"Little do you know
How im breaking
While you fall asleep"
never were words so true
i should be asleep
but all i can do is think of
you

Her parents thought she was a failure. Her classmates thought she was a freak. Society thought she was ****** up. Her best friend thought she was amazing, and beautiful. Everything her best friend said to build her up was destroyed a million times over. For every 'beautiful' she got 10x more 'uglies'. For every 'wonderful' 20x more 'failures'. Her best friend could never keep her up for long. So he girl fell. Down, down, down. Into a pit of darkness. She couldn't get out of it, so she ended it. The pain, the sadness, the darkness. Now she's floating on clouds, looking down at the friend she left behind. Watching her break, crash, and be consumed in despair. She weeps, knowing she should be down there helping her. But she can't. All she can do is watch as her friend prepares the chair, and hangs he rope. Watch as her body swings, and her soul flies up to join hers. Two girls-broken beyond belief. Forgotten and abandoned by the world. Truly tragic.

If my bands knew me they would be so disappointed, because they always tell me to stay strong, yet I am so weak...

Me without my bands is like...
a book without pages
a heart without a beat
a zoo without cages
a soul incomplete
peanut butter without jelly
a shoe with no sock
a stomach ache with no belly
and a writer with writers block

Burning wrist
Burning thighs
Burning eyes
Burning soul
I am on fire...

you think you know me so well
that's how you know i'm a failure
oh yes because you know
what i'm feeling
and what i'm thinking
and why i do what i do
don't you?
NO you don't
you don't know how much i'm hurting
how often i cry myself to sleep
how numb i always feel
how i can't get rid of my sadness
how angry i am all the time
how much i hurt myself
how often i want to die
so you know what?
maybe i am a failure
but only i would know that
because you don't know me
and you never will
so how about
you get the **** out of my face

dont say you care
then turn around and walk away
dont ask if im alright
then not listen to the answer
dont offer to hang out
then text other girls the whole time
dont mess with my emotions
and act like you dont know what youre doing
dont lead me on
then wonder why i cant get over you
dont do this to me again
because you already broke me once

Slit your wrist, clench your fist
cut your thighs, dry your eyes
have a smoke, try not to choke
don't let them know you died, until you commit suicide

I'm drowning
In everything
School
Friends
Family
Life
It's like everything's trying to suffocate me
Cut off my air
Until i sink
So far down
That I can't be saved
Even if someone bothered trying
Which they don't
My vision clouds over
My head pounds
I try to breathe
Inhaling water repeatedly
Until I stop struggling
And just let myself go
Let myself sink beneath the waves
Never to return to the surface

I think one of the hardest things in the world
is when you take a look around
and realize that all your so called friends
don't actually give two ***** about you.
That's the moment you realize,
we live in a world where fake is normal
and real people are a miracle

face of an angel
personality of the devil
how could it be so?
sky blue eyes
perfectly pale skin
freckles placed just so
perfectly curled blonde hair
skater boy
i fell for you
before you even opened your mouth
but when you did
i got back up
because unfortunately
my fallen angel
is an *******

That feeling, when you know you failed.

At helping your best friend, or passing a class, being there for someone you care about, or making the right decision.

It's a feeling that beats you from the inside out, leaving you weak and breathless.

It makes you feel like you're a *******, good for nothing.

It makes you question why someone as ****** up as you is even allowed to walk on this earth.

It's he worst feeling in the world, and the worst part is

It
Never
Goes
Away

Go ahead.
Rip my heart out. Break it into a million pieces. Throw it on the ground and stomp on it in front of me.
You already did when you said good-bye. and since you seemed to enjoy it so much, have fun doing it again.
I dont care anymore

the ones who think they'll never find true love
the ones who believe they're not worth it
the ones who see themselves in a warped or twisted way
the ones who can't see any light in their life
the ones who want to end it all
the ones who don't think they can make it through
the ones who should be told they are beautiful, amazing, and worth it. because  you are. I promise you are.

One day, I hope it gets better
For you, not me
I'd rather have you happy and me be miserable
Than vice versa
Which I know you don't deserve
Because you kicked me to the dirt
And left me for dead
But I hope for you anyway
Because despite all that
I still love you
And always will

It was us against the world
Now and for forever
You had my back
And I had yours
How could you just throw it away
Like you didn't even care
I thought we had something
I guess I was wrong
You broke me
Then left me to pick up the pieces

So much hurt, building up like a volcano
Burning me, killing me inside
To the point where I can't move
I'm immobilized
Every word you say is a bullet
Going through me,
Destroying everything in it's path
Destroying me
Im defenseless against it
Against you
And you know it to
Smiling as you see what you inflict on me
Laughing as I bleed
Proud of what you've done to me

If my heartbeat were to just stop for a bit
Would you even care?
Would you try to help me restart it
Or would you just sit there and stare?
Like im some kind of freak show
A human gone wrong
Well i think you should know
Im already gone

If I could find a way
To ease your worries
I would take the burden from your back
Take the tears from your eyes
Wipe the sweat from your brow
Heal your wounds
Clean up your blood
I would replace your hurt with love
If give you the stars if I could
The moon and the sun too
I would shower you in love
Until you couldn't remember what hurt was
I would hold the weight of he world for you
If only I could

if i could relive one moment, i would relive our last kiss.
but this time, i would hold you tighter
i would run my hands through your hair
and bite your lip
i would kiss you longer
with more passion
i would make it worthwhile
i would make sure you never forget it
and maybe this time
i would be able to make you stay

Is she prettier?
Smarter?
Funnier?
Nicer?
Less ****** up inside?
Is that why you chose her?
Because she can give you what I couldnt?
If so,
I hope you're happy.
Too bad it took me being miserable for you to be happy.

You say that you're worried
That's why you told them
That it would help
Just talk to them
Well guess what?
It didn't
Being forced under a microscope
Poked and prodded
Treated like a kid who lost her mind
Who went wrong and is ******* up her life
You think that helps?
I'd rather find comfort in myself
Then be subjected to that again
So please from the bottom of my heart
Stop trying to help me

Sitting here wondering
where'd i go wrong?
Sitting here thinking
how i've been in pain so long
look back to when i was a kid
before i went down this horrible road
before i knew what pain did
before the seeds of anger were sewed
stuck doing things i never thought i would
like rebelling and self-harm
hurting myself more than i thought i could
just look at the proof on my arm
i want to just curl up in a ball and die
i say i would never take my life, but we know that's a lie

When I look into your eyes
Is it love?
When you pull me into your arms
Is it love?
When you laugh along with me
Is it love?
When you hold me as I breakdown
Is it love?
When you smile at me the way you do
Is it love?
I used to think it was...
But then I remembered....
You look into her eyes
You pull her into your arms
You laugh with her
You hold her as she breakdowns
You smile at her the way you do
I'm no one special
Just another girl you make feel that way
When it isn't real
No
It isn't love

"I'm happy"                                 you're miserable                                                  
"I have friends"                           who stab you in the back
"I'm a good person"                   who can't even help her best friend?
"I deserve to live"                       then why do you want to die?


My mind always wins...

Miscommunications will be my downfall
I say something
You misunderstand
Or vice versa
We both end up mad
For absolutely no reason
Bad goes to worse
And we end up here
Miles away
While feet apart
And nothing can mend
Our broken hearts

once upon a time there was a couple
this couple seemed incredibly happy
everyone thought that they were in love
and that they might just make it
and they thought so too
they promised each other forever
he thought she meant it
she thought he meant it
then life intervened
he changed
like he said he wouldn't
she stayed the same
like she said she would
it wasn't the same
he wanted better
prettier
happier
nicer
BETTER
she wanted HIM
and to be loved
and cared for
they were both disappointed...
now a year has gone by
and they're best friends
she seems fine
he seems fine
they both seem fine
but if you look closely
close enough to see the cracks
you'll be able to see
the falter in her smile
the tremble in her laugh
and the sadness in her eyes
you'll see she's not satisfied
you'll see the love still there
hidden under the friendship
you'll see she wants
to redo the past
change something
anything
to make him stay this time
but she smiles
and acts like its alright
and she loves being
just friends
because her love
was so strong
and so true
that when she said forever
she meant it with all her heart
even if forever
was only to be fulfilled
by being just friends

We live in a world where girls get lectured on what to wear, but boys don't get lectured not to stare.
A world where we preach individuality and expressing yourself, but if you don't fit into a certain standard society shuns you.
A world where we're expected to be mature and act like adults, but are treated like kids who can't think for themselves.
We live in a world where people are bullied, pushed to suicide, shunned, mistreated, abused, and beaten down to the point of breaking.
But let me correct myself: we don't live in this world, we survive in it.
It can't be called living if we're dead inside.

You say jump
I say how high
You say laugh
I say how loud
You say bleed
I say how much
You say cry
I say how long
You say die
I say how many times

You've got my heart in a viselike grip, and I can't escape.
Worst of all, I don't want to. I should, but I'm hopelessly lost in your eyes. I can't escape.

Listen, just once
Shut your mouth and open your eyes
See how I see, feel how I feel
Maybe then you'll understand
How hurt I am, how lost
How I'm flailing in the darkness
But you don't
You shush me, amd keep on blabbing
Not realizing you're silencing me to the core
Listen, just once
You might be surprised what you hear

Welcome to our society
We accept and love everyone
Come as you are!
Just make sure you dress the way we want you to
And listen to the music we want you to
And act the way we want you to
And think the things we want you to
And live the life we say...
Also, we're going to shove you into a hellhole known as school where we force you to learn things like trigonometry and why Mongols stole people's lands but not things like:
How to pay taxes
Or support your family
Keep from being taken advantage of
Or how to be accepted in a society that only wants a twisted idea of perfection.
And while forcing you to conform to the same thing as everyone else, they will "encourage" individuality.

But like we said, be yourself! We accept all!

You said you gave me the stars
I would have preferred your heart

Lost and thrown away
you know were better were better than that
Cause we are.....the strays

I hate the fact that I'm a sucker for you
I know you're telling me lies,
Yet your lips look so good telling them
I know you don't care about me,
Yet when you take me into your arms it feels like you do
I know you care more for her than me,
Yet when you look at me I forget that
I know you dont love me,
Yet when I look into your eyes it seems you do
Yeah, I'm just a sucker for you

Sue's mean.
When I'm taking two pills to stop a headache, she nags me to take the whole bottle.
When I cut to relieve the pain, she whispers to cut a little deeper.
When I'm walking on the sidewalk, she tries to push me into oncoming traffic.
When I see a chair, she tells me to go get the rope.
Sue's horrible. She's taking over my life. She won't leave me alone!

I love the way you lie
I love the way you play me
I love the way you make me cry
I love the way you walk away
I love the way you stab me in the back
I love the way you laugh as I bleed
I love the way you smile while betraying me

Actually.......no.
You're a heartless ******* and I hate you and everything you do.

I breathe you in
Even as you fill my lungs with poison
I hold onto you tightly
Even as you burn me
I love you with everything I am
Even as you tear me down
I give you my heart
Even as you stomp it into the ground
I'm not too blind to see that you're toxic to me
But I am stupid enough to hope you'll change

I looked in the mirror and trembled at what I saw. The blood running down my wrists and thighs. I look pale and sickly, with bags under my eyes. And my eyes, oh my eyes. The white is turning black, as well as the color. It's either my soul disappearing, or my inner demons taking over. I drop to my knees, black creeping in the edges. I fall to my sides, the ground slick with my blood. I drift into the darkness, ashamed of what I've become. I'm ready to say good-bye.

"Stop hurting me"        I plead
"Leave me alone".        I demand
"Please"                         I cry
"Stop it"                        I scream
"I'm already broken"   I yell
"I know"                        He smirks

I wish i could erase all my memories of you
wipe my slate clean
because if i couldnt remember you
id be able to sleep again

If you were to light me on fire, I would smile through the flames.
If you were to break all my bones, I would laugh through the pain.
If you were to slit my wrists, and ask me why I didn't cry out,
I'd say 'because it's not something I haven't done to myself'
If you were to hold a gun to my head, I'd pull the trigger for you.
Don't bother trying to hurt me.
I'm already dead inside.

I cant wait to meet the person who looks at me and thinks, 'wow, im so lucky to have her.'

shunned by many, accepted by few, disliked by most, what's a girl to do?

Once upon a time
you were my prince
you swept me off my feet
and we rode off into the sunset
then, reality came crashing down
you dropped me on my ***
straight into the dirt
grabbed HER
the better one, the prettier one
and walked away
hand in hand
i stood up and brushed the mud off
acting like it didn't hurt
when in truth
my fairytale had abruptly came to a stop
and my prince had become a villain

you are the sunlight in my life
shining through the darkest nights
you are the smile on my face
the one that i hope will never fade
you are my unbridled laughter
slipping uncontrollably from me
you are the reason i am able to face every day
because i know youre right by my side
you are everything ive ever hoped for
and then some
in short, you are the love of my life
and im so glad you found me
and accepted me and chose to love me back