As she walks down the road, she’s sees him. He is sitting on a park bench. The sun is beating down on his face he is an older man.  
She keeps walking by not realizing this man would someday have an important part in her life.
She keeps walking down the streets, she is going to school. She sees the people on the street but do they see her?
Did the older man see her? She sees him every day, wondering why he is there.

It's hard to hear your name.
It's hard to talk about you, when I know nothing about who you really are.
I want to believe that you are different.
I want to believe that you can show others who you truly are.
Because I only saw the part that wanted nothing good for me.
Do you care?
Do you miss me?
Do you ever hear my name?
Does the memory of me ever keep you up at night?
Do you ever want to cry, because of what you did?
Why won’t you admit it?

You will never understand how much it hurts.
Your empty words don’t help.
Don't try to make it seem like you care.
When you are part of the reason I'm feeling this way.

I want to be a butterfly
Butterflies are unique not one alike.
Butterflies use to mean nothing to me.
Until I started getting older
Butterflies fly and go where ever life takes them.
I want to be a beautiful yellow butterfly that flies and goes where ever life takes it.
A beautiful free butterfly with no care in the world is what I want to be.
So, gentle and loving, so sweet and beautiful.
I want to be a butterfly please.

being alone
2. spiders
3. ghosts and demons
4. being watched by a ghost
5. creepy noises when I’m sleeping
6. my anxiety consuming me
7. my depression consuming me
8. the dark of my bad days
9. death…
10. you leaving me
11. you lying to me about how you feel
12. you cheating on me
13. you loving another girl while you’re with me
14. you just learning to love someone else
15. that I’m not enough
16. that I’m not enough for you…
17. that everything you have ever told me has all been a lie
18. that one day I will be a bad mother
19. that one day I will be a bad wife
20. that I will remain a bad person forever
21. that I might ever not learn to love myself the way I deserve
22. that I won’t be happy
23. that I actually am a bad person
24. that people talk about me behind my back
25. that no one actually likes me for who I am
26. that everybody is faking
27. that everybody really hates me
28. that I deserve all of this…
29. bugs
30. bats
31. ants
32. snakes
33. creepy old men
34. the internet
35. people who don’t know me
36. people who will hurt me
37. people who think I deserve the way they treat me
38. people who hurt me regardless
39. people who don’t care about me
40. being broken again and again and again…

Your love was never mine.
Even though I thought it was.
Because my love was yours.
I was so deep and I didn’t realize you didn’t feel the same.
I was blind, even though every sign was there that your love wasn’t mine.
Why did I have to fall in love, why did you not love me?
At times, I ponder late at night when everything has gone to sleep, I ponder if somehow i really wasn’t blind.
Maybe you did love me?
Will I ever know for sure, or will I always wonder?