Guess what
You are not what you think your are
You may think your lips are ugly
I still want them on mine
You may think your hips are fat
I still want to put my hands on it
You may think your face is ugly
I still want to caress it
You may think your figure is unattractive
I still want to feel it pressed up against me
You may think you are stupid
I still want to talk to you
You may think your scars are ugly
I still want to hear every story
You may think your eyes are ugly
I still get lost in them
You may think your nose Is ugly
I still want to give it a rub with mine
You may think you are needy
I still want to hold you
You may think you are rude
I still prefer your company
You may dislike every part of yourself
I will still disagree with you
Now and until my breath completely runs out

You may hateyourself
But I still love you

Ten million dry tears
Nine million fake smiles
Eight million different faces
Seven million manipulations of the truth
Six million screams of anger
Five million unthrown punches
Four million days of anger
Three million hopeless thoughts
Two million buckets of effort from me
One million from you
One hundred thousand thoughts about how you will hate yourself
Fifty thousand apologies you will never hear
Ten thousand apologies you'll hear
Five thousand tears
One thousand itching lips
Five hundred itching lips
One hundred itching lips
Fifty itching lips
Twenty itching lips
Ten itching lips
Five itching lips

I have not been there for you
I have not told you that you're beautiful in over a week
I haven't made you smile for over a week
I haven't made a ***** joke to make you chuckle
I haven't given you advice for over a week
I haven't pushed you to confront yourself
All in all I'm sorry my dear one but I'm a ****** friend

I'm sorry
That
I haven't
Made you feel
Special

Lately

I listened to Bukowski
Found what I love,
And let it **** me
But what do I do now?
I still seem to be breathing

They say there is a song for everything
For every triumph
For each failure
For everything

Well ?

Is there a song for me?

A song that ranges from a soft operatic voice to a death metal voice
The chirruping almost sickening happiness voice
The soft melancholic voice
Is there a song like that?

Well?

Is there a song for me?

A song that will tell you about my smiles when I was younger
A song that will indulge you within emotions I never understood
A song that will take you through the fear of the first rugby game and the pain of the fractured wrist
The daunting experience of a first crush ....
The terror of being plunged in awareness.....
The horror of being ostrasized
Spending my time alone with my new awareness
Being taunted
Being teased

Well.....

Is there a song for me?

A song to show my emotions
My realization that I was different
My horror at being different
My hatred at the world
My hatred at god
And his falsehoods
My looking into a mirror and seeing naught but something you hate
My masochism
My scars
My life.....

Well

Is there a song for me?

I have played too long
   all
my
toys
    are
broken