life
unless your one of those light seekers
Who have left and never came back
So sad
Dont Be afraid of taking steps here
One step here could break you and you will feel like everything you have disappears isn't that tragic
We have plenty of rides the coaster of sorrows
Features depression at it's finest I've never seen some one ride it and not feel worthless
Or maybe rollercoasters aren't your thing
The Farris wheel of lonelyness
It has one seat and 10 empty cages
You can't feel yourself moving but you know that no one is around you or riding with you and no one will
Doesn't that sound so nice

Enjoy your time in the darkness we hope you'll never leave so we can torture you forever and ever
Jaimien Tolbert Nov 2018
If I walk outside right now
The sun would have no issues
Shining down on my back
Like I was being carried by the sun

Felt like I didn't have to walk on my own anymore
I could let the flow of the wind just take me for a ride
Feel the air run through my hair and take my breathe away

Wow now I'm next to a tornado
The wind is blowing harder and harder
Now I can't stand on my own two feet anymore
Im being thrown into things

Cars, houses, and big *** buildings
I can't control or see anything I'm just flying in a never ending circle that can't be stopped
There's too much dust in my eye

I wipe it away
I can't see 5 ft into distance
I'm sitting in the middle of street
no houses or life to be

I'm telling you this not him
Remember
He can't see
The rain is pooring to hard

£££~~~~~work in progress~~~~~£££
Jaimien Tolbert Feb 2019
Dear Leigh,

Time is something we all beg and plead for more of
But the only reason we ask is because maybe that's what we need
I'm not saying I'm done
But what I'm saying is....leaving right now that choice isn't the only one

I know how you feel....trust me I do
All these days I could have ran away with you..

But....

Right now I can't support us financialy for the distance we want to go
So all I'm asking is to work with me baby don't leave me alone
Don't make me walk in the darkness with no light that glows
I just want to make sure you know

We have each other to the end
We have each other in the palm of our hands
We have each other no matter how much we cry and bend
Time heals all wounds no matter when they begin

I love you so much....we're getting chewed up but it's us that needs fight through and figure it out for us... Give me a few months and I'll have a place promise that I'm saving everything for us and I don't want you to think that I don't care..... right now you're right it's not fair but I have to wait for you....
Jaimien Tolbert Oct 2018
Life its something that is a symphony of
Majestic and demonic sounds that express the experience of the experimentation in time

Time has driven us to pursue either the instant acceleration or the tentative halting of a day, a week, a month , or a year
And the reason why is because life continuously conjours different events that can alter ones perception on how life can be and will be for them
Depending on the constructive or non-constructive critical decisions made

Time is something that undoubtedly can not be changed or stopped for any reason
But what we consiously do with our time depicts how our entire lifes are seamlessly mapped out on a canvas for everyone to analyze and critique

When time is not a pronounce thought in the mind we find a way to lose track of it and it tends to fly by in a blink of an eye and you start to ponder on whether your time spent today was worth losing

You see we all are on a distinct timer for life and what you establish for habits and traits as an individual can determine whether your time in this life is siphened or savoured to the very last second

Time is something that isn't on our side but if we cooperate with it maybe it will drastically commit a change that we hopefully like
but only time in life will determine greatness or misery for us

I hope my time in life has mapped out a legacy for me to have and share with others especially the ones that I care about more than me

PS if If your reading this

your one of those people
Jaimien Tolbert Apr 2019
Before it was you and me..
Against the world
No worries
Riding the waves

Now I'm lost...
I can't see
The only light..
Is you

We wanna shine together
But we're in the dark
And getting farther away
But I still feel us

The connection so true...
The feelings so pure
The way your eyes
Shimmer when you looked at me..

But now it's stress...
It makes me sick
To know that I want you
And I don't know If you want me

Where do I stand...
I felt like a king
And now I'm just a pawn
Waiting to be taking by the queen

I don't wanna be a pawn

If I move correctly
Take my time
One foot in front of the other

I'll become a king again
Hopefully your still my queen

Where do I stand...
I don't know
I just wonder and cry
Just please tell me
I want to know
If you still care for me
Even through the ice and snow

— The End —