Worthy
And satisfied
Strange and beautiful
This feeling wasn't miniature
I would love to be around your love again
I fancy who you are
Scrambled upon the words
Im orderly
Im temperamental
And i can be frail at times
We are jam baby
We make sweet music together
So i can't sprint these words
I will forever cherish the times we’ve had
I  will never dispute them

Is it too sad to become depressingly hopeless of it all,
At first, I packed my heart up and left, I stayed heartless
Second, I decided to grab my mind and leave again, I was mindless, and heartless
Third, I gave up and grabbed my soul and pushed it away, I became soulless, mindless, and heartless
Fourth, I became alone, I forgot my value, and my worth.
I was soulless, mindless, and heartless
Then you did it,
You believed in me, you showed me the sun, you helped me run without the gun, and it was too much fun.

We search for love, and any time we encounter love we introduce ourselves to such power. Cause at the end of the day its power. Makes you feel some type of way type of power. We either **** for it or strive for it. Encountering love is seen as deadly, your emotions are roller coasting through the maybes, the what ifs, the why not, oh and the who cares. Well you care, if you didn’t care you wouldn’t think about it so analytical. You wouldn’t question every aspect of f love.  It should be simple, many of us tend to fear this word yet progress conflicting its beautiful emotion with chaos. It shouldn’t be chaos, it should be passion, it should be pure, it should start slow, or it should become true. However it happens we search for love.  Women have idealized this theory of men treating women well. But it makes you reflect on, do women treat men well. In this society, that has ruined our hearts and took over our souls. We have idealized the meaning of a relationship, the meaning of two people intrigued by one another’s mind, the meaning of a happiness that occurs in silence. The energy of love being touched by one soul to another by only a curve of a smile, the beauty of a smile. Smiles change someone’s image, being the observant feign, have realized that you can tell when people are faking the smile cause it leads to the vibe. Energy’s feed off each other, the type of energy you give, will eventually become the same you  tend to receive. Becoming off topic is sort of my style, started it out with love thought about smiles. Cause love evaporates a smile, it flirts with your desire, it conflicts with your honor, but it can feed you everything you want to learn about  its power. Love is power, we are all humans, searching for another soul that can touch our hearts and warm up our bones. Someone that can make you feel alive when you’re stuck in that hole. Someone you share your flaws with and still be content that those flaws that excite your beauty, and if you’re imperfections weren’t pure you wouldn’t be worth it. I can be that person, the only problem is, where is my person? where is that one person that makes me cling to my seat with those sweet kisses being spread across my cheek.

Confidence is free
Your ego just wants to compete
Fully loaded, Let me spill
The Faded past and
the hopeful future
tears of joy and laughter
I dream big
Bigger than my heart
But that’s alright
Minds twirling around these melodies
Intertwined by our memories
Aroused by your scent
And seduced by your mind
Always stumbling on my time
Hold my hand
Light the spliff
Inhale
Exhale
I think the vibe is too much
My heart is on fire
You complete me.

1:23 am -this exhale just brought me back to life
The music has influenced my environment
Strangers and lovers and thirsty hearts lingering in my presence
Being pulled by my sides by you and reminded I was beautiful
1:27 am -that moment made me reassure my being
I was loved, I was drunk, I was high, I was in love
And that’s all it took, we danced, we danced, and we danced.
Tongues hungry for each other’s minds
Your knowledge excites me; your heart evaporates in me softly.
Your touch is irresistible, and I’d be a fool if I decided to resist you.
3:00 am- the goodbyes were a mess
Is this forever can we be that again
Can we do that again and again
Come back and love me I want to be around you again.
4:00 am- your knowledge excites me, you’re in my mind, you’re in my tongue, you’re in my breath, you’re in my ear, you’re in my sense, you’re in my head.
Back and forth, it was you, all about you.
5:00 am- intoxicated thoughts.

There is a lot
but there are no options
I have never given up on myself
lovesick
heartless
heartbreak
I've lost my confidence
praying to god to hear me out
faith, conscious, love
all these self help books
are getting repetitive

Something so biased about the way women flock positively together
I haven’t came across noon
But I am hungry and I can never be fooled
Too many reasons
Behind it all
I haven’t gripped it,
I always make it complicated
Yet,
It’s always out of my control
But to each his own
Turbulence is my masterpiece
I’ve been racing myself to the finish line
Overflowing words
Overflowing emotions
I don’t need you on my mind
My head has been too heavy lately
Everything is going to be all right
To tough to ever dismiss this magic

Roll another one
Exhale another one
Bless you
Sigh
Of every type of relief
I wish you nothing
But a speedy recovery
I communicate in third person
People never want to hear your story
A couple of glasses ‘
Every night
Speeding down your heartbreak
Shaking
Cause I can never sit still
My hair is in a bun
But I still look special
Cause the angels
Always shine  down on me

Temporary feelings will remain dead
I am not here to amuse your childish plays
Ive been through so many roller coasters
i can finally say, I've been flying away
when i am writing
my head is poetically in outer space
My fingertips connect with my emotions
and they spit out comical threats
this isn't an allusion
its actually honesty
whatever you decide to gain from it
thats your destiny
NOT MY HEART NOT MY PROBLEM
Take care of you.

I’m brutally exhausted, and all I want is to be held by you
I’m slightly intoxicated, yet all I want is you
Sort of lost in this world twirling upon my chaos
I just want to curl up in a ball and hide
I just want to sit in silence and feel your fingertips gently brushing up on my spine
Planting sweet kisses on my weary shoulders that get me high
All I want is another bottle of wine
All I want is to sit on the past time, rewind back to where we had it all intertwined
We weren’t in love, but oh god we could have been.
****, we could have been.

Flirting with desire, blissfully floating through you’re knowledge
Intrigued by your sense of style
Aroused by the kinkiest power
****** healing is on fire
Urging for your touch
Gets me higher
High on you
high on us
high on this power

I am not sure if this is heartbreak
Or it’s the ending to something that needed to be done

I'm a fool for getting fooled
if the lover is not oriented at the beginning?
How can the lover be disoriented at the end?
Please make me wild
Having nothing to lose has made me fearless
Basking in the thought of you
Poems with the front door open
I prefer the rose before it bloomed.

Always recognize
the illusions
and myths
-about romantic lovers.

I’ve seen this behavior before
when it rains
it pours
thankful for the struggle that keeps me up at night
Don’t ever think that everyone who leaves wants to
2-3-4-5
I’ve vanished to another life
moonlight, poetry, and a couple of glasses of Merlot
for all of you
if you wake up with a broke heart
hug yourself gently instead of tightly
you’re fragile my dear
learn the ropes to get rid of fear
pour yourself another glass
contemplate how long you’ve ran to catch up to your life
speeding, trembling, fearing the unknown
ultimately,
we all just want someone who’s crazy about us
in a healthy way.
will you slow dance with me until the sun comes up?

I NEVER STOPPED LOVING YOU
I HOPE YOURE WELL.

Stevie nicks
Blasting in my ears
****
I haven’t had a moment to breathe
Without you breathing down my neck
Where is the time to love myself
I have none
By the time I’m done being what my parents need me to be
I come home to be what you want me to be
When do I have time to process who I am
I can’t
I. Literally cannot anymore
I have reached my cherry on top
And there are several
When should I consider the end being in the end

how are you supposed to tell a person things without them not feeling the intensity of your words
I am not for everyone, and that is my magic
You cannot take that from me
I am starting to loose my self because you have constantly kept finishing faults in me
Imagine telling someone who is so sensitive
You no longer want to be involved in their family
Given the dynamics of us
How do you expect me to not feel pain knowing that
Knowing that the picture I have painted in my life was not this
I grew up daydreaming of marriage and kids
That completely has vanished but when I see kids I feel a sort of emptiness
Mind you
I understand that this is what I have chosen
I am still allow to feel the pain
It does not just vanish out of nowhere
I actually have not had the time to think
To write
To let my mind spill
Because I have centered my world around you
And unfortunately only your words have been inside my head
Tell me
How is a person supposed to feel when they hear things like
I do not want to hang out with your friends ever again
Tell me
How is someone supposed to get vulnerable and tell you everything
And you come back and slap them back in my place
Personally how am I supposed to become a better person
  When I’m constantly fed things about myself
While I know I am not perfect
I know I’m not that bad
Imagine someone telling you that every time they talk to you
You don’t know how to listen
When all you learned to do while healing was listen
The confidence within yourself
Matter, let it out
You tell me things about myself to frequent
You bring up my past relationships
And question why they ended
Because I ended them
Point blank period
Imagine knowing how someone treated you
And you are over here trying to form a conversation with them
I’m not telling you to be mean
But I know  exactly who you are
You don’t things it’s a lot for me to carry
You don’t think I’m constantly fighting things
I told you I wanted to turn the page and enjoy my time with you
You responded with
I’m drained I want to go home shower and go to sleep at 4:30 pm
Why would I stay around someone that just told me that ?
I told you from the beginning
I have layers that require patience
I have numbed myself
I have lost confidence in who I am
I asked you the other day can I come see you play kickball
I’ll even sit far you wouldn’t know I’m there
You respond back with I’d rather have somewhere I don’t have to hide

Thanks for the support

Just wow

I literally always feel like a **** person

And I’m not

I know my worth.