stop trying to analyze my mind.









that's not your job.

mORE
TELL ME WHERE YOU HAVE BEEN LATELY
YOU PROMISED YOUD BE MY BESTFRIEND
forever
whenever you were lonely
I was always there for you
I don't even know why or how
give me a reason to let go
if you know me then you know I know
I want mORE
and you gave me less
and I wanted more,

you're the major friend factor in my life
I'm sorry I didn't pull you out of your misery
I still held on
I know you're regretting the silence between us
I wish things turned out differently for you
I wish you didn't keep circling around
  ...........the same fools who often play you
but be still young one
mistakes don't make people
you make yourself
and you needed to step away from the feigns
you couldn't lean on
I know
you were always my lil shortie
and honestly
I'm glad you're in there and not dead.

you will always taste me on your tongue
that's a bitter tone
not sorry
more like
you are welcome
have you ever been held by a poet
memories
lately
I know I still stumble on your mind
twirling
with fools who forget to wash their hands before they touch me
lovesong
I make my money the best way I know how
I'm not a chase
I'm the finish line
please be good to me.

We can do this all night long
subliminal messages to tell you that I am wrong
but you just were far too gone
your mental health is chaotic and you forget to admit it
it was never my fault we failed
you were never ready for things to work out
one sided arguments
one sided accusations
one sided love
did you think I was going to stay long?
did you think I was going to continue this way?
the truth was
the truth is
your love just masked the *******
how many wrongs can I write
how many wrongs can I love.

keeping busy
I used to love the wrong one
I started becoming the wrong one
I lost myself but I gained a lesson
everyday I woke up to the darkness of my heart
I never knew how much you took from me
I was naked
I was broken
it was not your turn to fix me
it was not your job to heal me
all you had to do was love me
love every single bit of darkness in me
but
you
couldn't
handle
me.

tongue kissing
I can hear the rain
reminiscing about past love
but you've wiped it all away
tell me you like that thing I do again
tell me how much I mean to you
tell me what you love about me
tell me how I make you feel
tell me you feelin me
cause baby,
I'm  feeling you too.

you sure have been misleading this trust
my house
my tears
my fears
what I do is none of your concern
I am sure she will never be able to excite you like I did
but honestly
that's not my concern
a door closed
but a million just opened
lucky
blessed
I haven't felt this light
I haven't felt this love
I haven't felt like myself
in a while
brb.
taking this time to myself.

what a world
baby the way you kissed me last night
what a word
poetry after dark
secrets
started as lovers
no need for pressure love
our passion is keeping me up a night
thank you
for letting me sway my hips
thank you
for loving me in the dark
thank you
for kissing my back at night
whatever it is
I am down to play with lust.

Let's stay inside
I am sorry to break it to you
but you haven't really been on my mind
I just started regaining my worth
self love
baby
self hope
imagine a world where I stopped loving myself
picture perfect
you never even fit my image
startled
but I wept
rendezvous
you were the reasons I hurt inside
I am so happy to have escaped heartache in one piece
I don't want you, and I don't need you.

good luck.

why would you call it love when you knew it wasn't

Nothing even matters

I am a brutally soft woman.

The girl who lost things
why is money always such a sensitive topic
researching ways to not let things get to me
whats mine is mine
I need to pray more
I need to hug my mind
and let my creativity pour up glasses
thirsting for the wrong love
every wrong is a lesson
truth be told,
I'm being tested from above
Ive got to cultivate my light
real recognize real
poetry since the morning
my love,
you inspired me.

I was not myself for weeks
yet nobody noticed.

There is a lot
but there are no options
I have never given up on myself
lovesick
heartless
heartbreak
I've lost my confidence
praying to god to hear me out
faith, conscious, love
all these self help books
are getting repetitive

Temporary feelings will remain dead
I am not here to amuse your childish plays
Ive been through so many roller coasters
i can finally say, I've been flying away
when i am writing
my head is poetically in outer space
My fingertips connect with my emotions
and they spit out comical threats
this isn't an allusion
its actually honesty
whatever you decide to gain from it
thats your destiny
NOT MY HEART NOT MY PROBLEM
Take care of you.

I must learn to be content with being happier than i deserve.

Jazz
Jazz
whatever it is
It sprinkled unexpected doses of wisdom and insight
Can you focus on just me?
I am not allowed to beg you to stay
But i am allowed to show you what you should settle for
the rest can expand within us.

Always recognize
the illusions
and myths
-about romantic lovers.

I'm a fool for getting fooled
if the lover is not oriented at the beginning?
How can the lover be disoriented at the end?
Please make me wild
Having nothing to lose has made me fearless
Basking in the thought of you
Poems with the front door open
I prefer the rose before it bloomed.

Social media consumes us all
As if you gripping my thigh wasn't enough
I was in love once
but was it really love?
Do i even know what love is ?
Lights...camera...action...
Baby i can't stop smiling
I miss the beginning of new love
everything is awkward and sacred
The vibe of the crowd has me reminiscing
about you
about us
about what we were
about what we could have been
Rays of sunshine
as you stumble upon my weary mind
is that love ??
or is that a type of love?

These feelings are bottled in.
You stay on your prime,
I'm being too available
My bad for being ferocious
These Heartaches have me feeling
foolish
Hats off to the magic wand
it swiped  me off my feet
when it met with cupid
and shot me stupid
I fell in love
****...I felt stupid
I can't feel the same with another
Had me judging all the others
Don't know what you did to me
Had me twirling purposely
Changed me for love, it was all for love
I started to love you
You're in my mind, floating around my fears
Cant fully breathe,
You have me floating
Fairytale hosting
You belong to me
You deserve my loving.

Tongue kissing on a chilly night
Hazy views are on my mindset
Poetry is all i feel for you
Tongue kissing on a chilly night

Refection on nothing
But anxiety
Apparently, lately
having a mental illness is a thing
much more than i wanted
much more than i needed
However
Ive misplaced every downfall with you
I lately observe more than i need to know
Please stop asking questions
If you don't want the right answers
Virgo.

Overplaying magic
All these comical signs
but I'm blinded by things that disturb my peace
Frequent
A lot of muses and tunes later
I twirl in lust with a man that's in love with my highs
I'm always in my zone
pretending one day my mother would call
I have been through enough
That's why i tend to always
Reflect and reminisce on what's left

I NEVER STOPPED LOVING YOU
I HOPE YOURE WELL.

flip the page
hurry up and change the script
no one cares if you’re struggling
shake away your demonic feeling
and find a way out
do not let life make you cold
Never discredit your gut instinct
simplicity is the ultimate sophistication
you’ll wish you did me different one day
God will come through for you
just be patient.

I’ve seen this behavior before
when it rains
it pours
thankful for the struggle that keeps me up at night
Don’t ever think that everyone who leaves wants to
2-3-4-5
I’ve vanished to another life
moonlight, poetry, and a couple of glasses of Merlot
for all of you
if you wake up with a broke heart
hug yourself gently instead of tightly
you’re fragile my dear
learn the ropes to get rid of fear
pour yourself another glass
contemplate how long you’ve ran to catch up to your life
speeding, trembling, fearing the unknown
ultimately,
we all just want someone who’s crazy about us
in a healthy way.
will you slow dance with me until the sun comes up?

You thought  you started new, but I took a toll on all that’s new
I needed to refresh the page to my story
To many hiding secrets are catching up to my glory
Overused love has lost its power, honored to be in your hour
I made sense when I was lost
I came across to all that was tossed
Wasted feelings are for restless beings
I needed to be up on all my dreams
Awakened by  my senses and surprised by my tensions.
It’s been an unpleasant ride, but I roared through chaos like a vulture.
I was hungry for adventure and keen to endure it.
I salute my chaos it never seemed to bore me.

I didn’t need saving
I simply needed healing
Amused by this wicked downcast
Soft tones are for those who don’t feel the music
I’m liberal on this journey filled with beats
I glanced at my past
It startled me so I hustled
I dashed, I fled.
I exclaimed my love, and that should be desired.

What goes on in my mind is quite absurd, yet breathtaking.
hopeless feelings, errors, and honesty give me meaning.
A proper gentleman mixed with some sweet wine
I pranced along the journey of lust and faithful lies
Floating on cloud 9, or somewhere many clouds ahead.
Everything is not lost, but I am.
Mind is wandering along the negative sea.
I’m swimming along the shore of dreams
shaken,
I Cherished these wicked falls
They have thrilled my gigantic heart
And I treasure them as I giggle at the wrongs and make things right
I am only human baby let me **** up

1:23 am -this exhale just brought me back to life
The music has influenced my environment
Strangers and lovers and thirsty hearts lingering in my presence
Being pulled by my sides by you and reminded I was beautiful
1:27 am -that moment made me reassure my being
I was loved, I was drunk, I was high, I was in love
And that’s all it took, we danced, we danced, and we danced.
Tongues hungry for each other’s minds
Your knowledge excites me; your heart evaporates in me softly.
Your touch is irresistible, and I’d be a fool if I decided to resist you.
3:00 am- the goodbyes were a mess
Is this forever can we be that again
Can we do that again and again
Come back and love me I want to be around you again.
4:00 am- your knowledge excites me, you’re in my mind, you’re in my tongue, you’re in my breath, you’re in my ear, you’re in my sense, you’re in my head.
Back and forth, it was you, all about you.
5:00 am- intoxicated thoughts.

There is this part of me that will always remain hidden,
And that’s the world, the evolving of beautiful chaos, intertwined in beauty
Have you appreciated sympathy before appealing for an applaud?
What is reward without tears?
What are fears without goals?
Viewing things from my heart benefits the truth
Viewing things from my mind understands the truth
Running from the lack of freedom, why do we feel trapped in our own beings?
**** just got real, **** just got deep, and I just needed to stop and just feel.
I got this part of me that makes me go crazy
Smart people seem like crazy people to dumb people.
Hypocrites are overpopulating our world
Stop bashing on what you hate, yet promote what you love
I don’t want to compare your story to anyone else’s.
It was unique , I separated it from the rest.

I’m brutally exhausted, and all I want is to be held by you
I’m slightly intoxicated, yet all I want is you
Sort of lost in this world twirling upon my chaos
I just want to curl up in a ball and hide
I just want to sit in silence and feel your fingertips gently brushing up on my spine
Planting sweet kisses on my weary shoulders that get me high
All I want is another bottle of wine
All I want is to sit on the past time, rewind back to where we had it all intertwined
We weren’t in love, but oh god we could have been.
****, we could have been.

Is it too sad to become depressingly hopeless of it all,
At first, I packed my heart up and left, I stayed heartless
Second, I decided to grab my mind and leave again, I was mindless, and heartless
Third, I gave up and grabbed my soul and pushed it away, I became soulless, mindless, and heartless
Fourth, I became alone, I forgot my value, and my worth.
I was soulless, mindless, and heartless
Then you did it,
You believed in me, you showed me the sun, you helped me run without the gun, and it was too much fun.

Who knew all you needed to do was a bit of self-cleaning
A bit of self-healing
Woke up and I took a deep breath
My god this life is a catastrophe
It’s so unpleasant
I launched a substantial amount of smoke in my lungs
I flew away, in my brain
I was gleaming
I roared I wept I bawled
I wanted to settle
I wanted more.
It was never enough

Flirting with desire, blissfully floating through you’re knowledge
Intrigued by your sense of style
Aroused by the kinkiest power
****** healing is on fire
Urging for your touch
Gets me higher
High on you
high on us
high on this power