I said I can't live without you.
You say I can.
I think your wrong.
You believe your right.
We fight on our last night.
Hours of silence. Tuned into
the T.V  
Anxious for the time to pass, so you can leave,
Just like that, no hug ,no kiss
only a hand wave all because your ****** .And that was our last time together.
6 months later I get a call from his mother . I fall to the floor and the first thought  was our last night together.
I told you I can't live without you....BANG.......  SIRENS.....SILENCE.......

Parks. I have seen many through the years. To walk through one is something rare.
      Yet today I walk through this park and I sit on a bench. Which I never done before.
But here I am on a bench feeling sad and blue. No one else around me except for a pigeon or two. I reach into my bag and I tossed them out some food.Who would of thought I would ever say I found a friend in a pigeon today,while sitting in the park on a bench.
       My heart has been broken and Im feeling quite lonely. For time has not yet healed my wound.
So I come here to sit, in the park on this bench with my head down and  I dwell.
Not long ago I would have never thought a bench would comfort me so well. Its always here and  always has room for me as well.
Now every time I'm feeling sad, the park is where I go Just me ,the bench and the pigeons, which are now my new  found friends.

There is no future, nor a present.
There's only a past,which we, relive again and again

She's isn't strong until she needs to be.
She isn't tired until everyone else has gone to sleep.
      She's up first and the last one to sleep. Sometimes she doesn't even get to eat....
      She's the nurse the doctor the cook,and the house cleaner . Shes the chauffer and a referee too. She's the messenger,  a teacher, and at times a personal seamstress.In case you didn't know. She's the friend ,and the displinarian,  She does it all . She's the one we call when, we're  stranded at the mall, she's  the one we confide in when he didn't call. She's there when your girlfriend dumps you for your best friend. Shes there through thick and thin. Shes always there to lend her hand.. She worries , and she panics ,and  she can get really ******* to,,but she hides it very well, because she's also a sophisticated lady the whole way through. Did I mention she's also a magician! She's the only one who can heal an ouie with a simple and gentle kiss . She's the one and only person in this world ,to whom every calls their MOM....

It's  a big world, yet a small one to.
So many dfferent Counties , states,
and cities, your just one life of many.
Look at the many places, faces and all the races, do you think your town is the only one with hatred?
       The homeless, the hungry, the junkies and thieves, your  not the only one who worries .Your one life of many.
So many unemployed people Divorces ,and Unhappy Families.    Your not alone when It comes to finances.
It's  a big world ,and your just one life of many.

My skin is poked by 10,000 needles
I feel like im burning and getting
electrical shocks,all over my body...
I'm dry my moisture is no longer
every day that passes I feel my skin getting dryer.
My eyes see blur my ears cant hear...My bones  & Muscles feel stiff and tight im cracking bones to
Lift some pain my fingers are tingling
And my ankles are acheing ...
My nails wont grow my feet hurt
and sting as my stregnth weakens Im dieing lets face it....

Anger ,fury and,rage, boiling blood and pumped up veins, all in a hurricanic stage.
    With every heart beat, my mind is ticking as the seconds count away .With my eyes as the locator, and a blink is my denator , I'm  ready to blow things away.
    Don't  fuel my fire ,by getting in my way.  
But by chance if  you do!! You'll  probally be blown away. I won't lessen my **** ,for a kid or even a girl . So please stay out my way.
I'm a walking time bomb.I can explode anytime or any day  .

Come walk with me not in the shadows of the dark
       come walk with me not in the light of the day
     come walk with me in the shoes of the Many so you can then see that evil isn't always in the poor ,
greed isn't always in the wealthy .
And selfishness isn't always in the rich.
      come walk with me and lets experience this journey together,
so you can also see that there's good, and bad, in every race ,color ,and Creed.
come walk with me .

Don't  judge me ,you're  not perfect.
Don't  mock me you're  not a parrot.
Don't tease me ,your not funny.
Don't try to change me you're not a magician.
Why can't you love me ? You have a Heart!!!

Whats our purpose here on earth?..
When do we fiqure out where our journey starts .?
Why arn't we born  knowing?
And when do we find out where our  voyage takes us.l .
Will it be the end for us all in this place we call life.......When we do find out?

To look at him u can be fooled .
Charm charisma, a smile so sweet, and all the inbetweens.
    A well dressed tall young  man  .
Well mannered was all part of his plan. I must admit he was my friend.
      He lived the life of a gangster Never shy on claiming his hood. For sure
And his hood is where he stood. And on the corner is where he was shot .1 shot 2 shot 3 shots he's dead . But not before he released one to his enemies head
He lived by the gun and he died by the gun only 27 so so young ....

My choices would have taken me to a differnt place.
   Therefore my decision led me to where I am today.
   My struggles battled my strength.
And my fears controlled where I went.
  But now I have cleansed my soul. And my conscience has  been freed from the carry of  dead weight. 
   I can now smile as well as keeping my faith.
   I am so thankful
for all that I have today...,
  And with that I can truely say ,I am happy to be alive...As the tear fall  from my eye...
  And did I mention ,that
  GOD is a great guy...
THANKFUL.....

If I ....had the means I would clean these city streets.

If I ..... Could find the right words I would speak to our young teens.

If I ..... could paint a picture I'd paint it
on a wall .
A picture with you ,him and me.
Laughing ,hugging and living carefree.

All the colors, all the faces ,all the different type of races.... Lets unite and
grow strong, so we can take all these wrongs and make things right.

Because no matter what at the end of the day , its all about us..... The Human Race........

Do you remeber as a kid outside at play.
All summer long you with other kids having fun all day long.
Everyone were friends.

Remember the last days of school the days were  hot, but you were still cool.

High school weekends, dance clubs and drinking.
Everyone were friends.

Boyfriends ,Girlfriends, movie theaters and house parties. Shopping malls and beach fires.
Everyone were friends.

Do you ever wonder what became of them.

We all have a past,
    Not all will have a future.
The now is whats important
  Dont take it for granted.
Because tomorow is not guaranteed
  Today is given as a gift from god
That's why its called the present.

His smile was infectious,his dimples imprinted in my mind.
I emulated his smile like it was mine all mine.

I knew him when love was foriegn,and a touch meant nothing ,and nothing became something and something meant everything.
      We knew love had no space
trying to force it in a tight place .
Hating but knowing we should give it a break.
      Anticipation ,there was no other intoxication for me ,when your hands hugged my hips ,when you kissed my lips
Lost in your eyes ,our hearts found its way back, as  if love was on reserve for a moment .
So we could find who we are .And you are me and I am you when we're together.

So many miles between us.
Only if I could have one wish.
    
I would wish to fly.
I'd fly over high mountains, and across valley greens.
I'd fly over blue oceans and every river and stream.

I would fly in the dark of night without a moons light. I'd fly into the early morning passing the sunrise.
Through the wind, the rain and , into any snow storm.
I would not stop, no matter how cold, no matter how hot.
I would fly and wouldn't stop. Not until I flew, on your front door step.
Because theres so many miles between us.

As a toddler I learned the right from wrong. "But not love".
   As a a child I learned, my abc's." But not love".
In my teens I learned how to lie,drink and steal." But not love."
As an adult I learned responsibility." But not love."
Now that Im much older I learned how to love..
I found god.
And now "I feel loved".....

Sometimes what we think, turns out to be wrong.
   But what we feel is usually right.
The mind can play tricks on you.
      But your Heart ! Will always stay true.

It's the quiet sound like a cat's walk it's the soft bounce like a bubble pops.
It's the smooth flow ,Like the wind blows
It's the bright night from the moonlight
Such a beautiful life
      Like the sound of a birds tweet and the warmth of the sun's Heat  Like the kiss from your loved one. Like the hug from your from your oldest son .
     What a beautiful life ,
it's a beautiful life

Someone  once said the only stupid questions are the ones not asked.....
      On that being said may I ask WHY?

     Why are there  so many killings...
      Why are children raised without discipline?
      Why are woman *****?
       Why is there so much hate?
      Why is racism still abate...
      Why do we have to struggle to eat...
      Why are so many people living in poverty.....
       But most of all WHY Can't we live with LOVE, PEACE and HARMONY
WHY! WHY! WHY!

I'm wanna quit.!
    I'm going to quit everything that's bad for me.

I'm want to stop.
    I'm going to stop hurting.me

I'm about to let go.
    Let go of all those negative thoughts I put on myself

And someday Im gonna say good bye ,
Say goodbye to all my lies , I  tell to myself

And the day I no longer carry stress,and the burdens are of my chest

Is the day I become a better me.
I will have finally set myself free.

What is ir all about. What is life suppose to be.
Am I worthy?  Am I living the way Im made to live?
Do I make a difference  in all I do.?
     These are questions I have to answers for.
 Do I take up space.?
Where's my place!
     Shall I remain idle?
Will I  know when the day comes?
     When I fulfil my born duties  
And After I learn of my duties on earth.
When I accomplish them,  will I leave this earth shortly after.
   That's what I'm afraid of when our service is done,....will we become useless,          Therefore our presence is no longer needed.

As we lay
    Im  Feeling your chest pressed againts my spine,
making me quiver uncontrolablly.
      And with your arms wrapped around me so tight ,yet so tenderly right putting a smile on my face that would probally last all night.
As I felt the softness of your lips, kissing my neck in all the right places ,with out a doubt Im feeling good.
And just as I started to drift away into a slumber sleep . I softly hear these words. I LOVE YOU  . The words  became imprinted into my ear ...and even after all these years.. I can still hear those words you whispered to me ..I LOVE YOU still so very clear.
     You my love gave me a memory. Something I'll never forget...  You gave me ......A Beautiful Night.

When I close my eyes
I'm someone else.
As I fall into a slumber sleep
I'm someone else ,someone
whose happy.
When I close my eyes.

I've traveled the deserts ,the valleys, Interstates and  highways, too.. Its's nowhere to be found. It probally doesn't exist.
I searched  over mountain tops down rivers and streams ,I walked on thin ice and soared Atlantic and the Pacific oceans all night,yet still I haven't found it ..
Where is it, where could it be ?
Where is the love that's made just for me.

At times when I come home from work .
I sit alone ,I don't even turn on the T.V .
      I just sit and reminence on the day and other things to.
The quietness seems so serene.
Not a sound around me ,only the drip from the faucet sink. I enjoy the peace. It feels good to me

If your walking down the street ,and some stranger ask for some change,dig in your pocket or purse.
      Someone in your crowd mentions they're hungry but doesn't have any money ,don't wait to hear it twice. Be nice get a bite.
        It's a very hot day . The mail carrier is putting mail in your box think fast and offer him a cold glass of H2O.  
       Each day you do a good deed.  it can lead to wonderful things for you.

when I was younger I thought fairytales were real.
As I grew older I thought dreams would never come true.
Now that  I'm a mother and much wiser, I wish for myself and deserving others that all of us can live safe and healthy  and live not in poverty, and most of all ,live in this world happily ever after.

I traveled many places ,
I seen many faces.
But none of them knew my name.
I came home to familar faces.
They asked me about all the different places I been.
But none of them remembered
my name.

I would like to see
     A sky full of stars...
I would like to see..
    A  Aqua blue ocean and white sand beach...
     And a pasture of green meadows with soft grass beneath my feet...
    But  what I would really want more than that mentioned above ,is probbally wishful thinking ..
I would LOVE to see all the RACES  live in peace and harmony.....

No more  ******* this is my right .
 Freedom of speech.
This is my write...
    
Our government is the countries biggest hypocrite.
Our government is our countries most dangerous criminal. They're not even trying to hide.  I believe OUR Government is our own worst enemy. This is my right , and this is my write        
      Our U.S Government
is our nations biggest of thieves..
We put them there , and now its time for them to leave....
People hear me please..                      
     They're the reason for all the killings.
The poverty, the sick , and the homelessness and
its only going to get worse with each passing day.
All they want is money...
Human life to them , is worth less , than our
U.S penny."
       If we don't wake up , if we don't speak up,              
if we don't stand up for whats right.
       They will soon silence us forever....
This is my right....To Write......

Written Destruction ,you know who you are.
      I know first hand you are scarred....
      Somewhere along the the way, you began writing   your days. With thoughts that consumed you, and built conflict within you.
  A love that was decieved by your very own beast.
And a soul intwined with evil. You wrote your first chapter, your journey has now begun. Savoring the memories with all the good times is probally why you keep hanging on. You my friend are dancing with the devil.  In your own words ,you said your a subject matter ,always gangster. Chapter 2 is through.
    You say the world dissapoints you. And may I ask why?
Is this the cause of a smart guy who wants to cry? In the dark of his own life .The vocabulary,  and your critical thinking is fading away everyday.
End of Chapter 3
    WRITTEN DESTRUCTION
Look and recognize,these are segments of your own life. You wrote your story, making your personal creation, and now you live in your own demise. You are ,your worst enemy. Your book is done. The x-men ,here they come....

Last night I was counting the stars, I think I counted a hundred and four.
Thats when you creeped into my
thoughts and I became lost.
Lost to thoughts of you.

As I think back into my past and remember what  I left behind.
It's you  I always seem to find.
Buried memories followed by a passioned heart that now I come to realize my heart was very blind.
And with all the time that past .
Could not erase the love that stirs my heart so deep and fills me through and  through It's  the love you stole from me twenty years ago.

I love ,You play
     I'm serious, You play
I work ,You play .
     You walk me home
We get robbed .....
"    We  just got robbed"
.

Only  a stranger with time.
A friend in memory,and a lover in life.
His soul engraved in my heart, his spirit blankets me in the dark.
      As a cool breeze passes by me ,thats when I feel his feather touch ,which gives me chills so briefly.
When I look sharp and afar is when I see his sillouette walking slowly then disapearing into the dark

For a short time you were mine.
  The exsperience was ,
GREAT LOVE.
For that short time ,
when you were mine.

Woke up ,my heart beats rapidily .
My eyes casing my surroundings.
     Unsure of my location I sit in a state of  disalusion ,but just for a brief moment or two ,then I come to, to reality And now Im aware of me just awaken from having a nightmare. Now hesitatent of going back to sleep so I lay awake . And in the morning when I rise the memory of what I dreamnt last night is vague and dense but the feeling  remains strong. Nightmares real enough to scare the hell out of you.

What do I say to a person I haven't spoke to in years. Strangers are we. How would it be?  not like it used to be.
      
Out of the blue a note from you , which you left on my front door. What words would I say, if I spoke to you today,If I were to call you on the phone. ,The Conversation, will we have a good one, or will we stay silent on both ends.
How would it be . We're like strangers now. I'm a little scared to find out.  
How would it be.

I fell in love the first time I saw you.
And you smiled because you knew.....
      LOVE SAW IT......

you are not better than anyone else nor is anyone better than you.
We are all created equal  with importance.
We are just divided when it comes to acceptance and ignorance....

Have you ever  known a person who is stronger than steele.
Whose devotion is way beyond any valley known to man .
A person who has compassion ,and carries no resentment towards any human being.
       Can you name a person whom has a heart bigger than any ocean and a kindness that spreads further than an eye can see . Do you know a person who loves unselfishly. A person with loaylty,generosity, honesty and is so beautifully 100% real lady.
Do you know of such a person ?
I do !  Im sure you know of one to. She's MY MOTHER.. .And I love you more than words can say....
And I thank you, For just being you.

A rose grew from a crack in the ground.
Do you know how difficult that can be.?
    There was no other flower , no dirt ,nor any grass only cold concrete all around.
   A rose came up from the ground ,not watered or cared for at all .
    For a rose to grow heAlthy
and tall ,out from a crack in the ground, and not  have been stepped on!! Has to be a very speacial one !!!!
     For a rose to grow from a crack in the gound......

When you walked into that cafe.
I stared. I stared at you as if you were brand new.
   When your eyes looked to me ,that look pierced my soul.
      I never saw a look like that before.
   When your lips moved, words were spoken.
I never heard words spoke like that before.
    When your hand reached for mine. I became startled, as if I was never touched before.
    What is this feeling that has come over me.
I never felt like this before.
YOU MAKE EVERYTHING FEEL BRAND NEW.......

Ohhhh Loving you came easy.
I shown you that a million times.
But the first time I say NO.
You act like I never said YES.

A loner and a person who dreams.

Dreams of far away places  and it's beauty in her mind.

And the dreams become visual when she closes her eyes.

Places that are so beautiful, one can only imagine of such a place.

For many; places so exstradenary  actually do exists.
For me ? They only exists in my dreams.

A day spent together and it ,didn't matter where we went.
It didn't matter if we were cold.
It didn't matter that we spent all our money
You and I were happy in each others company,and although it may sound kind of weird , but it's the first time in years their was  no fussing no fighting. We even had polite conversation.
What matters to you, doesn't matter to me . Especially when you say it's to good to be true. And now the day has come to its end ,  for you and I .
Please don't let Goodnight be Goodbye....

A million times you held my hand.
    You kissed me a thousand times.
    And We had *** at least a hundred  times.....
But not ONCE have you told me you LOVE me....

What  I had , I gave
What I spent , I had
What I kept, I lost

What you do for yourself, you take
with you when you die.
What you do for others is timeless.