Dear depression,
You've been killing me inside for eight years now
Dear depression,
You've kept me in bed because the thoughts in my head consume me and eat me alive.
Dear depression,
I've faked a smile and skipped a meal for too long.
Dear depression,
Your best friend anxiety always kicks me when I'm down and causes my heart to stop and my hands to tremble when facing my fears.
Dear depression,
You've told me I'm not pretty enough so many times, to the point where I dodge the mirror and hide behind a mask.
Dear depression,
I've tried to numb you with alcohol and drugs but it only makes it worse.
Dear depression,
I'm tired of you. I'm tired of you determining my happiness and I'm tired of you making me stay when I could've went out.

Little girl I know you have had a hard life.
You say you’re sorry and you shy away from the world.
Little girl I know you were abused.
I know your birth family didn’t want you.
Little girl I know you tried to make things work with your mother.
Little girl I know you love your grandma more than yourself.
Little girl I know you were bullied in school.
Little girl you aren’t so little anymore.
You are a teenager now.
I know suicide consumed your thoughts when you turned 12.
I know the voices in your head became louder, when you didn’t have anyone to talk to.
I know knifes and razors became your friend at age 13.
I know you were still abused and you wanted to get out of your parents’ home.
I know you wanted someone to listen to you.
I know how hard your life is, because I’m you.

My scars will fade and all will be forgotten. Right?
I hope once my scars fade I don’t remember why I started self-harming.
I hope I don’t remember anything, I hope everything really will be forgotten

I'm okay
It's been a good day
You don't need to stay
Just go away
I don't care
I wouldn't dare
There's nothing to beware
I think it's fair
It's not my doing
There's no storm brewing
It's a happy tune I sing
You're dreaming

I'm a liar
I'm a monster
I'm a good for nothing freak
I'm a cheater
I'm a spider
Don't listen when I speak

Go for it
I can, you bet
It's cool, don't worry
My memory is a bit blurry
I'm available
I'm willing and able
I'm not that bad
It's sad
I like it
I don't want to quit
I don't regret a thing
There's more I can bring

I'm a liar
I'm a monster
I'm a good for nothing freak
I'm a cheater
I'm a spider
Don't listen when I speak

Welcome to my web of lies
These are only a few of my devious cries
I'm really something to despise
I'm where any dream comes and dies
I'm a disease to be hated
One that I created
Fabricated
And my greed can't be sated
But before you turn away
My whole life has been this way
It's been a lie, and I believed it
And since I found truth my heart has been a pit
I am a walking lie
And all I ask for is to die
These last words are the truth behind me
My reason, my torment, my misery

I'm a liar
I'm a monster
I'm a good for nothing freak
I'm a cheater
I'm a spider
Don't listen when I speak