.

Nothing more than a pretty smile

There she was chasing a rabbit
with 1 am coffeecakes and weak tea
She didn’t notice I was watching
from the branches of an olive tree
A lone smile hidden amongst
swirling smoke rings in a foreign accent

To the gazebo she ran
with its straw grass tables
and pleated cushions in hibiscus
print fabric no one would sit on

My eyes followed her as she
darted around manicured boxwoods
and cherub statues spitting water
onto sleeping lily pads,
following the same schedule
as the other…identical

She came upon a dandelion
and asked politely, “Pardon me,
but have you seen a…”
The **** interrupted,
“Didn’t…don’t do drama dreams
dancing deliriously down
donut distracted ditches”
“That’s dumb” she replied
with a giggle and a snort

This must be her fun, I think,
trying to catch a white ball of fur,
big, then small,
then smaller still like a
thimble seeking a thread,
when now she is stopped
in her ziggy zagging tracks
by a June bug singing,

“I see, I see, in front of me
Dessert, dessert, set out for free
A chocolate pie, a chocolate pie
in menus written on the sky”

Perplexed she climbed upon its back
and flew, holding onto
red leather shoulder pads
with black dots changing shapes,
ducking winged arches that
covered the vestibule they
soared through when a sharp turn
pitched her to the opposite side…

Landing with a thud,
her new dress now soiled
between the wrinkles in time
that had ticked away
on a clock faced sun named Ray

She cried carrot tears,
orange sherbet streams
on peach tone cheeks,
marmalade miseries
and mango miscues
piddling on her patent leather shoes,
ready to give up

When it appeared, hopping happily
Jumping into her lap
and licking her face
She caressed its fur, removing
sticker burs and scratching
just the right spot, as its right rear leg
thumped with joy

Then lifting the bundled bunny
to her face, she kissed it tenderly
with wild cherry gloss lips,
or should I say…kissed me
for you see, all along, it was me

And you thought I was nothing more than a pretty smile…..

.

The first time I kissed you

was the most amazing moment
in my entire life

and I would have held it
just a little while longer

if only I had known

it would

also be the last time

.

It was a beautiful dream,

sultry skin tightly against mine,
soft sighs echoed in the night

frantic fingers clutched satin sheets as
passion erupted in a torrid frenzy,

when sensual lips again invited

and I kissed you once more

before falling asleep

.

Drizzle coated the billboard
sitting on that desolate stretch of highway
waiting for someone to read
or at least hide behind, parked car, back seat
steamed windows, sighs just above a holler,
a collar unbuttoned,
casual abundance with the radio on
seeking a Clapton tune
as nimble fingers
show the difference between a slow hand
and a destined position,
where rain doesn’t matter
because it I just as wet inside
though hotter than an August day,
perspiring in the friction
as love hits the four way flashers
blinkers accelerate, left, right, faster,
names are called, tears are cried
and the road home now beckons . . .

I stared into the shadows
of a lover’s distant past
Heard whispers in the darkness
of the spell her heart did cast

As it raked across my feelings
and I cried out in the night
When this smile I was wearing
fit a little bit too tight

With her painted nails of crimson
like the color of my blood
She clawed at my emotions
as the silhouettes did flood

This morning found believing
that our time is filled with fate
Where I find my voice is screaming,
please don’t tell me it’s too late

She collected every promise
on the worries I did call
For she wanted me to know that
I could never have it all

Still I crawled into the silence
with my eyes so open wide
And together we were drowning
in the motion of the tide

In her arms now spun the seconds
of the minutes I could spare
Like a clock that’s steady ticking
darkened rhythms sent to share

Drinking thirsty from the fountain
as her finger it did press
On the chrome implanted wishes
of an early moon confess

For her smile was infectious
as it hid her ***** deeds
When I fell intoxicated
still to stagger in these needs

Tried to gaze off in the distance
but my vision could not stay
I was trapped in her seduction
and I could not look away

.

We lay in the soft grass

picking out shapes in the white fluffy clouds
as they wander across

a brilliant blue sky

You gaze above and whisper
“I have never seen anything more beautiful”

I stare at their reflection in your eyes and say,

“Neither have I”

.

On an island
in the midst of the crowded city street
Traffic lights blink
as colored tear drops hit the pavement

One way signs
all seem to point in your direction
casting aspersions,
via black and white arrows

Sidewalks filled
with throngs of gawking onlookers,
mouths wide open,
peering from the side of their faces

The deepening sadness
leaves you vulnerable to prying eyes
leering at your flesh,
exposed to high rise windows

You hang your head,
chin against your unclothed chest
and you see not one,
but two shadows on the asphalt

Suddenly you are
draped in the finest cloth money can buy,
shielded from the audience
who now divert their attention elsewhere

Turning, you see a friend,
naked, as his clothing now adorns your body
and you feel safe
with him at least for the moment

and sometimes a moment is all that is needed

.

I love September

because I got to spend
each beautiful day with you

and now tonight,
as I dream once again

of kissing you tomorrow

I am reminded,

I love October too

Silent through threatening skies,
beneath a cloudbank of tethered realities
it floats on gasping winds of final breaths,
smoky residue of lives squandered

For this is its place
among the ruins of society,
screeching along desolate highways
of fallen fences and shattered exit signs

Picking at the pieces of wasted dreams,
fragments of past relationships and
shards of broken hearts
splintering the bleak landscape

Thriving on a saddened carcass
rotting in the face of time,
reaching for minutes which have
long since been stopped

Oh what a life, it cackles,
following echoes of pleading voices
seeking that fresh meat,
rancid memories to be cast aside

As this is its idea of heaven,
eternity at the crossroads,
an intersection of stupidity and hopelessness,
where it shall feed forever

.

When sleepless evenings

endlessly gather in lonely hours
keeping you from your dreams

I feel bad because I love you,

but wonder if this is the reason
that every night

you are in mine

Warning: This is a political rant so beware as you read.

.

One hundred and fifty billion
(another 1.3 billion reported today 8/25/16)
and four hundred million…in cash
To an enemy who views women as slaves,
second, no third class (not even sure “citizens” works here)
Makes soldiers of children/babies
Funds terrorist organizations
who’s goal it is to eradicate Israel
and the United States or anyone else
who doesn’t share their beliefs

What is our response?
Blank checks for death and (lives)
and the signers smile,
lie, (it wasn’t a ransom) smile, lie (what emails?), smile
(Oh crap, they found more)
Why am I humming "Lying Eyes" right now (sorry Eagles)
The one in office
and the one who wants to be,
who stands for women’s rights…huh?
(See lines 4 and 5 in the first stanza)
WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES IT MAKE?

Yet all the media can do
is bash someone with a big mouth
Who shouts, points fingers,
makes accusations, demands that laws be obeyed
wants to protect us, is a racist
(because he calls someone of Mexican heritage a…Mexican)  
Wait, what?
Incites passion and feelings in supporters
who are colored (that’s not racist, is it) as crazy,
losers, deranged, cry babies (Phew, at least not soldier babies)
Because they want something different
Something different…so different,……..like the truth?
(That would be different)

When the rich dude is tagged
#The top recruiter for a terrorist organization
Ha, ha, that’s funny, nice one
Let’s all have a nice laugh, there is nothing wrong with that
High fives all around, media parties ensue
But when he brands those two the founders
and co-founders of the same org.
Whoa, shut the front door, wash your mouth out with soap
Sit in the corner, get a psyche evaluation
Who would say such a thing
Only an insane person, only a loonie, (no offense Canada)
What has this world come too?
Check the news, they’ll let you know (their side)

Still there are those who fight
for their rights to place some of those blank checks
in their pockets, SOLD!!! And the gavel comes down
Who owns who? Should anybody own anybody?
China is fine on nice linen where Russia serves the good *****,  
but that is of no special interest to you or me,
that’s what raising Taxes is for…right?
And hell we can build our own babies,
we have the parts and they are paid for...
by those “T” things I mentioned a few lines above  

Reminds me of another song, let me see,
"Four dead in Ohio" yeah, that's it, CSN &Y;
but it's not, is it?  Something like...
"Four dead in Benghazi" Now there's a song for her,
Dead soldiers and someone's calling
when she's asleep all alone
**** it, one of you answer that thing,
It's the ambassador on the phone...(again)
Just say it's a video,
just say it's a video,
four dead in...
CAN'T HE SEE I'M SLEEPING?

Oh and we all need a firm, sturdy,
corrupt (did I say that out loud?)
foundation to administer favors,
show preferential treatment,
to stand on to count the profits
from the pay to play scheme
Who cares if it is foriegn,
that stuff works just as good a U.S. cash
and besides we need all we can get,
we've got Bill's (women) to pay, and maybe to build those
5 houses in Haiti, maybe...and don't forget
the yoga classes and wedding arrangements,
that stuff ain't cheap
Oh, did I mention that some of the countries paying for
this stuff treat women like crap? Just checking.

Parading around in a stained blue dress,
(no, no, no, that was that other chick)
promising what, where, when, HOW?
"Promising" huh...what's that?
(I always thought it was something you should keep)
Hand outs, free lunches
(but I thought there was no such thing as a free, oh never mind)
That must be it, it must be,
because I can think of no other reason
to support terrorism, to support the lies
and the smiles (and you know I am a smile guy)

Wake up people, (including politicians in the same party)
quit hitting the snooze button over and over and over,
open your eyes, see the light while you still can
For the people, by the people,
Now there’s a novel idea, what a concept
But what am I thinking…I am the enemy,
I am a member of the…middle class,
I should just learn to keep my big mouth shut…YAWN

"Put that in your basket of deplorables and smoke it"

(I was going to send this in an email, but it got deleted with all of the rest of them)  

**My name is Stephan and I approve this poem

.

I’m usually sad when it rains

and as I walk today

all alone

feeling it hit
my shoulders

like so many tear drops

I understand why

.

What the hell is wrong with me,
where does this circus come from
Three rings that seem to open new tents in my mind
Dark tents filled with wild and dangerous thoughts,
pacing in a cage, waiting to be released
Yeah, you just try and make me
jump through one of those fiery hoops,
see where your head ends up and where
that whip is shoved

Sawdust everywhere as I parade around
Fluffing my feathers, thinking I know,
Proud ain’t even close to how I feel
as I swing from the trapeze,
sequins glistening,
looking for the meaning, the why
I keep asking why…why as I once again
light the fuse with cotton candy fingers,
shot from a cannon, screaming,
there is no net, not for me, not for these thoughts

Open this door and let me out,
I’m stuffed in this little car
with a bunch of clowns, painted on smiles
big floppy shoes and ****, they are all me
(Send in the clowns, I hate that song)
and I hate these thoughts
Juggled about, like so many *****
flying through the air, never touching the ground
and there they are, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls,
children of all ages, staring, laughing, pointing,
shoveling popcorn in their faces
then running in fear as these thoughts
escape confinement once again

Don’t you get it, can’t you see,
this is real, this is me
I love, I love deeply, I can’t guess your weight
but I can feel you rummaging for tickets
in my heart and all I have is for you
Free admission, stop by the petting zoo,
Share a branch with a giraffe, share
Share, wow, maybe that’s it,
maybe that’s why I smile
when the tents come down
heading for another place

another town

another time

send out the clowns

.............

I guess you just never know
when it is going to happen
one day here, bright blue skies
cool breezes and then ****, gone

What were the thoughts, those thoughts
things you were planning on saying
when the time was right
It was never right, or was it

In a flash, self promises become regrets
wishes end and dreams disappear
if those things still exist
when you don’t

And what is the next step
crying for all of those things
or nothing becomes your world
and the darkness is darker

Free-falling, wondering
if what is left behind cares
probably not, you aren’t and never were
and never will be again

It comes, when you least expect it
You go, when you least expect it
So, expect it……………..

.

Of broken branch and multi-colored stone façade
the pathway steals my outward glance
Winding through the cottage hills
like kite string freed by a strong wind, it spills
Patterns shadow in abstract array
through barbed wire and solid steel
barricades, creating menacing shapes,
criss-crossing narrow wheel ruts of long ago

Obstacles, of stead and stood,
branded in a wilting wood
directions carved to empty me of all I know as good

Within my chest sits a living compass,
beating my quest in a never ending melody,
sweet as caramel cream pie and pointing
towards the sun, which sits before me
two hills above the horizon on this new day
Temptation beckons over my right shoulder,
whistling in the breeze of delicious
offerings, and I do hunger

Take your glow of nectarines
cool refreshing summer streams
for I shan’t waver, not an inch, her love calls in my dreams

Midday, as the solar glow finds my shoulders red
and sweat clings like life in dampened conclusions,
blisters form bringing the pain of decisions made before
and I would have it no other way, for this I deserve
Mountains faced of fractured stone break my crawl,
rubble sweeps my feet, as my knees bleed,
thirst speaks in the language of a long feared enemy,
yet I do not listen…

State your case in hammered stone
tear my skin of broken bone
no tethered vines of loneliness shall sway me from my home

My shadow now waits before me, long and slender,
molded by dried weathered foot prints, my foot prints,
once heading a direction opposite my heart
Many years old yet still their outline remains as a warning,
When I see it, the lilac arbor, scented in old desires and
new in life, encasing a glow, melodies of gold finch song
as my eyes find your smile, an extended hand, a soft touch
I have found my way home, to you

*Decisions made along the way
mistaken steps of lost array
when found my every dream it longs within your arms to stay

.

A daffodil sang
love songs

to a lonely butterfly

as we shared a kiss
among the tulips

while listening

.

On those dire days

when your smile

has abandoned you and worry walks
in your shadow

I will also be walking, but by your side

with one

only for you

.

I sat at my piano

tickling the keys

as your lips
tickled mine

and our hearts composed
a perfect duet

in the key of love

.
In a destined voice I shall speak my heart
beyond waning sunsets with colorful smiles
and fields of dancing sunflowers,
waving at me in the breeze like they know me

Standing here above all else,
feeling taller than I should
builds a certain strength in my soul,
energizes this tired, once worn out man with new life

Breathing the altitude’s wintered air,
a rush of splendor entices a gleam in my eye
For whatever beauty I may see, there is always her
and I can truly look nowhere else

I have climbed this peak, fought the terrain, the cold,
clawed and scraped on this day
so that the world below, humming autumn tunes,
meandering like ants performing their duties

Would know what I am about to say,
in this moment of peaceful serenity,
eyes wide open, conquering my fears,
pulse racing in fevered flow as anticipation swells, is true

Taking a deeper breath burns my lungs, but in a good way
as I move two steps closer to the edge, gather my balance
and shout from this apex of the world,
“I love you more than anything”
in hopes my desperate echoes find her listening

.

She called while driving

needing directions
I offered my assistance

I smiled when she said I was the best
personal GPS ever

then she smiled when she realized

all of my directions
were leading her

straight to my heart

.

She said it to me again today,

and every time I hear it

it feels just as wonderful as the first time

when I hoped it wouldn’t be

the last time

.

Sluggish, my eyes barely focus,
headlights seem faint
through this cracked windshield
in heavy traffic, bending lanes
with detour signs collecting travelers
like gas station snow globes,
displayed in between blurred white lines

Monstrous *** holes shake me awake
from the thoughts crawling
deep within a weary mind,
a casualty of a night to forget
which will not soon be forgotten
as digital numbers, glaring red
catch my eye and I see . . . 5:38 am

Darkness instantly engulfs the cab of this truck,
dash lights cringe and flash hypnotically,
out of round tires draw skid marks
on a lonely winding pavement
As my feet fall through the floor boards,
scraping on glass shard encrusted asphalt
bleeding beyond the speed limit

White knuckles grip the wheel
while doors become giant guillotines,
slashing at faux leather seats,
exposing rancid foam leaking
battery acid on the engine’s severed heads
Everything begins to spin, losing control,
as I finally screech to a halt at a stubborn traffic light

When I glance to my right and I see her,
singing along with her radio,
more beautiful than any song I’ve ever heard
She notices me staring and smiles,
then rolls down her window and blows me a kiss,
I roll down mine as she points to a little coffee shop
and says, “Care to join me?”  I nod in agreement

I once again catch a glimpse of the clock . . . 5:39 am,
but suddenly time no longer matters

.

Parallel visions and sifted thoughts
on an amber thread, thin as the beliefs
once found as hope, now falling
beneath sorrowed wings gently gliding

Through hazy eyes and broken tears,
tarnished memories flow within this dawn
as you fade off in the distance, soaring ever higher,
disappearing beyond the horizon

Silence fills the maze that is your mind,
leaving you staring at dead ends and fractured turns,
as the realization that you didn’t matter
forms on clouds of whispering breaths and no one cares

And in the end, you are not sure yourself
from where you once came, a blotted image
on empty shorelines of tangled debris
which may be easily forgotten but endlessly haunts

Still you fly on, seeking those patterns,
abstract meanings that flourish within
the heart of this wanderer, eyes focused
on all of the beauty that awaits

For you know she sits, above the border,
just past the last exit of sadness, dreaming,
always dreaming the same, you do matter,
you do, to her

.

As we sit together

beneath a sprawling maple
amidst colorful leaves

floating to the ground
like painted snow flakes

I think that autumn
must be the season of my heart

because I am forever

falling for you

.

I picked up my pen

to create the most beautiful
and alluring love inspired work of art

anyone had ever dreamed of
and like I always do,

I thought of you

and once again remembered  . . .  
it had already been accomplished

I put down my pen

.

I remember that old electric guitar,
no name brand, a Fender knockoff,
stripped and painted
to look like an American flag
because Peter Fonda made it cool

That Silvertone amp, volume cranked
reverb, two inputs, tubes, bass, treble,
when Sears was the place where
music dreams came alive
because Dad had a credit card

Out in my parent’s garage,
Skippy on drums and John on bass
Wearing shades in the dark like John Kay
A tape recorder mike hanging from the ceiling
Playing “The Pusher” at all hours

Until the neighbors called my mom
and we had to shut the door
or turn it down, we shut the door
Black light posters, an old couch,
power saws and Christmas decorations

We were gonna be stars, rock stars
Chicks would dig us and guys would envy us
Our hair down to our shoulders
Incense to hide certain smells
Bad *** wasn’t even a term yet, but we were

Patch covered jeans, zig zag
and faded denim jackets,
peace signs and headbands,
Santana and Arlo, “Alice’s Restaurant”
Nothing could stop us

I remember that old electric guitar,
the guys are gone now, not dead, just gone
I can still hear Alvin Lee rocking “I’m coming home”
But somewhere along the line I got old (grew up)
when I wasn’t paying attention I guess

I still wear my hair a little long, a little
and I have nice collection of guitars
But that “Rock Star” dream faded long ago
Now I carry a different instrument,
I carry a pen...

and it’s a name brand pen