We tried so hard to stay afloat
Dodging the bullets that came spinning at our heads.

We tried to ignore the battle scars
That traced down the backs of our spine.

That final month I couldn't walk
I had nothing but open wounds.

I tried so hard to talk them out
You tried so hard to listen.

But words didn't come, instead there were daggers
I dragged you down one last time.

Now my name means nothing
For I left nothing but open wounds.

We're both bleeding.
But now we bleed alone.

I always wondered when
I was going to stumble upon
one of your pictures, I ended
up realizing you're not pouting.
I didn't really want you to anyway
I've been doing the same things I
was doing with Chaz, trying out
the nun business trying to be the
****** freaking mary so as not to
hurt you, but I'm not actually
hurting you am I? Because you're
doing just fine and I don't need
to walk on eggshells, I love you
but I don't need to walk on
eggshells I LOVE YOU but
I don't need to walk on
******* eggshells.

I'm done pouting.

I am birth and memory maker

               I am death and his undertaker

I am peace brought on in life

               I am war from pain and strife

I am love that comfort brings

               I am hate by any means

I am first before the last

               I am the die that has been cast

I am beauty in the morning dew

               I am ugly inside of you

I am shelter inside the storm

               I am the closet where turmoil is born

I am the sweet taste in the air

               I am the bitter that doesn't care

I am the battle from the start of time

               **Between the heart, Between the mind

There are only so many poems to write about heartbreak
only so many ways to say "I love you and I hate you"

Only so many ways to personify the Night and hold her accountable
for the thoughts she shoves down one's throat, fear-dripping and cold

There are only so many ways to reach out in metaphors
desperately grabbing at any emotions their words might stir

There are only so many poems to write about being a stupid kid
with a mixed-up head and a heaving heart
with a cynical mind and a disappointed shout
and only so many ways to cry it out

Only so many half-smoked cigarettes and sweet perfumes
Only so much room for oxygen tanks and desperate goodbyes
It's getting crowded here with heavy clothes and defeatist tones

But there are so many of these murky nights
and only so many ways to get by

All...
     that you are

All...
     that you know

All...
     that you see

All...
     is on loan

All...
     that is new
                    
Has now grown old

To make way for all
New seed to be sown

All...
     that you love

All...
     that you hate

All...
     of the present

All...
     past mistakes

All...
     need forgiving

Before it's to late

To make room for all
On lifes crowded highway

All...
     that it was

All...
     it now is

All...
     of it measured

All...
     sealed with a kiss

All...
     you ever needed

One ounce of bliss

What all you got
Is all it now is

I frequent a little taco stand
Every time that I'm out west
With Elvis behind the counter
Dressed in his leathers best

Janice Joplin doing dishes
With Southern Comfort breath
Arguing with fry cook Jim Morrison
Over the best way of cheating death

Jimi Hendrix works the tables
That they have set up out front
Recommending the mushroom taco
With the psychedelic crunch

Marilyn Monroe...the entertainment
Nightly serenades the gents
While wearing here favorite T-shirt
Bobby Kennedy for president

I highly recommend the little taco stand
If you ever find yourself out West
Who's going to show up to take your order that day
Could be anybody's guess