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now that you're dead (near)
i sometimes look you up on the interweb
it's a ***** little pleasure
i feel like I'm willfully hurting something
my own masochistic munchausen
suicide by installment
i may run the bath all night
grimy
getting to know the ghosts of you
wrapped around you like a blanket of ermine
reeling from a beckoning before time began
steam gathers and is swirled away giving shape to the subtle breath
of two lovers
one sleeping
dr. fu man chu arrived in a sinister looking limosine
on a tuesday afternoon
with a scribe and a bodyguard and a wig

he strolled back and forth through the yards
looking about him with no mean fascination
then climbed up the front stoop to the door
to look at the house
of my good neighbor
of some long standing

his jeweled cane he grasped with his right hand
and an alibaster egg he cupped with the only one left
there, with no pomp, and very little bother
the business was,
with some haste concluded; and nothing  more easily dispatched.
yes the purchase was made
with hard cash or by trade
the fiendish dr. seemed finally soothed,
his wry smile a creep's;
no photo, catch, or keep
all of the neighbors from a collective mass move.

dr. fu man chu is now my new neighbor,
and a fine one he turned out at that.
i see him walking about
with his cane and his wig
wearing expressions bespeaking hard labor.
from the yards to the steps to the door to his gig,
and finally into his new flat.
drivel
i bit my lip through to my gums
chewed my cheek ******
and drank myself numb
just trying to soothe
the sting of our guns
and keep myself from reloading

of all of the things that we've both been saying
some of mean intent 
some with no meaning

this:

no navigatable course known yet
no sounding of fathoms below it
if we stay on this sea we will
die

talking out loud in conversation about...
nothing, with no one i can hail though I shout
ghosts of yesterday
and easy shade,
please stay away, please stay
fuel my prayer masquerade
in what must be unfortunately fantastic

you, dragging my love around
until my wheels grind me
to my bones, then further down
a psyhic love amputee
laughing
i favor funny now
when coming down
to it
naturally

I quit
i sicken myself
i smell my flesh rot
it's a symtom of something
that can't be reversed
probably something that i deserve
death by decomposition
i look at the moon
there's smoke in the air
i think of you
looking at it there

i know you do
least said so
said, c'mon moon
moon said no

i want to hear you speak
want you to know i will never forget
but it's way too soon
or too late i guess
for that ****

wax reminiscent if you've the mind
but it's a bitter pill
when it's medicine time
tastes of gall
like a dry heave
it is empty

the moon is dumb
you're dumb too
"i don't care anymore", is wearing my boots
bloodless now from lack of sleep
listen to my ears ring,
my heart beat.

count them again
against the clock
54 per minute span
solid now but soon
she'll stop

on stopping day I'll be laid down
there'll be no measure
of compromise
empty throne and
hollow crown
hollow headed
sacrifice

hollow is an empty
place
full of hope
for hoping's sake
forsake what's real
for a better take
better take you on home
better
if I stayed gone
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