See this box and tube mate?
Proper bit of kit ;
The customers all love the way
It gives a pop and spit.
You wanna see their faces man,
The horror in their look,
As I let fly and freely fry
with tricity that *****.
Some of them howl like diabolical owls
"Hoo hoo hooooHooooo" they lament
"WTH is this?" they squeal and hiss
"Especially with what I've spent."
I'm a self made man with an awesome plan
To win over the pro ghost lobby.
But I've got stuff to do
Had a thought,
Something new.
In time travel. My other hobby.

Don't delete this email,
It's a poem, it's quite sweet,
It's got some rhymes and metaphors,
So please don't hit delete.
Don't delete this email,
A poem is here you see,
I've spilled the beans on my hopes and dreams,
Wiv posh vocablurree.
Don't delete this email,
The content it might grab 'ya,
But while you're here.....come closer dear....
I've got some cheap ******.

I have never been mad before
And I must say I'm finding it swell.
I've got a room with a lockable door
And the windows have bars on as well.
I have never been mad before,
And I must say I'm having a riot.
The voice in my head keeps me company
I was never a fan of the quiet.
I have never been mad before,
And I must say it's awfully nice,
I have a fabulous jacket with buckles
That wraps round my chest snug and twice.
I have never been mad before
Go on! Give it a go!
Living your life sane with a functioning brain,
Is awfully boring you know.

Next door closed the curtains
And put out the cat.
Number three I couldn't see
4 shook out the mat.
17 (who are rather mean)
Turned the tree lights off,
The bloke who lives next door to them
Rattled off a chesty cough.
Porches dimmed and bedroom lights
flickered off along the street,
Couples gave a goodnight kiss
Dogs a pat and treat.

But how much else and how much more
if they'd known it was the night before?

I thought poetry was for poor people too,
No fee for the thoughts in my head,
But I really loved your last poem
So go stand in the sunshine instead.

It has always been a noted thing
That poets are quite mad
And often wildly happy
And often bleakly sad.
They feel things more than most you see
Starving hunger and parched thirst,
Tormented by their worm filled minds
Giddy bests and plunging worsts.
It helps me with my job I guess,
I find it natural not hard,
Oh happy birthday Auntie.
This is weird in a card.

White light.
Beams blazing like lazers as the blind slightly shifts and back
Back to darkness.
Again. White light. Black. White light. Black.
Blindness and blindness and light and black.
Back and forth.
Tap. Tap. Tap.

The End.

When I was a little girl I often went walking with my dad.
He was going to the shop to buy his beer
that was sold in a can with a picture of a ******* clad lady on the front.
We walked down a long, dark hill to get there that was punctuated with street lights.
Dad had to choose between
Diana,
Monica,
Megan,
Candy,
Margaret or
Rosie.
All had bikinis stretched tight over absurd curves and shook their perms like manes.
On the way home I stopped under every light
because his grip on my hand didn't feel quite so tight.

Sometimes you can have lots of friends.
A supportive family.
A great career.
Holidays, cars, televisions, games consoles, designer clothes and and and.
Someone you have never met before catches your eye, smiles and says something kind
And in that moment of utter despair and totally unknown to them
saves your life.