There's nothing worse than being stranded in the vast ocean of possibilities and unknowns of what life could've been like.

Just sitting there with nothing.

No hope... no comfort in sight.

Only the endless and unforgiving horizon of regret.

Being stranded as long as I have leads to overthinking and unrealistic dreaming.

And now I'm drowning in these thoughts and dreams of what my life could've been.

What life would've been like if I had decided to get up and dance, if I had not let myself get in the way, if I had gone to see you more often, if I would've told you how I felt.

These thoughts are killing me.

Pulling me under the rough currents and ripping the breath straight out of my lungs.

I'm dying to know what would've happened if I was brave and not engulfed in my anxiety.

But now all I can do is brace for the next wave of despair and regret and hope it doesn't take me with it.

What more can I do?
I've given you all of me.
What more could you want?

"They never knew what they had until they lose it."

But what if I did?
What if I knew exactly what I had?

I tried so hard to hold onto it because I could never find something like that ever again.
I wanted it to last.
But I guess it was never up to me.

Isn't that worse?

Knowing what you had and it leaving anyways, despite your best efforts.
Knowing that you weren't enough to make it want to stay?

Isn't that what heartbreak is?

I wish I could get out of my head and into others' so that way I could see myself from their perspective.

Then I'd know if my life is worth it or not.