I count every calorie of every day
Hoping one day I will be as beautiful as you.
I need to lose weight, you told me I was fat, gross, and a *****.
You wonder why I’m so insecure.
I’m not allowed to get mad at you when you hit me and make me feel worthless.
I look in the mirror thinking of everything you have ever told me, I think about all my imperfections and my mistakes I have made.
Sometimes I think about what my daddy said and I think I’m strong enough to leave you, but I stay and you know I will.  
I whisper loving words in your ear at night.
Praying you will do the same one day.

When is this all going to change?
I’m hungry, cold, and tired.
I don’t know where I’m going to be sleeping next.
I don’t have a home a place where I feel safe and warm.
My family is falling apart; they act like they will live forever.
Make up don’t fight anymore! I’m tired of dealing with your problems.
I’m dying inside and someday there will be nothing left, my soul will die and it will be all over.

The glass house sits there waiting to be shattered,
the people inside are the ones who will shatter it with their words and actions.
The people inside yell and everyone knows even though they try to hide it.
The girl inside is scared her parents are going to get a divorce. She hides and tries to not listen to the fighting.
She’s tired of having to keep going back there.
The other lady inside hates her she has told the girl.
It seems so hopeless but the girl still tries to make everything alright.
But she needs help herself but she will never ask the people in the house for it.
The glass house keeps shattering because of the mean words and the girl tries to rebuild it.
She wants to get out of there and she can but she is still afraid of what lies ahead. The girl is afraid she will fail.
Even when she leaves the broken glass house to spend time with the rest of the family she pushes them away she doesn’t want them to get hurt trying to pick up the shattered pieces of her life because she is hurt herself by trying to fix things.
What is the girl supposed to do?
She needs help can’t the people inside the house see that?
Don’t they care?
But in the end it doesn’t matter because it shatters slowly and then it breaks all at once
and the girl can’t do anything anymore she can’t fix the house, she could never fix it. The house was already breaking she didn’t see that though.

I’m lost in a million different worlds, I’m tangled and weaved into lives that aren’t mine.
At night I slowly fall into my  world hoping someone will comfort me tonight.
I lie and say I’m fine when I really want to scream.
I see you, I want to reach out and touch your face.
I see you every night. I want you to comfort me but you never do, you never did. Why don’t you?
I think I’m going crazy; I don’t want to see you anymore in my world.
Leave me alone! I hate you.

Everything had to be perfect. I had to have a knife, music and band aids.
I pick up the knife and slowly pull up my sleeve so my wrist can be seen.
I cut my wrist slowly thinking of all the reasons I want to cut.
I think about everything anyone has ever told me. I try to stop but I can’t.
I lied to myself and I keep telling myself I can stop.
Cut, cut, cut, blood.
The blood slowly goes down my wrist and I cry.
I want to stop I really do. I close my eyes; I sit down on the floor thinking about all my thoughts in the dark bathroom.

He slowly got up and leaned on me for support,
One foot in front of the other he slowly starts walking.
A little trouble but there he goes he’s walking.
A little fall but he gets right back up he’s fine.
He slowly walks to the front door opens it slowly and he walks outside on the porch.
He looks around like he is seeing everything for the first time, He looks at the trees, he hears the birds singing a beautiful song. He see’s kids in the street playing on their bikes.
Then he turns around and looks at me and smiles, I smile back knowing that I helped him walk now he has his freedom again.

My mom was holding my hand so hard it hurt. But at the same time it felt good because she never held my hand.
She never hugged me or even kissed me.  I wondered how long this would last her holding my hand.
I looked down memorizing her hand, her nails, and little imperfections.
I slowly looked up at her face, memorizing her eyes they are blue, her hair is a beautiful light red with little curls throughout her hair.
Her voice is special sometimes it can be very sweet to hear her, but at times I wish I didn’t hear what she said at all.
I wonder if she knows how much she hurt me, I wonder if she will be ok after I leave.