my heart hurts
my head migraines like a dualshock ps4 controller rumbling on a drive train

my heart hurts , i feel empty
but knowing she is there
to hear her voice everything is a little bit better

when frost bite chomps
knowing a warm blanket awaits makes it a little bit better

when my long lost pet engulfed in an apartment fire
seeing claw marks on my hardwood floor make it a little bit better

when a black eye from a fist fight swells
knowing i stood up for a cause makes it a little bit better

just to hear you voice makes life
makes this chest consumption
a little.
bit.
better.

if i put a gun to my temple
and shattered my skull
pulverizerd my temporal lobe
it's only temporary and knowledge may fall

maybe there's a way
to let go my feelings
because i'm tired of feeling
these feeling i'm feeling

writing may help
i type to my self
because usually no one responds when
you talk
i just want someone around...

i kinda just want it to end
any good methods?
any one know a route off this highway?
my tire is flat and screeching against asphalt
engine is puffing and spewing out oil against the head bolts
i'm lacking compression but it's building up in my chest
so pierce my pressure point
so i can contest to this blade metalically dressed

does anyone know an easy way out?
because it's hurting and i'm decaying
its hard living when
when the joy is not around
and chilling means freezing out emotions to
subtle my tones
at this point i'd rather be chipped away as stone

finito

to you it may concern
when you were my lantern
my showlight
my beacon
my love

now you are a burned out filament
a shadow
tungsten opened due to excessive enthalpy
in this reaction

a surge in electrons with nowhere to arc

you were and still are my dearest friend

but like a deer caught in the headlights
maybe it's better i reverse this car a few times
and let the track marks really sink in

tarnish this engine
i will always love you
to the heavens and beyond

dearest

to pierce the sky and write away from home
to nudge the earth where the moonlight shone
to love your entity and to crack a skull
to shed my soul like feathers of seagulls
where i am know
i am known
but at this moment i cannot be known
for it is shedding
and i am wailing in silence
my life is a hole excavated by violence

leave me alone on this island to rot
for the sand through your feet will not be forgot
for i am sieved through the mesh of your foot
as crystals come and silica goes
i will always remain from your memories to your toes

There is a hole in me where my heart once laid
Happiness seems as much a mirage as a casino inviting you in to win
She seems distant but so close perhaps only in my thoughts
It does not feel any better
This metal device peering out of my chest
It hurts
But I’m filling the hole
I’m filling the hole
And this knife in my chest should be evidence ….no?
But besides the waterfalls of iron retained blood riddening it’s self out of my chest
Why do I still feel so empty?

Because when she was everything you ever loved
Without her a part of me is always missing

she smiles a bit of me dies inside
she laughs
she cries
a bit of me still cries inside

tears don't shed
so i get tattoos of them on my face
from my eyelids where the water once bled
these inked drops now take their place

i hear to **** is bad
to detain
and disembowel
is a tad worse

for my mind is my greatest gift but it may
also be my most frantic curse.