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blowby smells
like gasoline slowly burning
that rarely happens

i once put a small flame
out with gasoline
when i tried to repeat
this magic
for a friend
i nearly burnt down
the entire back yard

it felt
like an emergency
'owling winds from HER past
scrape my esteem
from the flesh of my am

with HER truth as a weapon
she rides over me with SHAME
as a war-pony

from the king of nothing
to the fool of fantasy
the card of
my am
not with her

sheer ill intent
damage so deep
to breathe
is a crime
for my am

no safe passage
trickery and slippery
wet moss on the rocks

I'll swing
By the neck of my am
instead
like no ***** did

so childlike
now a man
i hurt my neck
my am

safety is going
be a long
climb out
reach down and find a collar in my hand
pull it up
out of the water

i am
Disastrous
sunlight spills from
her eyes
her words
drip honey
her lips are
fire
i wish she would burn
me down
with all of her kisses
does it even it out?
we'll see.
I'll say a prayer for you
she said.
who still prays?
i do.

where will it end?
right here he said.
she was getting in her car
and said
I'll pray for you

right on time he thought.
chewing her words she bit her lip
then trying not to bite her lip once again, she bit her cheek. still chewing the same, she couldn't stop bothering the hole in her cheek with her tongue.
which she bit soon enough.
what could have been a fine sentence,
one made to make someone feel good,
wound up coming out of that grinder,
covered in spit and blood.
your man
courts you in silence
because his words don't fit in your wallet.

your man
courts you in the future
because his now doesn't strike your now's fancy anvil with it's patina of past

your man
courts you while walking in sin
because to the icy gospel truth: real,
he is a lie

your man
courts you
nevertheless.

your man
courts you because he loves you
not as an object,
but as the subject matter of the story
that has been written in his heart
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