I am the smog that suffocates you.
The weight around your neck that pulls you down.  
I am the words to humiliate you.
To push your face and soul into the ground.

I know that I will always love you,
Even as the knife comes down.
Never meant to put my needs above you.
The spear I ****** in won’t come out.

Please forgive me.
Please forgive me.
Please forgive me now.

I am the tool that tortures you.
That finds your soft spots and makes them bruise.
I am the score that marks against you.
That takes you down, that makes you lose.

Please forgive me.
Please forgive me
Please forgive me now.

How can it be that a single caress
Is enough to flood my banks?
Before your glorious being
I get down on my knees,
Open wide,
And offer thanks.

And when you become
Overwhelmed by my gratitude,
And when a thirst begins to bother.
I’ll lead you to where
You might find a drink,
And nourish you on my water.

And from your warmth and suckle
A burning, squeezing hunger
Between my thighs.
I grip your hair,
And try to hold your stare,
And I beg for your flesh inside.

I exhale as though air
Were ripped from my lungs.
I inhale in much the same way.
I feed on your strength,
I breathe in your love.
I can face another day.

I feel your moaning purr,
And your lapping tongue,
And the way you **** and caress.
I beg again for what
I know I must have,

For what mercy I know will come next…

I am weak, petty, small.
I am the torturer of all.
My tendrils close around your neck.
I kick your feet out,
And you fall.

I strike you through as you descend.
I twist your mind.
Your spirit bends.
Actions inflict pain.
Words lack respect.
I pull back to strike you through again.

I exhaust your mind, tear your soul, leaving not a nerve to rend.
Absently abusive, and stretched.
Twisted in violence, bent.

I create pain implicitly, just as I expect.
And I inflict the torture that I never, ever meant.

Let Me inflict the torture that I never, ever meant.

Take out everything.
Tear it all out of me.
Take out everything.
Rip it all out of me.

Take what you need.
Tear it all out of me.
Take what you need.
Rip it all out of me.

But you only feel it on the outside.
You wanna leave it where it stands.
You feel the squish and kick it aside.
And hope that no one understands.

You hear the yell.
You ring the bell.
You fight the battle.
But no one knows just what you want.

You scream the scream.
You rip seam.
You grip the paddle.
And no one knows what house you haunt.

But you only feel it on the outside.
It never gets under your skin.
You take your hate and put it in your pride,
‘Cause that’s the only way you’ll win.

Let out an impotent scream,
When nothing’s quite what it seemed.
You cry out, “victim of circumstance”.

You’re caught up on your hate.
Ignore mistakes that you’ve made.
All your misfortunes were merely chance.

But you only feel it on the outside.
You turn your head. You look away.
You favour peace for only one side.
I guess there’s nothing more to say…

I discover myself, tiny, bean-shaped on the tiled floor.
Raised to my knees the edge of the counter feels deadly.

Thank the gods, not this.

The mirror stares back at my shame with only wet redness.

I look at the offending object.
Well, that could have been worse.

I look to the ground.
Well, that could have been worse.

The effort required to hold back against the floor worries me.

I kept it cool. There is no mark.

I discover all of us.

We are as leaves floating in a puddle.
We rot.
We may become adhered to a shoe,
Or squished into the ground,
But we know we are rotting.