i am so hurt
strangled in my sorrows
from every angle
eyes shut a redevelopment in my bone marrow
until i cannot breathe
i have left no more stamina
breath exhaled
bones crumbled to ivory dust
i lay with a soul now empty
the grease remain scraped up with a  spatula
just know i will always love you plenty

you are my songbird and i always
rejoice to your hymn
but recently your songs make me drift apart from
reality
an altered spirituality
a renounced melancholic grin

your eyes burn
holes in me
i'm not willing to mend them
but i will fight back and love
you with a fire just as deep

when your smile fades my
heart drops just as your cheek bones do
and everyone's enthusiasm does
when your eyes sadden
my euphoria hides just as your
eagerness to welcome me does
just as an afraid bear cub does to a wrath swallowing winter  
when your smile fades
i cry in the corner and whip my self as if indiana jones did
shatter my crystal skull
granulize the pieces like the extinguishment of a burnt cigarette
my scars never fade
when your tears run
i run towards you to comfort you as beanbag chairs do
to channel flipping tv junkies
when your smile fades i will always love you
when your smile fades a part of me vaporizes
when your smile fades a part of mine grows
when your smile fades
i hope you know what it's like to be tortured
hurt and whipped
my scars upon my face just as the joker entertains
ensures my
smile never
fades
my darling *****

irony and tyranny
ironic isn't is how photographers say don't forget to smile in photos when they hate their job

funny isn't is when a comedian jokes a bout a car accident on the 401 but the audience's daughter died apart of it

silly isn't it how dentist who make great money have just as great a suicide rate

crazy isn't it how I write immense poems but read as negligible amount

odd isn't it how aunt susanne would sow sweaters but had no children

aunt susanne was at the comedy show a week after her daughter died on the 401, each sweater sown would be the same size as sally would have been that year .

she loved sally .

morning swift tides upon a bank of swiss wind eroded rocks
rock your world because no chocolate is sweeter than your smile
milk pitchered chocolate leaving a streak of vanilla as a sunburst yellow horizon streaks on the water
i love looking in to your eyes
that's when time freezes and i chill like
an eyesicle

i'm training
blood staining
body engraving
organs paining
and all you wanted was to see a smile
walk 200 billboards worth of repelling miles
worse than grocery spills
no clean up in aisle 4
and this clean up is for you